It's the other one I don't trust

Hello my dearest :)

I've been thinking today about cheating. There isn't any particular reason for it, movies started it, I guess. Anyhow, you know how always the other person gets blamed for it? Well, I think that just wrong. Imagine this: A relationship between a guy a a girl. Girl cheats oh him and he sees it (or finds out). Guy walks over to her an her lover and he punches him. Or, the other way around: Girl starts pulling the other girl's hair. What the hell? It's really not their fault that your other half cheated on you. What do they care? Especially if they don't know this person was already in a relationship. I know it's easier to be angry at someone you don't know and not to believe that your love betrayed you, but that's the awful truth. We have one case in our family where an older guy was married. Everybody knew that that marriage is nothing, they had no love for each other, they just stayed married for God knows what reason. And, eventually, he found himself a (younger) girlfriend. I've met her and she is a 1000 times nicer than his wife. And after all of this, everybody blamed her, the new girl. How could she destroy the family? What is she thinking? Well, she's in love. And single. What does she care if he doesn't care about his wife? His family still doesn't like her even though they are married now and have a baby girl. (Probably not a baby anymore.) I honestly don't know if I could be with a person like that. Can he (in this case) guarantee you that he won't do the same to you? When he finds someone else, you'll e forgotten. But OK, that's her choice. But this new wife is totally innocent if you ask me. And when they say: "I trust you. It's him/her that I don't trust." If you trust your partner, it doesn't matter what the other person does. Nothing will happen. That's such a stupid line to say. Again, it's easier to blame the third person. But get real, it's the two of you in the relationship. You deal with your problems without anyone else.

Hopefully you'll agree with me ;)

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Caught cheating!

Christmas time!!

Hello everybody :)

I know I'm few days late, but I can never be too late for good wishes, right? I wish you merry Christmas! I wish you all the joy, health and love in this world. I wish you to spend these days with your loved ones and to have a great time!

Since Christmas has passed, I decides to make this post about presents. I can say that in my case Santa was very generous. (I'm not bragging or trying to make you feel bad. Have that in mind!!)

I won't write much, there are pictures to prove everything. (Click on the picture to enlarge it.)

First, I got a starter pack for doing nails. UV lamp, gels, powders, glues, sponges... Everything you need to start this profession. You can find more about this in my blog "Royalty Fashion" (link on the right).

Other than that, I got a beautiful New York themed calendar for 2015 which I actually really wanted for so long! There are also great headphones which I'm using at the moment. There's nothing better than watching a movie on your laptop and having the feeling like you're in the movie theater. Then there is this gorgeous golden necklace (not real gold, of course). It has little colorful diamonds in it and they move inside. It is so cool and I think I'll wear it very often! In the last picture, there is optical mouse for my white laptop. It works beautifully.

Everything in these pictures is something I really wanted or needed so I thank Santa Claus once again for loving me this much.

I hope you got some great things too. I would love to see what you got, so comment!

Bye bye

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Two or three about me

Hello :) Long time no talk... Yep, ten days is long for me. Anyhow holiday break has begun and I'm back!

I don't know if I've done this before so I apologize if I did but this time I really can't remember. My friend Anchy (blog on the right!) did this few times in the past month and I think it's a great idea to do the same thing. Here are few statements about... me!

1. I'm brunette and I like it that way. My hair is also naturally pretty curly and strong so I could say I adore my hair...
2. I can't imagine one day without music.
3. I love buying gifts for my friends so I sometimes more money than I should. But it's worth it.
4. I admire my brother since I was a kid. Even after he told me to hit the closet with my toes. Today we laugh at this, I wasn't laughing then...
5. I'm really bad at letting things go. Even if I don't like something/someone anymore, I get used to it/them and I know I will feel emptiness so I convince myself letting go isn't the smartest idea. Even if it is.
6. I'm totally socially awkward when I meet someone new. After few meetings, when I get comfortable with someone, I can't shut up. So they say...
7. I like to "create" my life in The Sims since I love that game. I'm usually "hopeless romantic".
8. I love chocolate. But who doesn't, right?
9. My (new) favorite color is green. If it's about clothes, I tend to buy red stuff because they look great on me (not to brag, right?).
10. Even though I'm 20 (almost), I have 4 shelves full of teddy bears that I got over the years. My room looks like I'm five and that makes me kinda embarrassed when I have my friends over but they got used to it (cause I always invite the same ones) and these toys are too important to me to get rid of them.

Hopefully you'll like this. Give me a feedback by commenting below or placing a check mark next to the best description of this post, also below. I'll make more of these since I have more facts about me I want you to know...

Till then, bye :*

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Learn something about me :)

GG review: The Bass's

Bart, Jack and Chuck. Later, their family expanded and welcomed Lily, with Serena and Eric, and, of course, Blair. With the show being based on teenagers, we can say that Chuck is the main member of this family. He was raised only by his father who always looked only on money and power, neglecting Chuck in many ways. Chuck's mother was dead, than alive to turn out that he was better off without her as she just tried to trick him into giving her all the money and heritage... The name "Bass" really meant something, they provoked power and fame, but also fear. Enemies just couldn't win...

1. Charles Bartholomew Bass. Popularly called Chuck. He was the bad boy of the Upper East Side. If someone was to blame, it was most probably him. He is shown as the character which, at first sight, cares only about himself and money. In the first two seasons we was kinda like that but we can see him change. One person that he always cared about was his best friend Nate. OK, when he wasn't kissing Blair... But seeing Nate and Chuck's friendship made me seriously want a friendship like that. Especially with Chuck having such messed up life (and personality), he found his solid rock in Nate. He's probably the most persistent character. He knows what he want, but he doesn't always gets what he wants so he immediately thinks it's the end of the world. After all of his ups and downs, he finally settles down in the end and marries the girl he chased all those seasons.
2. Bartholomew Bass. The greatest villains of all. In most of the show... Bart is a self-made millionaire. He owns pretty much everybody and everything, as he likes to act it like that... Because he made everything from nothing, he expect his son to be the greatest of all. He wants his family (only Chuck) to be tough and to listen only to him, as he is the smartest person there and with a great sense of business. (That's what he thinks.) The last part I can't really disagree with but he is ruthless and he only thinks of himself. And he can't imagine how his son doesn't want to be like that and how someone can leave everything for love.
3. Jack Bass is the younger and irresponsible brother of Bart. He came to New York after the apparent death of his brother to take control over the company. However, he failed when Lily became Chuck's legal guardian. He is good and bad. It really only depends on his mood. He liked Chuck, wanted to help him, be his guardian, but he soon became another villain who only wanted money and Bart's legacy.

What is sure is that they all have great taste in fashion. Always elegant, in suits, like real men. OK, we'll forget Chuck's first season and his crazy outfits. Also, they all seem to love Scotch (Chuck's a bit young for all that alcohol, isn't he?). 

The Bass family.

Lately...

Hello :D

I know I've been neglecting you, but I had tons of studying to do these past few weeks, and as much as I love to post something new, I had to get my priorities straight. You understand that, right? Well, it's all over now. At least, I'll have nothing major to do before new year. Where to start? In the past week I had my ups and downs, mostly do to my college experience. Everybody is saying no to worry about exams, they won't be important in ten years. I know exams are small when looking at your whole life but, at the moment, they are one of the most important part of my life. That's why I was going crazy lately, but I'm fine now... Other than that, my family started to tease me about my friend from college and I started to slightly avoid him which I really don't want to do. So I said: "F*** it!" He's one of my best friends, best male friend for sure, and I'm not giving that up. (Yes, I friendzoned him, as everybody like to use this term...) Also... I've been to 4 (?) concerts in a really great concert hall and every one of them was great! Everything was really elegant, people were all dressed up... Me and my friend tried to keep up with them and I have to say we weren't bad at all. It's not that usual that two college girl wear gowns in the night out, so we adjusted our fashion style a bit and we looked dazzling! (Am I modest or what?) As a little girl I watched all those shows were balls were normal and, of course, I wanted to be a part of it. This is not exactly a ball, but it's probably the closest that I'll ever get to some fancy reception. I loved it! Next on... Christmas is close enough to start talking about presents... I only have two more presents to buy and make and I'm done. I'm so proud of myself that I'm not doing it in the last minute. I also can't wait to decorate my flat and my grandparent's house! We usually do everything on the Christmas Eve, as it should be done like that, but I'll try to convince my parents that next weekend is the perfect time to start decorating... So, now that I filled you in with all that was happening lately I can go and rest a bit from my week from hell...

Talk to you soon :)

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I just did, didn't I?

Starting to love her

Hello :)

As you (must) know by now, I love my brother. And I'm so proud of him. All the time! But there are times when I get even more proud of him, happier for his accomplishments. Today is one of those days. He finished college. He literally nailed it! Even if it wasn't my brother, I could not believe that was only a student. He was so professional, so smart! I can't express how happy I am today. There's literally nothing else on my mind all day. This is huge! If you think I'm over exaggerating, you're wrong! Or you don't have a sibling... Anyhow, today was an awesome day! But I started this with something that amazed me today. His girlfriend was also there, of course. And she did something that made me start to love her. (I'm only starting. She has to earn my love to give her my brother. :D) When the ceremony was over, everybody wanted to congratulate him. And she made me be the first one! It's really a small thing, but this was really nice of her. First, she was closer to him, and second, girlfriends usually run first. She's not like that. And this small thing she did kinda made my day complete. Thank you Mimi. I don't know how will I act if I ever get a boyfriend, but, for now, blood comes first. My brother and be are connected with blood, but also with something much more stronger - unconditional love! As they say, men/women come and go, but friends/family stay. I hope this one won't go, but even if she does, I'll still be here. Always and forever. No matter what. And that's why this act by Mimi made me like her more than ever.

Remember that the little stuff you sometimes don't even acknowledge can make somebody's whole day. One sentence can change everything they think about you. It just has to be the right one...

With these happy and optimistic thoughts, I leave you...

Bye bye

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Pride. Love.

Am I the only one...?

Hello :) How are you? All good? Great.

So, you've all noticed that it is so so popular to start a sentence with the words "am I the only one"... This is even popular in the virtual world, read - Facebook. Pictures, statuses, groups... Everybody is the "only one". As I like to read the comments, I've noticed that people get really annoyed when somebody uses these words for starting a statement. And I can really get why is that. Of course that you can't be the only one. In a world of 7.125 billion people (and rising) you can't be the only one who drinks juice right after getting up, the only one who dances in the shower or the only one who doesn't like to eat the cream of the cookie by itself. People use this to emphasize that they are in minority. And that's all there is to it. I don't understand why would anyone get irritated by this? Because I'm sure that everyone used this at least once in their lives. With "am I the only one" we attract the attention to whatever that is that we do kinda differently. And by reading stuff like this, we can just see how much people are alike. Unknown people thinking the same, doing the same thing. There is something really popular in your neighborhood and you think you are the only one who noticed it. You post it on Facebook and realize there's a guy/girl on the other side of the world with that same routine. I think that's pretty amazing. If I think about it a bit more, it's not so so amazing because I already said you can't be the only one in the 7 billion people, but it's still pretty amazing. (If you can see the difference between "so so amazing" and "pretty amazing".) So, what I'm trying to say here... Don't get pissed over something like this. It's great to see how people talk, move, think on the other side of this ball we call the Earth. Maybe you'll find your soul mate, you never know. ;)

Bye bye

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P.S. I'm sorry for the bad photo combining. There's something wrong with my PhotoScape.

So, am I the only one??

Never to forget!

Hello everyone.

On this day, 18.11. 1991., 23 years ago, one town in my country fell under the force of the enemies. Vukovar. It was heavily damaged during our Croatian War of Independence. More than 1600 people died, and more than 1200 people were injured. It was the worst battle since those seen in the World War II. About 2000 Croats were defending the city against approximately 36000 Serbs. We lasted for 87 days and then Vukovar was overrun. Thousands of people who have survived had to leave, not knowing their future. So many lost lives, so many survivors that will have this picture in their mind forever. Every year, there's a silent column to commemorate those who gave their lives for us. For our better future.

All I have to say today is that I'm so very much grateful for our heroes. They will live forever. As long as there are Croats, they will live. Our heroes. Our Vukovar. Our country. Thank you! Today we pray for them, for their families. For our Croatia. This is a day of remembrance.

Also, there is a tradition, since almost every city in our country has a street names after this town of Vukovar, to light up candles on those streets. I live in the capital city and I really have to say it was beautiful. So many candles. So much light in the dark. There's nothing like it. My heart was skupping beats as I was going down that street.

Proud to be Croat!!

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Graveyard in Vukovar.

Streets all over Croatia.

It is coming...!

Hello :D

Have you noticed Christmas is coming? Yep, November started and everything is "beginning to look a lot like Christmas"... It is absolutely my favorite time of the year. I just love to watch the snow fall, all white outside, to cover with big blanket, watch TV with a cup of hot cocoa in my hands... Or, I love to put on warm sweater, boots and go outside on the perfect white day. Commercials (Coca-Cola has the best ones!) are also already in the Christmas mood, stores are decorated... Everything is already prepared for this big and wonderful holiday. But I think this is wrong in one way. It's November, people! For God's sake. I would be OK with Christmas season starting on the first of December. It's almost known as "Christmas month". So, that would be OK, but this is just too much. As much as I like to see decorated town, it makes people look on Christmas differently. It's all about buying stuff and, since it's all prepared in the beginning of November, the big holiday fades away. Christmas used to be emphasized only a week or two before the big date and that's it. Now we have Christmas for two and a half months in a year. That's not right, right? Like everything in this world and these days, Christmas is all about making money. Charities, buying gifts, "special" offers... No, people, no! I was about to say that's it's OK in case you want to buy something for your loved ones, but I just realized that's the same thing. Everybody is buying something for someone. I can't really be sure what to think about all of this, but I do know one thing: Christmas is in late December, act like that!

Merry... Oh wait... Bye ;)

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P.S. This is a real Internet page. Not a virus. Type: www.isitchristmas.com and you'll get the answer "NO". ("Ne" means "no" in Croatian.)

Not yet!

Boyfriend manners

Hello :)

I finally did what I'm always talking about doing - I wrote down my topics and now I can easily write for few days in a row. Great, huh?

Keep in mind that I am aware of the fact that I don't have a boyfriend before you write it down in the comments. So here I go... I've been watching lots of couples on the streets and I've noticed few patterns. Guys are carrying girls' bags and coats, umbrellas over their heads, standing in front of a very very pink store window and all for her. Also, when it's freezing outside it's kinda normal for a guy to give his jacket to her. And this is my point of view... If you decide to bring a bag with you, you carry it! Nobody pushed you to take it and fill it with bulls*it. It didn't become so heavy or big by itself. I can't see why a guy should carry your stuff. Next. If it's cold, bring a coat. If it gets warmer, carry it. Put it in the bag if it fits. Anything. But you are responsible for your own stuff. Next. I can "forgive" umbrellas because couples usually take only one and the guy is usually taller, so I guess it's fine. Next. If you see something really great in the store, go check it out. But don't just pointlessly stand there while he's waiting and clearly not amused. Do what you need to do and move on. Next. If you're going out, check the weather forecast. They usually know whether you'll need the jacket or not. Listen to them. And if you still don't bring your jacket, when it gets really cold go somewhere indoors. Or go home. There's no need for him to get pneumonia. And now the other side... I know all of these actions that he does are really romantic and sweet, but they are simply unnecessary if you prepare correctly. Maybe they need, from time to time, to feel useful, protective and like saviors, but some things love does are just stupid. We'll never understand it. Just accept it. I can even go pass the pink windows and jackets, but carrying something for her (except the really heavy bags e.g. from the store) no. That's, of course, just me. Couples. She likes to be handled like a queen, guy likes to treat her like one. It's kinda the way it should be, just don't go overboard.

Have fun. Love each other. Respect each other.

Bye :*

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I swear it's my girlfriend's. Yeah right. ;)

Incoming grandparents: Reactions

Hey.

I'm a day late with this one, but you'll forgive me, right? This is the last post about my grandparents. I think. For now. So... Having strangers walking through your apartment isn't fun. In all this time I haven't called them "grandparents" once! I just randomly say: "Who wants water?" or something like that. I can't say "grandma" and "grandpa" to them. It's not even fair to my "real" grandparents from my mother's side who were there with me and for me my whole life. I find it hard to call them like that even when I'm talking to my friends. They are unknown people to us. And they were living here for three days. It's not that easy. Not as it seems. As weird as this whole experience was, my father and aunt made it the weirdest ever. I told my mom that this is probably the worst weekend I ever lived through. This could have been so much easier if my father was more normal. My mom told him that he and his sister are so much worse than their parents. (Because my father thinks he's so much better than them.) These three days wouldn't be as bad as they were, but these fights all the time were just too much. I can't understand how my father and aunt could act like this. I mean, they haven't seen their parents in few years (my aunt went to see them 3 times, and my father once in these 23 years of how long they haven't been living here). I know it's hard to deal with old people, technology has run them over, they can't hear or see as they used to, they wander and can't stay concentrated as long as we expect them to... It's annoying but normal. No need to yell at them. I get really annoyed by my grandparent when they figure something out, but I understand. My father doesn't. I don't think I ever spoke more badly of my father than in these few last posts. Last two weeks or more, I saw that we bonded a bit, everything was going good. Why? Because I decided to let go. I decided that I'll try to forget all of his stupid actions. And that's the only way for us to function, if I play dumb and by his rules. I can't say I was fine with it, but it broke the the tensions in the house so I was happier. After this, I can't even function like before. I also think these were the posts that I let you in the most. This is basically my every day. Tensions, crying, worrying. My father. And I'm only 20. Actually 19 and 10/12. Shouldn't I still be carefree? I know I shouldn't be pushed down by my father for sure.

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Don't you ever forget this!!! It must be earned.

Incoming grandparents: Day 3

Hello.

Quick intro: My grandparents whom I haven't seen 10 years are here. The saga continues. So, my grandparents decided (we all did) to spend the last whole day at my aunt's place. She made lunch just how I like it. Thank you aunty. And I realized that I really bonded with my cousin over the past few years. We were once really apart and not family-like at all. All of this brought us even more together because we're all feeling the same. My brother, cousin and me. Back to the lunch... My aunt owns a cat. And she is so in love with that cat. And can be really really really pushy with it. She's gonna make you love it in 5 seconds. At least, she'll try to. And my mother, grandpa and father hate cats. Well, hate is a strong word, but once they see a cat in the kitchen, on the table, they freak. I mean, we all do, but not as much. I am totally a dog person, but I like cats too. No matter my love for them, they can't be on the table, in the kitchen in general and on the bed. So, to sum this up, they immediately had a fight over that cat. Over the lunch that lasted for maybe 4 hours, how long I stayed there (I went home earlier to study), they had numerous fights about everything. I have to admit that my aunt let herself go after her divorce and she really doesn't look like much. Her parents tried to tell her that nicely, but didn't succeed, and that fight was the biggest. There are lots of reasons for my aunt being like this, but the point is the fight. After about two hours of me being home alone, my family came back. My mom left me all alone with them because she had to go to work, night shift. So they yelled a bit more. And more. And more. And then I went to sleep. I thought I would get some sleep before waking up at 6 a.m. this morning. But no. They just wouldn't shut up. And I felt uncomfortable to say anything to them because they were here only for three and a half days... So I kept my mouth shut. I fell asleep at about 1 a.m. Great. My father yelled in one moment: "She doesn't mind the laud music!" referring to me. Do you even know me? I mind everything when I sleep. I am a really light sleeper and I mind music and voices and birds... Everything. But don't mind me dad. In meantime, as I was listening to all of that, I started crying. I felt so bad for my mom. And for me and my brother. I really do think my mom loved my father when they got married. But these few last years I think she's making huge compromises that she shouldn't do. I don't think she's happy with him. And that kills me. My father is really short tempered, while my mom has huge patience. And that's how they work.

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Panicked but survived!!

Incoming grandparents: Day 2

Hi.

Just a quick introduction to the story: my grandparents, whom I haven't seen for 10 years, are here, in my home. And this is the second day. How is is going so far? Weird. In one word, weird. I have no idea what to talk about, what to ask, how to act. All of my fears and predictions from the last post came true. My brother doesn't like them very much, so it's even weirder when he's around. They have some issues from the past, no need to go there now... Anyhow, we've been hanging a lot with our aunt too, and our cousin. As you may know, my father has a very quick temper. Too quick if you ask me. My aunt too. Blood is not water, as they say... And my grandparents are obviously old and they need more time to connect the dots and figure something out. Moreover, they can't see or hear right. Years caught up with them. You have to show them everything twice or three times, repeat everything few times... It's not easy, but it's normal. For some reason, my aunt and father can't understand them. We all had lunch today. They had about 6 fights in 5 hours... And, as I told my mom today, my biggest surprise, if I can even call it a surprise, is my father. He's making the whole thing even more awkward. And the little respect I had for him so far, I lost it. Every time my mom told me I can't behave like that, I can't be rude to my father, I felt guilty, sad. I won't anymore. I know it's hard when your own child doesn't respect you or even care for you at some moments, but respect has to be earned. And after I saw how he treats his parents, I'm so done with it. So, you could say that this was awkwardly good day. I am finally free. We still have tomorrow and half of Monday. We'll see how that goes.

Bye :)

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Still holding!!

Incoming grandparents

Hey you :)

I only have an hour of freedom so I have to type fast. What am I talking about? My grandparents are coming and they're staying at our place for a few days. That normally wouldn't be a problem, but we don't have typical grandparents-granddaughter relationship. We haven't seen each other for about 10 years. There are few reasons why, I won't get into that. We talk on the phone once a month and on birthdays and holidays, but that's not really a relationship we should have. I know I'm blood related to them, and that's pretty much all I can feel for them. They're not really my grandparents. And I have no idea how to act around them, what to say, what to ask... I can't ask "What's new?" because I don't even know what's old. I know almost nothing about them. Last time they (actually only grandma) visited, she stayed at my aunt's place and we only went there for two days. And I was too little to know what awkward is. I only cared for the golden pendant she gave me. I'm over that material phase, so now I have to bond with them. But how? I have to be polite, communicative and really happy they're here but I'm not. I don't have any other emotion than "awkward!". It was planned that me and my family go to them but something happened and now sides are reversed. I was looking forward to going to their place because I was interested. And I love traveling and sightseeing. And now I'm doomed. At least I feel like that. Please tell me what to do!! Like awkwardness isn't enough, I have a big test on Tuesday, so I really really need to study. And I'm going to feel really stupid for being closed in my room all weekend. But I have to have my priorities. And, unfortunately, they're not it. I'm connected to them only because of my father. I never actually needed them, I have my other grandparents, family, friends (...), so I can't say they weren't here when I needed them. They just weren't here. No feelings. I'll keep you posted!

Wish me luck, bye

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All blurry in my head.

(Bad) neighbors

Hello :)

Although, there is a movie with cute Zac Efron titled like this, this is a whole different story. Where do you live? In a house or a flat? I live in a building with 14 flats. Of course, I have neighbors. Most of them I don't even know to be honest. They are either much older than me or ones who move a lot so they spend a month in this building and then they're gone. I have my favorite old neighbor that I simply call The Neighbor. She's just really nice old lady that I kinda consider my third grandma since she was the one who welcomed me home every day from school. Than I have this older guy that is my father's friend from childhood actually. He is also really sweet. And, since he's an artist, I get lots of his crafts (magnets, few necklaces, souvenirs...). That's about it who I actually love from this building. Others just say "Hi.", I say "Hi." back and that's it. And there are those new neighbors. New is relative term here. They've been here for about a year, maybe more. And I hate them all more and more by the day. There are husband and wife with three girls there. Two of them are in elementary school, one started high school a year ago (?). Never mind actually. They annoy me and The Neighbor. There are three flats on each floor. So, we're all on the ground floor. Yaay us. These five people have the urge to yell every night from 10 p.m. till about 2 or 3 in the morning. Every single day. I know they're out most of the day so it's kinda expected to find people at home late at night. But they're either fighting every day or just talking. It's the same for them. They yell. All the time. And early in the morning. Oh God. Six a.m. on Sunday. Seriously? Go to sleep. Or go to church. Do whatever you want just be quiet. I bang on the wall every night in hope they'll get the hint. My arm is blue. I can't do it anymore. So I just switch rooms, I go to my brother's room since he's not here. I don't know anything about them. I don't want to know. I don't care. But, whatever their story is, they should be aware that they are not alone here. The Neighbor told them everything and you would think that it would be enough for normal people to get it. But not them. It's a freaking building! We have some lousy rules about noise, but we still have them. No yelling after 10 (I think) p.m. and before 7 a.m. (again, I think). Having a flat means not being alone. Although, you should be able to do whatever you want in your own apartment, it's so not OK to the others living here. I really hope you'll never get neighbors like this.

Bye...

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Totally.

Friends are family

Hello lovely readers! Sorry for not writing in a while. I don't have actually any reason for it, so I hope it won't happen again... I'l write my topics on a napkin if I have to. ;)

First of all, I have to brag a bit and say that Cristiano Ronaldo, himself, re-tweeted me and favorited like 5 to 6 times. I'm not even sure now, but I know this is a big thing for me since I'm a fan. No, I'm not one of those who will talk about this for years now to everyone I see, don't worry... What next? Oh yeah. My topic. I've always known that having great friends means the world. Without friends you have the feeling you haven't accomplished anything in life. At least, most of it doesn't matter as much. This time I'm leaving out the family factor, so don't mind if I say friends are everything. Of course, family is everything too. Anyhow, I had a really really bad day yesterday. I was angry at myself, disappointed, I cried. In public. And I never ever (!) do that. I didn't actually cry, my eyes were just a bit wet. It all happened at college and I realized then that I have wonderful friends. So this is for them. For Three who was there first, who tried to make me feel as comfortable as I could be. For Maggy who didn't ask a whole bunch of questions, who understood without a word. Even better because we were surrounded by other people whom I can't really call my group of friends. Nothing against them, they're just not my first choice when it comes to friends. But most of all I would like to thank Joan who sacrificed her free time to be with me. And that happened after I called out of the blue. That really counts! We spent 5 hours (?) together and in that time I forgot everything. Of course those feelings came back eventually, but in those few hours I was free of it. As we were going home, I meant to tell her "Thanks." but my stupid brain forgot it as I was catching a bus. Anyhow, thank you Joan. Not only for yesterday. For being my friend for 5 years now. I couldn't imagine my life without you. Not to stop there, I have one more friend who wasn't involved yesterday but deserves to be thanked. Thank you Dorchy. For being there in all my "failed love" feelings (who were so stupid I know, but she stood by my side!). Thank you both for making me laugh. For making me happy, especially on the days when I feel like I'm going to fall apart. You have that something that makes my life better. I think all should be this lucky to have friends like I have mine. Thank you. Love you.

P.S. I apologize to my readers if they think this is not for a blog but for a personal letter, but I think great friends deserve to be thanked publicly.

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There isn't picture pretty enough for my friends, but this will do it :)

Change within seconds

Hello :)

Yesterday was a big day for me. Nothing happened. My heart played a game with my mind. And I'm still not sure who won. I watched "The Lucky One" and, since it's a romantic movie, it got to me. I started thinking and over-thinking in the late hours never goes well. One thought led to another and few minutes later I was thinking about ancient past and how it will affect my future. My leading thought was I wasn't good enough. Not for my family, friends, colleagues, society in general. While I was thinking about that, I thought about opening my heart and soul here today. I wanted to write it all down. No matter how it may make me look. Thank God I was kinda alone, my parents were in the other rooms, probably sleeping. I couldn't explain what's wrong since I wasn't sure myself. Now that I actually started writing this, I'm not sure I should write my life just yet. I'm sure you'll have the chance to read my mind one day, but that's not today. I got from "I'm nothing" to "I never lose, I trip and keep going" in such short time that even I'm amazed. Sure I wasn't acting like I don't care few seconds after I started crying. It went on for half an hour maybe, but then something else hit me. I found myself saying that I can do something, that I live my life and it's my thing how I go through it. Today I still kinda have that weird feeling in me, like something's wrong. But this feeling isn't actually bothering me. It's normal that you have that post-traumatic period. And I think of yesterday as that. I had a crisis, I got over it, at least for now, and I moved on for the day. Sometimes I think I would feel much better if I just told someone my problems but there's that feeling that they won't understand. So I keep almost everything to myself. I learned to live with it. As much as it bothers me, and I have this series of bad mood, I think that I'm learning how to deal with it exactly because I handle it myself. After every episode, I try to see the good side, good in the bad, happy in sad... It sounds stupid but it works. For instance, when I feel down I look at my old photos. I have few of them where I find myself good-looking and that boosts my confidence. I also look up (I have pictures on my desk) and I see my friends who bring me plenty of joy every day. That calms me down and I'm good for some time. My mood depends on so many factors so I can't really tell you how long I can stay happy. But I was genuinely happy today for a "friend" of mine. He was great. Congrats J.D. It doesn't mean anything to you, but I'm proud of you.

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Change for the brighter.

Disease around us

Hey.

I've read today that Ebola, deadly disease, very popular these days, was discovered about 40 years ago (if I'm not mistaking). This guy who discovered then said he feels a disaster coming. Oh boy, was he right. I don't know if I mentioned ever before, but I'm terrified of dying. And not only that I'm scared like almost every normal human being is, I literally can't think about it because I can cry about it for 2 hours without stopping. That's me. And, being like that, this Ebola is really worrying me. Especially now when they confirmed first cases of it in the country next to us. And there are some suspicious cases in one of our towns too, but they're not confirmed yet. It really scares me because it's world known that they don't have the cure for it. They actually know how to cure it because 40% of people didn't die of it, but that was pure luck combined with their organisms. So, it's more likely to think that if you, God (or any other force that you believe in) forbid it, get Ebola, you'll die. And now I'm thinking... Why do people still travel with this on our minds? Why visit a critical country? OK, if you wanna help go, but don't come back if you are sick!! I know it sounds rude but there's not any other way of stopping this thing. Until the whole world is safe, they should really close all boarders. I know this would cause huge mess, but better mess than death! People from those countries should stay there. They should get all the help they can get, of course, but shouldn't be a threat to the entire world! It could be that only I'm thinking like this because I'm healthy and I want to stay that way. Maybe it's not fair to all the sick people out there. But, let's be honest, you can't win against this. At least not for now. Disease will die with people. That's the whole philosophy. Yes, I know what I'm saying here, and I'm so sorry that I put it like that. It's awful. And it's the truth. And I'm also sorry for the people that have to go through this. I really hope somebody will find the real cure for it. For me. For all the people out there. Healthy and sick ones. I also hope that if that happens, they won't charge it $99999999999 per pill so only the rich people could stay alive. Wake up people!!!! We need to think really hard about this, this is not a game. Think about yourself, your family, neighbors, friends... Don't travel if it's not safe. Test yourself at the first signs of coughing. It could be nothing. But it's better for everyone that if you, again God forbid, have this disease to find out as soon as possible. With this horrible thoughts on my mind, I leave you to think. I really hope this will all go away by the end of the year and it will all turn out to be a really really bad dream.

Bye.

P.S. I'm once again sorry for the way I may treated sick people here. I didn't mean that they need to die so we could be safe. I'm jut pointing out that we need to be extra careful. I'm just scared.

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no picture needed (you don't want to see the picture of this...)

Virgin territory

Hello :)

So, I watched this, apparently, new show on MTV yesterday. It is literally called "Virgin territory". What is it about? Duh! Virgins... I watched maybe about ten minutes of it and it was awful. Disrespectful. There was this girl, she's 19 I think and she is, you guessed, a virgin. And the whole show is about her and her friends (I think they were her friends, or maybe hosts of the show) finding her a guy. They pushed her to the club, and convinced everyone is the one! For starter, like the club is a great place to meet anyone... For a long relationship. She didn't find anyone. Not really important, but the way they talked about it... They made her being a virgin at the age of 19 something weird. Like it's so not normal and she shouldn't be like that. I'm not sure if they didn't think she was cool enough or they thought that being a virgin is a disease... They took something that personal and made it a TV show. I'm sure they didn't force that girl to be there, but the topic itself is terrible. I watched it, like I said, for only ten minutes but you could clearly see the message behind it. If I wasn't perfectly confident about my virginity at my age of 19, I would be so depressed. They have put too much pressure on young girls. Not everyone has to lose it on the 16th birthday. It's my personal opinion that it's best to wait for someone who is worth it, for "the one". But, again, it's everyone's personal choice. I didn't get what they were thinking... Let's say some girl who felt that pressure went out and lost something she can never get back. I know this may seem to you as a stupid topic and totally unnecessary to write about, but then I think you're wrong. I also have to say that writing this made me proud of myself. Being able to rise above the peer pressure and being myself in this situation. In the situation which is this important. This is something that a girl should decide by herself, with the right guy. Every girl has that choice to do whatever she wants with her virginity, but I think this kind of pressure is just wrong.

Bye

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Just what we all need....

Cheap presents

Hello :)

I've been thinking today why do people get offended if they get a cheap present. It's still a present. And if it's good, what's the problem? We have few web sites in our country which provide cheaper services. You can get sometimes more than 60% off if you find the right offer on it. And there are various offers: from hairdressers, through ski vacations, to painting your room. I personally think that who ever thought of this is a freaking genius. They get more publicity and customers, therefore more money, and people get everything they want in a cheaper version. And now people get offended if they get something from one of those sites. And I don't get it. If you want to give me a full treatment at the hair salon, I won't mind if you pay $50 or $20. I would actually be happier if you could get it cheaper. I've heard few people talking about Christmas presents and they are only praying that they don't get anything from those sites. Seriously? If you like the present, you should like it no matter what the price tag says. Right? I guess people think that if you get them something cheap, you don't like/love them enough. Which I think is a total bullshit (sorry for the expression). Of course we all like to get big and great presents, but I am almost equally happy if I get a chocolate or a new bag for example. It's the thought that counts. It really is. When it comes to presents, don't ever forget this! I started this because I have a feeling that I could actually get something from these sites, so I wanted to emphasize that there's nothing wrong in paying less for the same thing. I once took my friends to lunch to a restaurant (a pretty fancy one if I may add) but we bought an offer from one of these sites. And we had a great time. There was no awkwardness or anything like that. We agreed on this and, if anything, everybody was happy to pay less. More and more I see people buying something like this because it just makes more sense.

"Accept every present like it's made of gold."

Bye

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Mini present...

Leave a comment

Hello :)

I've been looking at my old profile pictures on Facebook just a few minutes ago and I saw a big difference between then and now. I don't know exactly what changed but I don't get any comments anymore. Don't get me wrong. I'm not some kind of attention freak and I really don't need everybody's confirmation, especially not for a profile picture. If I already put it there, it's kinda obvious that I like it. But I've seen that I have tons of great comments on the previous pictures. It's always great to hear something nice about yourself. We'll say that "like" is also a sign of approval and proof that somebody actually likes what they see. Now, what I don't get is what changed... In my humble opinion, I'm prettier now than I was two, four or more years ago. That's maybe the only reason I started this. And then I looked at myself. I too usually only "like" pictures, but I almost always comment on pictures of my dear or best friends. I usually like them all, but I honestly think that all my friends are beautiful so I don't mind saying it. And I kinda imagine the expression on their faces when they read something like: "You're beautiful!" I mean, I would probably smile from ear to ear. And I used to do it, while back when I was getting comments like that. As I said before, I won't die because people don't comment or like my pictures, but I'm just curious what has changed over the years... Of course, I like watching my old profile pictures for one more reason. Other than seeing "pretty, nice, cute, beautiful" on the right side of the picture, some of those comments are written by people I used to love and hang all the time with. I don't even talk to these people anymore. There weren't any fights, we just grew apart. And that's why I like, from time to time, open my album, list all the pictures and read something that will remind me of what I used to have. I'm not blaming anybody for it. They changed, I changed I guess, school lead us in different ways... That's how it goes. Anyhow, people comment! Not because people are egoistic or attention freaks, but because it's always nice and great to read something good, a compliment.

Goodbye everyone

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Comments. Comments everywhere.

Happy, because I can be!

Hello :) Sorry if I neglected you, I have a good reason.

So, there are bunch of free concerts here near my town, so I've been going there to listen to my favorite bands and singers. They are also the most popular ones in my country and region. And it's great that we have that every year. Thank God I finished my year of college almost three months ago so I'm free as a bird to do whatever I want. Of course, I suck at organizing my time. I said I would use this free time during the day to go and buy a Christmas present for my mum since I already know what I'm going to buy and once the college starts I'll have no time. But, of course, I didn't do anything I planned. I have to go and visit my friend that just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. And I can't make time for that either. I go to a concert every night, and I sleep through half a day, get up, eat, and start getting ready for the next concert. And I've been doing that for a week now. It's terrible. But this is once a year event, so I'll make the best out of it. That's also why I haven't been so active lately. Actually there's not much to say either. I am happy. Satisfied. That's all that matters, right? I ran into some dear friends yesterday. I always love when I see him and his girlfriend. Now, don't make some crazy assumptions,  he's like a big brother to me. And I did not friendzoned him, I promise. I don't know if anyone noticed, but my eyes glowed in the moment, I'm sure. But other than that, I saw few more friends that I haven't seen in a while and that was great. Memories. Good feelings. Other than being pissed at myself for not managing my time properly, I'm really happy. Peaceful. Calm. I love it!!!

Stay well, bye :)

I choose to be happy. Because I can.

It's not PMS!!

Hey.

As you can guess by the title, I'm pissed, annoyed, angry and a bit sad. And it's not because of PMS. Let me tell you a bit about my day. So, I went to the grocery shop with my mom in the morning. As we were going home, I reminded her about our trip to the mall when we get home. I told her yesterday about it. She didn't agree but she didn't disagree either. So I just brought that up to see if she made up her mind. She said OK. I left out that the mall is half an hour by car from my home. So I could have used the ride too, but there's a free bus, so I won't make such a big deal out of it. When we got home, she went to sleep because she worked the night shift. After few hours, when she woke up, she suggested that we go to the mall herself. But not immediately because she was hungry and wanted to have some lunch. Fine, I can wait for an half or a full hour more. And I did. Two hours. Then I started getting ready. She didn't move from the couch. Ten minutes before the time that our bus leaves, she's still not ready. Why? She decided not to go. Seriously? She couldn't have said anything earlier? The problem is that she always does it. She says we'll go anywhere, she stalls, and then the evening comes and we just go to sleep. I got so pissed that I had to call my friend (thanks D.) to calm myself down a bit. And I did. But only for maybe 20 minutes. As the bus left off, I started over-thinking everything. Our conversation from the morning came to my mind and then I crashed. We were talking how when I'm home she doesn't have the problem to sleep. And I really let her sleep because I know how much she likes it and how tired she is. But God forbid that she sleeps while my father or brother are home. I get the brother part, since he's home only for the weekends. But the best reason she gave me about my father is: "I have to give him something to eat." I mean, really??? He's not a baby, there's always something in the kitchen. And if we're playing that card, what about me? When she sleeps, I make my own lunch. End of story. And this conversation went on and on in my mind. I came to a point of crying in the middle of a full bus. But, thank God, these were silent tears. My eyes were wet, my teeth were pressed against each other, but I think nobody noticed anything. Sadly, I'm used to this kind of crying. And why did I put this title? Because I ran into a friend of mine, and she saw I'm pissed and immediately asked: "PMS, huh?" No!!! Not PMS, people!

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My mood exactly.

Time of the year: Need money

Hi. I'm back.

It's that time of the year when I need more money. I was planning on working this month so I could earn about $500 but the company has two bosses. One was thrilled with me and said that they need someone for the job. Unfortunately, the other one found out about it two days later and they fired me. This is not actually important for the story but I wanted to emphasize that I really tried to earn my own money because I want lots of things and I'm uncomfortable with asking my mom every day for something. I do that because I don't have any incomes, but I really ask only for the necessary stuff. Anyhow, I made a list of everything I want, preferably in this month. I would need $700, if I remove something it would get to $600. It's whole lot of money, but these are the stuff I really need or want for a really really long time. I'm not counting all my accessories and stupid little things that I buy every day. That's why I was really looking forward to this paycheck. On this list I have: a visit to dentist (I want to whiten my teeth), pierced ears, a radio and a CD player, winter jacket, boots... And now, if I ask my mother she will be a bit upset but she'll give up eventually. But I don't want that. And there's my aunt that likes to buy me stuff and she's looking for my birthday or Christmas present so I could ask her for something smaller. And there's my (the best) brother that is also very generous, with a big paycheck... And I don't feel right taking their money often anymore. What to do? I made this list on the clean big sheet of paper so everybody could see it. Maybe I'll get something for my birthday. That's my only hope. I kinda hate autumn and spring (that's my favorite season) just for this reason. I need change of clothes and shoes. Don't get me wrong, I don't buy boots and jackets every year. But it really turned out badly this year and I have to buy everything at once. I hate it. Any advice? I'm going to give up all things I don't really need right now, but all of it will come sooner or later. 

I hope you have less money problems. Stay well, bye :)

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Empty piggy bank :(

Songs that touch my soul

Hey. :)

It's world wide known that girls are, in general, more emotional than guys so many things can make us cry. Also, it's known that everybody is different so this may not go for all the girls (or guys) out there. However, I'm going to tell you what makes me cry. Other than almost every romantic movie I see. There are these movies and songs that always hit my heart and I, most of the times, can't help myself. I start crying. Not necessarily because of what I heard or saw that moment, but that triggered something in me. Half an hour later, I'm crying over my embarrassing moment in the second grade. And there's nothing I can do to control that. So, eventually, I just stopped fighting it. If nothing, tears are good for cleaning your eyes. Other than movies, songs are the second best thing for triggering tears.

1. Song "Don't Speak" by No Doubt makes me think about the guy that I sat with in the elementary school for the last two years. It was no secret that I had a huge crush on him, but, stupid me, I denied everything when somebody would ask me about it. Anyhow, after the school ended we stayed in touch for a very short time and now we only see each other on the big gatherings of the entire class every few years. Let me just remind you of the beginning: "You and me...We used to be together...Everyday together always...I really feel...That I'm losing my best friend...I can't believe...This could be the end ..." Every single verse I just wrote describes exactly how I feel about him. And yes, it's weird since we were together every single minute for that last two years and since it says that he was like my best friend that we parted away, but unfortunately that happens.
2. Song "Cvijetak žuti" ("Yellow Flower"). Other than really peaceful and kinda sad melody, there are sad lyrics about a flower dying because the winter is coming.
3. Song" Zeko i potočić" ("Bunny and the Creek") is about the snow covering the creek and the bunny is crying because he can't find the creek.
4. Song "Kad se prijatelji rastaju" ("When friends go apart/say goodbye") by Jasmin Stavros is really what the title says. Everything will exist, but there won't be friends after goodbye. This song is always on some reunions or the last days of school/graduations etc. If you don't cry at that in my country, you have a heart of stone.
5. Song "Zora je" ("It's Dawn") by Neda Ukraden is a great love song. It's dawn, he's not there and she can't stop loving him. She wants him back, she's dreaming about him, and he's not coming. She cries.
6. Song "Broken Strings" by James Morrison and Nelly Furtado. Just listen to the lyrics. Everything will be clear. "It tears me up, I try to hold on but it hurts too much..."
7. Song "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley. Just one of those songs that I have to listen from the beginning to the end. And I have to spend the whole time thinking about everything. "Because I love you too much baby..."

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Rose on the music. The dream.

GG review: The Van Der Woodsen's

Hey ya all :)

Serena. Eric. Lily. Those are the main members of this family but we also connect William, Serena and Eric's father, and the whole Rhodes family to them. The Van Der Woodsen family is one of the wealthiest families in Manhattan. They are rich, powerful, well-known and are trying to keep their reputation at the high level. At the first look, there isn't anything that family can't do or have. But the reality is different. Every member has some secret that's pulling them to the bottom. Being raised in such world, Eric and Serena learned from early ages how to manipulate for what they want. Lily tried her best to raise them without that but having her own problematic past and family, they had no chance.

1. Lily. Head of the family since she divorced her husband Will. Personally, she's one of my favorite characters. She's always classy, everything is well-put together on her and around her. She does everything to protect her family and to keep the peace around them all. Always very elegant and everything she does, she does with a smile on her face. One of the strongest and most stable persons there. And those moves... I loved how elegant she was while doing something regular and on daily basis like putting on her glasses or tucking her hair behind her ears... (No, I'm not in love with her.)
2. Eric. Not so interesting character but he really fits in the family. Being different and a little bit nicer than other people there, he's trying to get away form all the drama and games his friends and family enjoy to plan. Nice try Eric, but even you fell under that pressure in the end.
3. Serena. Of course, the most important member of the big Van Der Woodsen family. Every girl wanted to be the "it" girl like her. No wonder when she is stylish, smart, beautiful and very opened to everyone and everything. She goes after what she wants and that's why people like her. That shyness she sometimes shows with the guys is the cutest and that makes her even more desirable. She was the first one (if you don't count Lily) to accept the poor Humphrey's family member - Dan. She showed them all that money isn't important. Soul is. And love. She had everything I want: beauty, money, courage, power, boyfriend/love (Nate in my case)...

P.S. This is my favorite look from Serena. It was all white party if I'm not mistaking.

Serena, Eric and Lily.

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Turkish enigmas

Hello :)

You already know that I absolutely love TV shows. Especially romantic ones. I'm also a big fan of Turkish shows but I don't know much about their culture and rules of living. That's why I can't understand some things I see. These things caught my eye quite a few times in the shows I watched before, but then I didn't have this blog and I couldn't write about it. Before I write anything, here are some things I would like you to know... I'm not trying to offend anyone with this blog, I'm only trying to understand. And I would really appreciate if someone from Turkey would comment on this. These questions are constantly on my mind while watching their shows. That's why I would like someone form that culture and country to answer my questions. If anyone else knows anything about it, you're very welcome to comment too. Here are my enigmas:

1. What's that white drink that is so popular? Apparently it's some kind of alcohol.
2. Why can't blood and alcohol be shown on TV? Every time someone gets hurt (shot or cut) they blur the wound and all the blood. And almost every glass of alcohol is blurred too. It's TV and a made up show. It's not real, and if it were, that's reality. Every other country shows it...
3. Why is kiss on the mouth such a big deal? I'm watching this one show at the moment so I'll sum up the story. This one guy dated one rich and pretty girl. They were going out all the time, kissed on the mouth all the time, held hands, slept together... They were, what we all call, a normal couple. And then they broke up, he found another girlfriend. I'm not sure if that's important, but she's poor. Anyhow, she was afraid to hold his hand in public for a really long time. Other than that, they kissed on the mouth, I think, only two times. So, it's not that she just doesn't do that, she's ashamed and afraid. Once she tried to kiss him and he asked her if she's sure she wants to do it... I would get if this was a conversation about sleeping together, but this I don't get. And it's not their first kiss so she would be nervous... 
4. Why is honor such a big deal, too? Of course it is, but they would rather kill someone than admit that they failed at something. One family had to move out from their house because it was too big and they couldn't afford it anymore. They said they can't show their faces anywhere anymore. Seriously? It is that important?
5. Why do some women wear hijab (is that the scarf around the head?) all the time, some only when going out and some don't at all? I watched this show where women from the same family obviously had different rules. Or is it just a matter of habit?

I really hope there will be someone who will answer my questions because they're really bothering me... Thanks in advance.

Bye :)

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Questions without answers....

Summer over - take two

Hello :D Missed me? I sure missed writing :)

Since I haven't written in four weeks, I'll make this a planning post. I'll tell you where I have been, what I have done and what I will write about in my next few posts.

Summer is kinda over here. Be aware that I consider summer only time spend at the seaside. So, I've spent four weeks (after those two weeks with my friends) at the seaside with my family. Everything was great. I would love it more if I had any friends there, but it wasn't so bad. There were these guys for a week and a half there so, for a week and a half, I had company. And since I've known those people for almost my whole life, I can't complain about them. Thanks Tommy, Lea and Allan for keeping me company. And for the car. And for taking me to a concert with you. And especially I thank Tommy for that ride in the dark on the bridge. ;) Other than that, I had a hard time spending lots of time with my father but everything seems better when you're swimming in the most beautiful sea there is. Spending the summer with my mother and father in my twenties isn't so fun, but I will never give up summer just because I don't have friends there. My parents are kinda boring and lazy so there were only few things we did: solving crosswords, swimming, watching TV and eating. But sea is sea! I also realized that I came out of my shell. It is actually just a small step, but I feel like I concurred the world! Talking to people I just met is a huge step for me. Yep, you know I'm socially awkward. Not much, but the nervousness is visible. Next on, I got a job. It practically fell into my lap. A father's friend called, and I'm starting on Monday! I only hope I won't mess up something with the cash. Otherwise, I'll pay with my small paycheck. I think I should get something more than a $100. It's OK money for a small work and little working hours. It will keep me busy and I won't lose all September on nothing. So, I'm looking forward to it.

And now a bit about my future posts. I promised Gossip Girl reviews. And I'm going to do them, but I'll mix them with my other posts so there won't be ten reviews because not everybody watches shows I like. And I'll make one post about Turkey. About something I see on TV and that really bothers me. Actually I have few questions about that country. That's what I'm sure of I'll write. Other posts will come as the time goes.

Best regards my readers :)

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Summer sunset. Summer is over.

3, 2, 1 - Fight!

Hey.

Do you like watching fights on TV? They have never been my thing. I can't understand why would anyone want to get their face smashed thousand times. I get that it is interesting and great to be in shape so people choose some sport like that. And it is absolutely great to learn self-defense. But to do it professionally... I think it's crazy and stupid. But that's just me. People find some strange satisfaction in it. Look at Cro Cop for example. I love him. I'm proud of him, but I think it's time to stop. Anyhow... Just yesterday I realized that we all fight. All day, every day. We don't get our faces smashed nor we kick somebody else's, but we fight. Emotionally. We fight with ourselves. Our minds, hearts too. And I personally think those fights are the hardest ones. Sure, I'm not going to say physical fights aren't hard and terrible. But when you think about it, bruises and broken bones will heal. Eventually. And yes, most of the times physical fights have some deeper issue, if you don't think about professional fights. But still, those wounds will heal. Wounds on the heart will take much more time to heal. There's nothing like a broken heart. And it is proven that a broken heart actually hurts. You feel real pain. This time I'm not just talking about a broken heart in a romantic way. Everybody can break your heart. Father, brother, friends... You just have to think if they are worth breaking your heart. And then you fight. You have this ongoing fight in your head while your heart pulls you to the other side. It never stops. Only few are lucky enough to know which one to follow. And these are the big stuff. But we fight over little ones too. How many times couldn't you decide whether to buy black or brown bag. It's nothing, I know, but it still makes you wonder. It makes you choose. And to do that, you have to fight yourself. I obviously have deeper issue here, so I ask you: Does it ever stop? When will I stop fighting? Normally, I would say to somebody to confront it and deal with what ever it's bothering them. I can't do that. If only would I start listening to my own advises. But no. I'll just wait in silence for better days. Don't forget that we always fight. Goal is to win without casualties. Sounds stupid? Think again! I really hope you're one of the few I mentioned before. It's funny how I want you all to have a great life and I don't even know you. Heart is a miraculous device, right?

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Try to survive, will you?

Gossip Girl review

Hello :)

Yesterday I finally finished watching Gossip Girl show. After 6 seasons I could say that I got to know the characters, their lives... You know how that goes when you get addicted to some TV show. Well, I never thought I would get this addicted since I started watching it only because I saw Chace Crawford there and I really didn't have anything else to watch at the time. However, after all these episodes, I have an opinion on everything. I started this pretty general but I assure you, I'll write everything I think about this. And, of course, I will write chapters about every member of the cast I think it is relevant. I'm going to start by saying that I wish I had their lives in some aspects of it. I want Blair's strength, Serena's style, Nate's good heart and honesty, Chuck's bravery and confidence... We all could use some of the characteristics from the show. Since I'm planning on writing more than just one post about this show, I really hope I won't bore to death all of you who don't watch it. I can tell you my plans right now. This post will contain just general opinions, but I do have in mind to write one post about every family and one (the next one) about general impression and thoughts about the show. You could call this one an intro. So, without further ado...

1. Best style: Serena! And Nate too.
2. The most persistent: Chuck!
3. Most class: Eleanor! And Lilly.
4. Worst villain: Bart
5. Most annoying role: Georgina
6. Best relationships:  Nate and Jenny. Nate and Sage. Nate and Serena.
7. Worst characters to bring in the show: Bart (after his death), Georgina, Asher
8. Nicest ones: Nate, Rufus, Eleanor, Cyrus
9. Best scenes: Nate's happiness. All of the Chuck and Nate's friendship. Rufus and Lilly.
10. Prettiest faces on the show: Nate and Vanessa

Before you write anything in the comments, these are my opinions. You don't have to like them. And I know it may come as a surprise that I don't like Blair and Chuck's relationship that much, but I'll get to that in some other post. And, as you can see, my favorite character is Nate... ;)

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Xo xo, Gossip Girl!

Singing in the rain

Hey. :)

Have you ever watched the movie? "Singing in the rain" is an old musical comedy film. Not important here actually, but I'm glad my friend made me watch it. At least now I know where does the term come from. And it's great that I do because I can really relate to it. Today I decided to do some errands in the city. (I'm sorry I can't tell you more. You'll find out on Wednesday.) I don't know have I mentioned that we have awfully lot of rain here considering it's summer. However, temperatures are ideal for my favorite outfits: jeans, sneakers and a T-shirt. So, obviously, I went with that today. And I think I looked pretty great. Everything was in place: accessories, hair, colors of the clothes... I was walking on the main city square, buying some things I needed, carrying fresh bought flowers when I felt some drops on my skin. I thought there's nothing to worry about so I decided to go around one building to get to the other store. There was a shorter way to it, but I was in a store that is placed in that same building. And right when was I about to go out I saw the cutest construction worker ever. The funny/weird/great part was that we caught each others look and looked away. As I turned around to walk out, I saw his reflection in a mirror. He was still looking at me. So I smiled. And he smiled too. And that's why I chose the longer way to the other store. Because he was outside in the alley (the store has a back door). Something in me made me want to see him again. I honestly don't know why because I know myself and I know I certainly wasn't expecting anything. And now I have to return to my story... In the meantime rain started falling like crazy and, because I was taking the longer way, I got so wet I didn't even care anymore. I saw people running and actually screaming (I couldn't believe somebody is so afraid of the rain). But not me. I was strolling along the square. I even caught myself smiling more than just a few times. I was genuinely happy. And more than just once, I started singing. Quietly, but I did. It was a beautiful love song. And I just walked, soaked with water, with wet hair and soaked sneakers. Now, that's something I would usually try to avoid because it's in human nature to avoid being wet in the rain, but today it just didn't bother me. And for those half an hour, or maybe a bit more, I was happy. Without a care on my mind. I think we all should experience more moments like this. And, in case you were wondering what was the song, it was "Bez tebe" by E.T. (Without you, by Electro Team).

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A shot from the movie...

Back for a week

Hello you all :) Missed me?

As the title says, I'm back for only a week. My summer isn't over yet. Wanna hear how my vacation with my friends went? Since I chose my roommates, I can't complain about the company. I love those people and they're my best friends, so as far as the fun goes, I had plenty of it. I hope they feel the same... Now, I can't say anything bad about my time there with them before I talk to them. I don't want them to read anything they haven't heard first hand. I'm not sure is there anything to say, but just in case, I'll keep it quiet. What I'm the most proud of is the fact that I made some legit meals and lunches. I can't say I really learned how to cook, but I can obviously survive on my own for two weeks. Maybe longer, but this is proven... Next on, I love the fact that my friends love taking pictures. Posing or not, we have hundreds of photos. Some would say that's too much or even crazy, but we love photographing our moments together and creating memories. I can't wait for D. to send me photos. It will take her at least two weeks before she does that (she's not at home), so I'll die in the meantime... The weather was great, and that one night we thought was apocalypse, we had so much fun trying to survive it. Since I'm shy and uncomfortable in my own body, I'm really happy I found people that won't judge or mock me for anything. And that's why I always choose them as my companions. There's actually not much to say about my vacation. All can be sad in just few words: fun, food, sleep, swim. That's all I needed and all a vacation should be.

P.S. I just realized that keeping my real profile secret, I'm actually not able to tell you everything I wanted...

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Wannabe art photographer...

Now this looks like a fairy tale....