21 January, 2015

The saddest day of my life

As you can see by the title, today is the saddest day of my life. I know I'm in a really bad mood some times, and I cry and you all know about it. But today a piece of me died. I was at a funeral. I went to funerals before, to my family members (not close ones, thank God), but I was never as sad as I was today. I had to say goodbye to my elementary school teacher. It's been few years since I last saw him. I planned to visit school but I never found the time. And now I'm so sorry. I'll never have the chance to talk to him again, to laugh with him. I know this will maybe sound like too much emotions for a teacher, but he is worth it. I only had him in the first four grades, he had us every day for four hours before our parents didn't pick us up. So we didn't actually do anything with him, we just had fun. He was extraordinary. Everybody agreed that he was not a typical teacher. There was something different about him. Different, but very good. He loved his job, he loved the kids like they were his own. It was amazing to spend every day with him. He was the one who thought me how to play chess, he was the one who thought me how to play basketball, he was the one who took care of my first wound. I still have the scar on my hand and it will always remind me of a beautiful human being that I once knew. He was the one who told me that I am worthy when I cried at school because some people laughed at me. I went to his exhibits with my family. He was very passionate about his pottery that it actually became a tradition. Before Christmas, my school would have "A pottery day" where he would present his work and he did something in front of everybody. He loved to spend time on one island of Croatia. it was always hard for him to leave it, but he was the happiest when he saw children's faces in school. I never saw him sad or angry. He never raised his voice. He was patient, smart, kind, polite. He was really something. In fact, he was everything to us! Everybody knows that he is the most favorite teacher in the school. I hope he had the same impact on others as he had on me. If you needed a role model, he would be the perfect one! The funeral itself was amazing and beautiful (as funerals can be...). There were so many people there, children from his class, people like me who finished elementary school so long ago, friends, family... It was simply beautiful. To mach his soul. So I had to say goodbye to my teacher, to my almost a step father, to my favorite person from childhood. Thank you P.P. Thank you for being there. Thank you for being you. I will always remember you. Love you.
This is for you!

11 January, 2015

Punishing him or myself?

Hello :)
Since I haven't posted anything after New Year, let me wish you all the best in this new year. Let it be filled with joy, wealth, success, love, health...
And now to my story. I had a fight with my brother. And my friend made a good point saying that lately I've been saying this awfully a lot. My brother has this awful habit of waking me up every morning (if I'm not already ready for college, let's say). It doesn't matter to him whether it is Saturday, Sunday, my day off or any other day and situation that I got to sleep a bit longer. I love to sleep, I won't lie. And that's exactly why I hate being woken up. Especially if I went to bed late. And he just doesn't care. He gets up early every day, and that's perfectly fine with me. But then he's bored or something and he wakes me up. Or he just yells, slams the door, hits with the plates till I wake up. And, of course, I'm pissed off then. And he still doesn't get it. And it's not the fact that he wakes me up and ends my few hours of sleep that pisses me off that much. Sure, I would like to sleep, but the fact that he doesn't get it after I told him so many time to stop it is just hurtful. It's like he doesn't respect me at all. I see myself when he's sleeping. I'm quieter than a mouse. I can't understand how he can't understand. And that really hurts. And now we had this "fight" where I've told him that I won't speak to him until he apologizes. I'm not really looking for an apology since we don't do that, but I am waiting for him to understand me. And I want him just to approach first and he can act like nothing happened. I would be perfectly fine with it. I just want him to never do that again unless he has some good reason. And the point it that this silence is probably hurting me more than him. And I don't know how to make things right since, for the first time, I fighting for my self. Baby steps, of course. I want to talk to my brother normally again. It's so weird in the house since we're not talking. So weird. I hope he'll understand some things as he goes away for few days...
If you have similar problems or just regular siblings problems, let me know :)
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