29 November, 2013

Early Christmas time?

Hi buddies :)
I hope you enjoyed music from the last post. I'm listening to it right now and I'm amazed again. Over and over. "Good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." - Bob Marley. Man's got a point. Except when the song reminds you of someone/something... Than it brings out more memories than anything. All in all, I just wanted to say: Enjoy music!
And now onto my topic. I was in the center of my city, on the main square. You can see, smell and feel Christmas coming. I'm not one of those persons who like to celebrate Christmas two months earlier and I don't really like the fact that the whole city is decorated in the beginning of November, but, I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday. And everything seems prettier and more peaceful. The streets are beautiful. We're just waiting for snow to start falling. Hopefully it will begin soon. I always want a "white Christmas". And, as much as I love this time of the year, I hate it too. Why? Presents people, presents! I have no money (I'm not working) and I have a family to buy presents for. And even if I had money, I never know what to buy. I love Christmas shopping, though. There's just something about walking in shopping centers with all those decorations, and you see Christmas stuff everywhere. And you want to buy everything! For yourself, for your family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend. I almost bought a hundred of things today for no reason and mostly useless stuff, just pretty. Money is the biggest problem of our age, I believe. We have ideas but we can't realize them. The best thing is to make something. Or buy something that connects you to that certain person. Nothing big. Believe me, they'll appreciate it more. They don't say "something from your heart" for nothing.
Decorated shopping mall
Beautiful shop window 

28 November, 2013

New discoveries :)

Ola amigos :)
(Read the first part and listen to all the songs. If you want to know more about every video continue reading after links. Thanks.)
Have you ever been happy for discovering some great video or a song? I'm sure you have. And today I'm happy for that same reason. I just saw one video by a group Pentatonix. They are an a cappella group of five vocalists - Scott Hoying, Kirstie Maldonado, Mitch Grassi, Avi Kaplan and Kevin Olusola. Scott is a cutie, Kirstie is gorgeous and Kevin is great. Mitch and Avi are also very good but, as you know, there are almost always some persons you like better in a group. But the five of them are great together. And they're a cappella!!! How amazing is that? While listening to them, you really have the feeling that some instruments are used, but no! It's all them. They began with three friends that grew up together: Kirstin, Mitch and Scott. Then Scott met Avi, and they found Kevin on Youtube. The group won the third season of The Sing-Off on NBC, singing an a cappella arrangement of "Eye of the Tiger" which you have to listen to. I also saw a bunch of videos and great singers today on Youtube. I started with this one song and, an hour later, I was amazed by all the things I've seen. There are so many great people with great voices and talents and nobody know them. That's a shame! As I started writing this, I remembered that I've heard some great songs in the past few days. You can hear all of them lower in the post...
Little drummer boy blew me away. It's so simple bus so passionate and lively. Video is, again, so simple but perfect for this song and for them.
I love Whitney and there's nobody like her but Ashly is her worthy successor.
I foud Yuridia through some talent show. Some little girl was singing this and I immediately fell in love with it. This is not original version but I like this one better.
I first heard Theme sarabande in TV Show called Adini Feriha Koydum (I named her Feriha). And I was asking everybody if they know that melody but nobody did. I found it accidentally when I saw some commercial for shoes or basketball, I don't even remember. The important thing is that now I can listen to it all day long! So peaceful...
This song by Simply red is so old but so great. It's not a new discovery, like my title says, but is worth listening.
Lines and colours are new band and I think this is their first single. It's great!! And video is good to. So much effort put in just some lyrics. Great job!
Depend on you... What to say? Old and great!
I only ask of God... Religious, inspiring. Love the end on Spanish (I think.)
Attraction (1 and 2) is a group of people playing with their shadows. They tell amazing stories just by their movement. Absolutely a must see!
So this is it. This much form me today. Enjoy Youtube and my links. Have a great day/night :)
(P.S. Andrea welcome to your homeland :*)

27 November, 2013

What matters in life?

Hi everyone. 
It's me again. Have you ever wondered what life really is? Is it just moving from point A to point B, no matter how or why? Or, is it a beautiful journey with ups and downs? I believe it's the other one. Everybody forgets the word "beautiful" because we often see only the bad part of it. And we hold on to it. Why are we all like that? I'm not a vengeful person but I can remember all the bad things that anyone did to me in the middle of the night. I also remember the fun times, times when a certain person was good to me and I really try to concentrate on that, but it's not the same. Feelings associated with bad memories are stronger, that's proven. And in this tough world we need as much good feelings and moments as we can get. We need to make somebody else's life better too. With small things. These are the ones that count. Like, for instance, today I got my test results. Math test. I passed. And I'm happy, of course. But I was even happier when I read a text message from Mr. M. saying "congratulations, you did great in math". (These are not his exact words due to translation but that's pretty close...) And then I saw the list. So he saw it, looked for my results, and sent it to me saying practically that he's proud or something like that. It's pretty great feeling knowing that somebody thinks about you. In any way. And my "friends" haven't sent anything. I haven't sent anything to anybody either but I wasn't home the whole day and I just saw this half an hour ago. And he sent me this message somewhere in the early afternoon. The weird thing is, when I opened that file, I looked for his results first. It was more important at the time. I'm sure he didn't do the same, but I knew that I did good. He told me, and he wouldn't joke about something that serious. I think. He passed to, but I passed with an A, and he passed with a D. I congratulated him as well. It's not easy to pass this. And I tried as much as I could not to sound like I'm bragging. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings. I hope he'll see it the way I sent it. Only with true positive thoughts. (I wanted to write "with love" but that would be too much...)
So, I told you this so you could see that just a simple text message can make your whole day. Send somebody a message now! Ask somebody how was their day!
Love, consideration, friendship, happiness!!

26 November, 2013

Try to understand!

Hi everyone. 
I hope you had a better day than I did. Fifteen hours outside my warm home, twelve hours in collage (I'm not exaggerating), six hours of math, two tests, wind blowing like crazy, temperature near zero. Compete with that! But, I wanted to get back to my last post. I just read it completely and I thought I could say something to backup my story. As I said before, I know that while reading this blog you could get very wrong picture of me. I'm not that person that always sits in the corner and is in heaven when somebody talks to me. Although, that's fine too. If you're shy, you're shy. Don't let anyone judge you! I am extremely happy that I found friends so quick in collage. That's why I'm sharing my first coffee and my wink situation with you. I just wondered if you laughed at me while reading the last post? Cause if you did, that's your opinion and I respect it but you have to think about every person out there who is exactly like me. They may be close to you, and you don't even know it. For example, I have two best best best friends and I love them so much but only one of them knows my "love story" and she found out about it very accidentally. Some things are easier to share with someone unknown, like I share my thoughts here with you, than with someone you actually hang out with. You really don't have to be like me, or anyone else, but you have to at least to try to understand everybody's point of view. Walk a mile in somebody's shoes, than you have the right to say something!! Have a good night Europe! :) (The rest of the world, have a nice whatever part of the day there is) ;)
Very important thing in life!!

25 November, 2013

Oh, what's that? :)

Hi guys :)
If you've known me you'd be pretty happy for me. I dare to say proud. Cause I am, of myself. Today was a pretty good day. Mr. M. winked at me in class. And yes, I do realize that I'm about turn myself into the most lame person that ever walked the face of the Earth but, believe me, I'm not the only one. I'm just the one who's saying it. Anonymously, but I'm still saying it. He winked at me for no reason. And it felt great to catch him looking at me when I looked at him. Perfect moment. He winked, I smiled. And we left it to that. We didn't do anything else to ruin that. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but it felt nice. I can really say that, for the first time in my life, a guy did something that made me happy, that made my heart pump faster and I'm not "in love" with him. Feels great to know that I finally learned to read my emotions. I don't know how long this feeling will last but I'm happy. Just happy. Period. Also, I had my first boy and girl coffee today. It was just me and Mr. T. No one else. And I was expecting something more but I think it went well. He shared some pretty private information with me. I'm not really sure if he tells them to everyone or not, but I'm glad that he felt comfortable enough to share them with me. We weren't having a long coffee because he was waiting for his class but this hour and a half was good. Better than good. And to conclude this day, I texted Mr. M. I asked him something, than he needed my help and, as you know it's really hard to explain something on Facebook, we agreed to study tomorrow. If he asks me. I won't be the one in his face offering my knowledge. :D If he needs something, he'll ask. I hope. And at the end of our conversation (he went to study again, yep, a nerd :P) he sent me a kiss. And yes, I do know that friends send each other kisses and hearts, but my heart is prepared this time. What ever happens. And if you don't believe me... Maybe you can't see anything useful in this picture but I know... Yes, I returned the kiss. I tell you guys, be happy. Seize the day. For love, for friendship, for good. You'll be much happier. This may seem like nothing to you, but this all made my day... Small things. Enjoy :*
Facebook kiss :*

I better make it right!
Be happy, be a child :)

24 November, 2013

Think about it...

Good evening everyone. How was your day?
My day was good, actually better than good but not great. If you know what I mean... As I told you yesterday, I wasn't studying at all. My plan was to do it today, but, of course, I didn't do anything. Am I the only one who studies two hours before test? I just can't do it any other way. But, I saw some examples of the tests used in previous years and I think I can solve them all. I tried and two of them were very easy. Tomorrow I'll see the other two. I have no time now because I'm watching a movie "Broken arrow". Have you heard of it? Also, I've sent a few more messages to Mr. M. Going great so far, hopefully we'll be friends. I also tried that new Glow-in-the-dark nail polish. And it's not working. Essence is one of my favorite make-up brands but this is a total disappointment. And, as I have no inspiration right now but I didn't want to leave you without a post today, I was wondering... What do you think about larger persons? You know what I mean. Fat ones... Do people actually stare at them? I have the feeling that all eyes are always on me. And it's awful. If you haven't been in our shoes, don't be mean. Think about other people's feelings!!
Mean Girls

23 November, 2013

Maybe, just maybe, for once...

Just for information, this post will be longer than usual. I'm depressed. My day was awful. It started pretty good, it's weekend and I decided to take a day off. I'm not studying today. Never mind the consequences. I have two big tests next week but I'm dead tired. I can't do anything. So, I watched my favorite show at the moment (Adini Feriha Koydum/I named her Feriha) and I was in bed the entire morning. It felt great. And then, of course, something had to ruin my heaven... Meet my dad. We had a huge fight over some stupid thing and now, few hours later, we're acting like everything's OK. Well, it's not. I'll write a new post just about that topic about my father because I think there are a lot of people who are not getting along with their families. I could write about that every day... Unfortunately... But, there's also a bright side to this day. So I hope. For a few days now, I've been talking to this guy... Talking... I mean texting on Facebook. He's nice. Although we have been mostly talking about collage and studying, we have some things in common. I'm waiting for the right moment to ask him something personal, something to connect us. Not a big deal, just to maybe become friends. My heart has been confused for the most of my life. When I read my diary it seems I have been in love 500 times. Every guy that talked to me was the love of my life. It's crazy, I know. And I realized that about two days after I "fell in love". And I never learned that feeling isn't true. Of course, every guy "broke my heart". And felt stupid every time. How could I think that way? Well, you've seen me in the story before about Mr. T. and Miss D. I am not normal. I think I'm that way because I never had a guy friend. A real friend. I talk to them only when I find myself in their presence and about school/collage. Never about something private. Not even about what they did during weekend. And I'm changing that. I'm in collage, I need to change my life for the better. If I don't do it now, I probably never will... So, I don't think this guy, Mr. M., thinks of me as a friend yet, but I hope he thinks I'm nice, polite, maybe even funny and worth talking to. Obviously. :) The only problem is that we don't talk in person. Only if we're somewhere alone, if we run into each other in the hallway or something like that. It's because he hangs out with two guys I don't talk to and we've actually never met. But we act like we did and, if necessary, we can talk but only a sentence or two about collage. And I hang out with the girls he doesn't talk to. That's a big problem if you think about it. You know how it is... You can't just start talking to someone without any rumours. And now I'm thinking how to start a conversation. I can't even sit next to him because everybody knows where is who. It's complicated. I won't be stupid this time. I know we won't be in love after two days. I'm giving it all the time in the world. Maybe we'll be best friends, maybe we'll be just friends, maybe we'll be in a relationship and maybe we won't be anything. But I'm going to try. Nobody died of trying. Hopefully I won't be the first one. ;)
Girl thinking of a boy...

22 November, 2013

New look...

Hi everyone. I'm back :) Did you miss me? 
This is going to be short post but I wanted to introduce you to the new look I just made. The background is black and yellow with bees cause, after all, this blog is named Beehive, and my name is Honey. I think it suits my blog well. I've also changed the background of my posts so they would be easier to read (thanks Andrea for your suggestion). My only concern is the color of the title of the post. It's white on bright background. How does it look? Can you read that? Also, I've noticed that you are very shy when it comes to commenting my posts (although I've set it so you could comment as an anonymous). Only for you, I made something like a poll. Under every post you can choose between various options to describe my post. So do it. Please. It will help me understand you and I'll improve if you don't like it. However, have in mind that all you read here are my feeling and my opinions. Have fun reading my blog. Have a nice day. :)

20 November, 2013

She stole... I'm mad at...

Hi everyone. 
First, I would like to say: happy Children's Day!! Yes, that really exists and it's today. :) 
I was wondering... Why nobody comments anything? I've put settings so you can easily comment as anonymous. No registration, no name, no E-mail. So, what's the problem? 
But anyway... You know the story with Miss D. and Mr. T.? No? Read "Starting something new..." Yes? So, it continues... I can't believe that I have no luck in area of friendships and maybe love... You know I was the one who started talking to everybody first? I mean, before her. Miss D. was in my shadow, and I don't mean that in a bad way. She was just more quiet, more reserved. And I liked her that way. She was normal, polite to everyone, social when needed, just normal... And then she changed. For the worse... It's so sad to watch that. She is moving in a flat close to Mr. T., even though she found a cheaper one and closer to our collage, and they are "studying" 8 hours for the test that has 5 pages to learn for. And the worst part is that she has changed with me. I don't have anything against them together or not together, but she ignores me just because of him. When we're alone, she's great to me. When anybody else is around us, she totally shouts me out. And I'm pissed. And mad. At her. And at myself. Why haven't I tried harder to maintain my position? Why wasn't I more sociable? What did I do wrong? So many negative questions and no answers... If you'd known me, you would know that I'm not attention whore and that's not the problem. What makes people change completely just for someone to like him/her? That's not the same person anymore...

19 November, 2013

So proud!!

In the beginning I would just like to ask you if you like the new design of my blog? Share your ideas with me, please.
And now... I'm so so so proud of my country. Of our national football team. We just won a game against Iceland and we're going to Brasil for world's championship. I'm not some kind of freak and I do not make people like it but I like to emphasize that I love my country. The truth is, I always wanted to be a soldier. There's just something about it that makes my heart pump faster. I probably will never apply for it because I'm too scared but that's my secret wish since about 3 years ago... I had a chance to apply this summer but I never did. And my chance is opened for the next summer but I don't believe I'll do anything about it. Fear is a very powerful thing. You know that feeling when your whole country stands up for something? For the same reason? We are living that right now. We are celebrating our victory!! And it feels great! There's nothing better than seeing everybody so happy in times like this, even just for a moment. Football is obviously a powerful thing too. So so proud! Great job guys!!
P.S. No disrespect to Island national team, great job in the first game but you had no chance today ;)
Croatian flag, football national team, Mario Mandzukic, Davor Suker 1998., Darijo Srna (captain)

18 November, 2013

It's nice to see...

Just to finish my craziness over these tests... I wrote one today. It was good, but awful. So stressful and you are never sure if your numbers are correct but, then again, it all looks so familiar. So, who knows? I may pass, I may flunk. (Is this the correct way of saying it?) But... Enough with that. I'll just wait another week for the results. I find very interesting to watch people watch each other. I was standing and waiting for traffic light to turn green. There was a cute girl, really natural and somehow happy looking, also waiting for the green light. And, of course, there they were, boys. Three of them. One really nerdy one, one I'm-the-best-in-the-world-and-the-prettiest-and-the-smartest-guy-ever-and-every-girl-falls-for-me-and-I-play-it-cool and one boy from the neighborhood, very casual. He looked like he was from some cool neighborhood. Not that important for the story, just saying. And all three of them were looking at her. Because she was kinda glowing. This nerdy one looks at her and looks away immediately. He is obviously very shy. And that's fine. The-prettiest-and-the-best-in-everything guy was leaned on the semaphore and was checking her out. From head to toe. And, of course, he gave her his seducing smile. She looked at the nerd and he blushed. He was literally frozen. Cocky one caught her eyes and saluted. Because he's cool. She just rolled her eyes. The hood boy saw everything. He thought how stupid this guy is. He showed that with his gestures. She saw that and smiled at him. Then the light went green. Everybody started to move. The two of them looked at each other one more time. And their day was better. It's great to see how little things can make your day.

17 November, 2013

To make peace with destiny and cry?

Ola :)
As you all know, I have been preparing for some huge tests. How's it going? It's not. I'm terrible at organizing my time and it's Sunday evening already and I haven't done anything. The worst part is, I've been doing something for the whole weekend and there are no results. You know that feeling? And now, I'm on Facebook complaining how I don't have enough time. But, what comforts me, most of my friends are there too so that means that they are not doing anything either. Maybe they are done but they said that they're not and I believe them. I may be a sucker, but I believe almost anything that people say to me. I guess, I don't expect them to lie. They have no reason to do that with me. I hope they feel the same way. And now to a crying part... I really don't know how it works in your collage but we have two smaller tests in a semester and one enormous. If you pass these two smaller ones you don't have to write the big one. Of course, everybody is trying to pass smaller ones because there are only a few people who passed the big one. And now, this is my first "small" test and, how my dear friend would say, I know nothing. Help me people! What do I do?!? Now, I'm depressed and I have to go eat. :D
Bon appeite! (And now I'm really hungry.)


Hiii everybody. :D

It's 00:57 in my country so I'll keep it short. I'm just so excited that I had to tell you something right away. Another one of my wishes just came true!! I was at a concert of one of my favorite singers - Marko Perkovic Thompson. I know you probably haven't heard of him. He sings all patriotic songs and he is GREAT !!!!!! I love him so much. I even got the chance to take a picture with him. If you have no idea how I feel, imagine that you are Belieber or Directioner and you take a picture with JB or 1D. Do you get it now? Take your favorite celebrity and imagine if he/she talked to you, took a picture... :D I have nothing else to write about. I'm overwhelmed. I usually have a bunch of pictures and videos after some big concert like that but today I took only a few pictures. I couldn't think about that, I was singing and dancing and feeling great :D. I tell you, it was magical. God, I love my country. God, I love music. God, thank you for this night. And Thompson, you too <3
Marko Perković Thompson (old photo)

15 November, 2013

Just saying hello and thank you :)

This is going to be very short post. I just wanted to thank everybody who's reading my blog. I hope you like it. I saw that I have readers from Greece so this is a big wow for me. Thank you. Hi to Slovenia too :*. Also to all German (Deutsch) readers: Viel dank :* (I studied German, I hope that's correct :P) Ich bin froh, dass es euch gefällt. (Yes, this is from Google translate, I had a terrible German teacher...). And of course, thanks to my American readers. You should understand everything I write :). Comment everything you want and write me if you have some topics you would like me to write about. Thanks again, it means a lot. :*
Universal language
To all the others, thank you :*

Being optimistic

Today's a good day. Nothing special happened, I'm just happy for no reason. I started my day by listening to some music on my way to collage. Music can really change your mood in a second. Have you noticed it? When I came to college, I saw all familiar faces, mostly happy faces and they made me happy. I had a period of rage that lasted for about half an hour because of Miss D. but I said to myself: It's just not worth it! She is playing dumb so boys would like her. I don't want anybody to think I'm stupid, that's not cute. What do you think? Guys? I should be stressed out about all my exams but I'm not. I think I'm smart, at least I can learn something in really short time. I've never had problems with that, so far. I can't change anything in couple of hours so why bother? You may think now that I'm not normal for being so calm but life's too short to spend it on worries. At least, I'm that mood now. Here's my advice: Put on a smile, go out and make somebody's day! That's the simplest thing you can do and it feels great! So... I gave you all positive thoughts and now I'll go cry over my future. :D I really need to go and study. Exams are not going to pass themselves. Or maybe...? ;) Have a great day.
One disco ball for you, have fun!

14 November, 2013

Stressed out -.-"

Hello everybody :)
Do you ever feel like you're gonna collapse due to all things you need to do? That's how I feel right now. I have 4 exams next week and few really big homework. It may seem that I have enough time, it's 3 days away, but that's nothing. I am really panicking about that. I'm terrible at organizing my time. That's why I always study few hours before the test or the night before. It was working just fine in school, but not in collage, apparently. I should be studying right now and I can't bring myself to actually doing it. I'm listening to some music (Superwoman by Alicia Keys), reading articles on the Internet, writing this blog... I'm doing everything I shouldn't be doing. And my biggest fear is that I'm going to fail my exams. Then I'll have to go to the really big exam that I know I won't pass because nobody ever did. What should I do?? Study? Yes, but I won't. I know myself. You know that feeling when school gets so boring you can't even look at the pictures in books? I constantly have that feeling. The only thing on my mind is that if I fail any of these exams, my year in collage is most likely wasted. And it will all be my fault. I don't know how's in your collage/school but I hope you have more luck. Study people, study! It will pay off one day. So they say... I have nothing else to say. Wish me luck. Talk to you tomorrow.

13 November, 2013

Do you ever miss the past?

Hi :)
Do you? Ever? I'm only 18 years old and even I miss it. It's such a shame that kids these days won't know how it feels to play outside in dirt with best friends. All they do now is sit in front of TV or computer. I went for a walk few months ago and when I was coming back I was too tired to walk. I took a tram and there they were. Few, 5 or 6, kids, the oldest one was about 10-12 years old. They all had iPhones and cigarettes in their pockets. I was just staring at them, I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. They were all doing something on their phones, probably looking at their profile pictures with duck faces on Facebook. Nobody was talking and yet, everybody was swearing. They said some things I have never heard of. Thank God. And their wardrobe? I think most of the girls in the group has mistaken T-shirt for a dress. Boys were just boys with their pants almost dragging on the floor. And now I wonder, what will my kids be like? Will they skip their childhood and go straight to being adult? And, if I may add, really disrespectful, rude and slutty dressed adult. As a 90's and early 00's kid, I played with my older brother and his best friend. We were playing war, some Playstation games (but only if it was raining), we had all different kinds of cars, action figures, Indians and cowboys... Legos, how could I forget about Legos?! We were having fun! And I miss it. I miss playing in the snow, running for no reason in out backyard, playing football and basketball even though I had no idea how to play it, and sill, nobody was angry with me. I know I'm young, but do you ever think about what kind of life will next generations have?
P.S. I just want to emphasize that this all is just my opinion. OK? I don't mean to insult anybody. Have a nice day :)

12 November, 2013

My wish has come true, one so far...

Hello people :)
In all my high school experience I wanted to be visible. To be somebody people will know. Not necessarily popular person by the definition, just somebody who will enjoy their time in school because of friends. I was always the shy one, I said nothing until I got really really comfortable with someone. I could talk to everybody, I could really find topics with everybody to talk to, I just never did. Or I did, very rarely. My class really needed school trips. After every trip we became like a family, but that faded away during some holidays. In the fourth grade (seniors) I became more popular in my class. People needed my notebooks and my notes before big tests (not to brag, but I was the smart one). And I was fine with it. I knew they are not my real friends but I was still happy. I'm always happy if I can help someone. I started talking to people, I got to know most of them, the real them. I felt really good, but we still weren't that good to go out every Saturday together, to go on coffees, in the movies... And I was fine with that too. I'm still in touch with some of them on daily bases. I'm also trying to get in touch with everybody else just to remain some kind of communication, to see where they are and what's new. Now, in collage, I'm getting use to that feeling I never had. I'm a part of something. I'm getting dinner (sandwiches on some kind of a kiosk) with a guy friend (will call him Mr. F.), I'm teasing one guy (Mr. T.) that he owes me coffee, teaching some guys how to do braids just for fun... This all may seem lame to you and not a big deal, but if you had just walked a few inches in my shoes, you would know how strong feeling I have about all of this. By the way, I figured it out why it is that I hate Miss D. I'm jealous. And that's fine cause I don't desperately need a boyfriend like she do (or most of the girls I know), I need friends. Someone to hang with. And I think I'm on the right path to find them.

11 November, 2013

Today's a new day :)

Hi everybody. :)
Today I saw that somebody actually reads this blog and I'm so thankful for that. Again, fell free to comment everything because my real friends have no idea that I'm writing this and they can't help me with my problems that I share here. I just wanted to let you know how my day went. I talked to that guy... You already know him... Let's call him Mr. T. We laughed together, we made some inside jokes... I had a great time today in collage in spite of this awful weather in my country. So, there's not much to say about this today except that bit*h (let's call her) Miss D. acted like a weirdo. But, I guess, that's not new... I wanted to share with you my love for pets. Do you like them? I'm a real dog person. I would like to have thousands of them, only if I could. Little fluffy ball of fur. My mom is so against them because we live in a flat and she thinks it's impossible to have an animal inside of our living space. Chow-chow or pomsky or husky or rottweiler... I love them all. I have a german shepherd at my grandma and grandpa's place but that's not the same... I can't pet him every day. I'm currently trying to persuade my parents to buy a chow-chow dog, but it's not really working. It hasn't been working since 2005. And it feels awful. What breed do you like the most? I'm opened for every suggestion. God, I would like to talk to someone who won't judge me, I would like to have someone who will love me as I am. Simply, I would like a dog. ;)
Chow chow
Alaskan malamute (similar to husky)

10 November, 2013

Starting something new (3)

Hi. To continue my story...
I still went to the party. I went with my other new friend and her roommate. I was feeling pretty down but that didn't stop me. I was determined that I'll have fun, maybe become closer to some other people. When we walked into the club, I saw nobody familiar. Later, as I passed by some of my new "friends", they turned their head away from me. I was crushed. In that moment THAT guy saw me, came and he grabbed my hand, started to pull me through the crowd. I was feeling more alive than ever. (If you knew me, you'd know that this is the first time that this has ever happened to me.) I actually wasn't expecting anything more than friendly "Hi" and chat, but... My heart was really pumping fast. We walked out, I saw that girlfriend of mine. She was (acting) drunk. They seemed to be very very close, like a new couple. I was sad, but happy for him at the same time. After only few minutes, she was flirting with everybody, with his friends in front of him. He was furious but acting cool. I noticed the change in his eyes. We talked through most of the party, I was trying to calm him down, distract him. We all (group of 7) left the party in dawn, he was still mad, she was still all over those guys. We split up as some of us went home for notebooks and immediately went to collage. The other ones stayed on coffee before class. At 8 o'clock we met again in collage hall. The two of them were all over each other. What the hell happened? She was acting like a slut (with his friends! and everybody else) and he got over it in a second? I wonder what she has said to him to make it all OK... And again: Is it really about the looks?

Starting something new (2)

In our country every new generation in collage has it's party. It's like a welcome to hell, I mean collage, party. Normally, I wouldn't go because there was nobody I knew, nobody I could hang out with and I'm not a type of person that just meets new people every second. But, I said to myself: If you don't go now, nobody will notice you, this is your chance. And I went. I prepared more mentally than physically. I was going alone. Now, I knew that all my new "colleagues" were going to be there but we are just not close enough yet. You know how it is. New surrounding, new people, awkward silences. Later, I was about to make plans with that girlfriend of mine (I mentioned her in previous post). She replied (to my text, of course), that she's going to meet up earlier with that guy (I was becoming friends with, also in previous post). They were going together. In the moment I read that text, I felt a heavy stone falling on my chest. Real pain. I can't even describe it. I guess my heart was broken that day as I have never felt like this before. Was that great feeling I had falling in love? God, why it couldn't be me? I ask you the same question. I was the one who he has met first, I, in fact, introduced them. Obviously, a big mistake. I was the one who talked to him every day, we laughed together. Now, I know that not everybody that talk to someone has to be in a relationship but she has never spoken a word with him until like two days before that party. Is it really just about the looks? Her being prettier than me? To be continued...

09 November, 2013

Starting something new (1)

Hi :) How's your day so far? I hope you're happy.
So, I wanted so share something with you :)) There's this guy at my collage, in my group. I've met him more than a month ago. He had already had friends there and I was alone. Than I made some friends and I was happy. I've really put myself out there like never before. I used to be a really really really shy person. I still am, just not as much. And he seemed a bit arrogant and was one of the "cool guys". He still is. We all know them. And me? I'm somewhere in the middle. I've met this girl and we were starting to become friends, we're very much alike. But we are still not that close that I would tell her my secrets or my deepest wishes. So, I started talking to this guy, just friendly chats in classes, not a big deal. And I realized that he's not so bad after all. I was telling my friends that he's nice and funny, nothing more. And there really wasn't anything more. And I was fine. I was happy to have a guy friend. Because of shyness, my history of relationships of any kind isn't that bright. Every once in a while, I said something nice about him to that girlfriend of mine. She nodded her head because she knew it was true. Then she started to change. She was really weird around him but I haven't said anything.
(...) There's more about this story, in another post. Stay tuned.
P.S. This is not to keep you in suspense, I just don't want to make huge posts and than lose your concentration. 

08 November, 2013


Hi everyone. This is my first blog post ever. I hope you'll like it and you'll recommend my "diary" to your friends. For starter, I would like to say something about myself. For you, I'm Honey. I started collage this year. I'm just an ordinary teenage girl trying to survive in this world. While I was listening to some of my peers, I figured that I could make a blog about my thoughts. We all, more or less, think alike. Maybe you think that nobody gets you, nobody feels what you feel... I probably do if you feel rejected and insecure. Cause that's me. I put on a smile but we all know it's a mask. We all wear it. Most of the time with all kinds of different people. I don't want to scare you off, this blog won't be all depressing. I do have happy moments. Mostly, I'll write about guys :). There will also be something about school (elementary and high school), collage, family, friends, love... Hopefully you'll stick around long enough to get to know my world. In the end, be happy :*