30 December, 2013

Buying on eBay

Good day people :)
I just realized that I haven't posted anything for three days and I apologize for that. I hope it won't happen again.
Do you buy on eBay? Ever? I do. Not that often anymore but I do. Every now and then I buy something for myself, pretty and cheap. I've read somewhere that eBay and pages like that are for lazy people who don't wanna get out of their bed to go shopping. Now, there's something in it too, but I believe that the biggest reason for buying online (especially eBay) are lower prices. I can buy, let's say, a necklace for a dollar on eBay that costs 8 dollars in stores. I don't want to throw away money if I don't have to. I've discovered eBay last year (or the year before) because I really wanted a wrist watch and the one that I wanted was pretty expensive in my country (around 140 dollars). I was desperate for that watch because everyone had them so I wanted one too (Ice Watch, you know). So I bought one for 4 dollars (I think...). And than it all began. So far, I've bought few earrings, necklace, few other watches, cases for my mobile phone, earplugs... I've also been buying stuff for my friends. Books, cases, speakers, batteries, some stuff for cars and motorcycles, USB hubs... A lot of stuff has passed through my eBay account. I can honestly say that in these two last years I've had problems with only two items. Of course, I advise you not to buy expensive stuff. Not over 10 dollars. There's always a chance that you won't receive your ordered item, and than what? It's easier if you don't receive an item that costed 1 dollar than 20 dollars. Isn't it? What are you buying? What kind of experiences you you have with eBay or any other site like that?
I leave you with a few of my bought items... :) Have a nice day...
Watches, necklace and earrings, phone cases, earplugs
Small bag, owl necklace, screen protectors, Ice Watch, Shamballa bracelets

27 December, 2013

Looking better after all

Hi you all :)
I've told you yesterday how my friendship with Mr. M. is going down. I was waiting for time to solve everything. But there are some new events that I need to share with you... He texted me. Out of nowhere. I can't really say that I was jumping of happiness but I was pretty happy to see his name in my inbox list. We're chatting now as before, so, I guess, everything will be OK. I just remembered that I told you (in some previous post) that a single message can change your whole day and mood. It's so true. At least for me. I can honestly say that this day would be so boring and depressing for me if this haven't happened. I'm gonna start to think that God likes me. That can't be, can it? Although, I've seen a new picture of him and his girlfriend. I had to like it on Facebook because they really seem happy and I like happy couples. I was kinda confused should I like it or not, what kind of message I'll send with that like but I did it anyway. You know, you have to realize that almost every like on Facebook means something. If your crush posts something and you like it, it's kinda obvious what it means. But in my situation, I had two options. I could pretend that I've never seen the picture, nobody would know. But I saw it and I know it. So now there was only one option if I really wanna be Mr. M.'s friend. Not liking that picture would be admitting that I'm jealous and I don't want that in my head. So I liked it. I overcame my weirdness and I showed that I can be happy for them. For him. This like will, hopefully, show him that my kisses (I'm not pushy with it, I know my boundaries) in our messages are not that serious, that I like to be in his life as a friend. If you think that I'm kidding myself with this story, I'm not. I don't want to have a confused mind and heart anymore. I love my friends. I'm the best friend someone can have. If they're nice to me. That's all I'm asking.
Now, there are billions of pictures connected to friendship but I've chosen these two. They are so true and I really try to live by them.
Wish you all the best :))
True friendship

26 December, 2013

Not a good news

Hi everyone...
Today I have some bad news but I'll tell you all about it a bit later. Now I have to tell you that I'm working very hard on my "book". (You can read it on this link. New parts are "Everything changes under the surface" 1 and 2.) I know this stories are very short and that one chapter in a book has at least ten pages but, to be fair, I named my book "Short stories". I'm actually thinking about making it into a real book. I will see how it will go from now on. I have some ideas but I don't have the inspiration needed to write a 200-page book. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll read my books for school... And now on to the bad news... I knew it! I knew this separation will be deadly for new friendships. Me and Mr. M. are not even talking these days. I know I'm blowing this out of proportions because we talked until two days ago... Yesterday I sent him a Merry Christmas text like this: "Merry Christmas :) I wish you and your family all the best for holidays :* :)" and he responded: "You too :)". I know he's a guy and most of the guys don't get mushy about this and don't send a lot of smileys but he used to do that. Used to... I mean, he has sent a kiss two or three times and one or two hearts. And if he sends that regularly, he should send something for these occasion. After his message I can't really continue our conversation. There's nothing to say... I feel like I'm annoying him. Maybe I am. I'll stop it for a few days. I'll wish him a happy New year. I really hope he'll see that I'm trying to be his friend. And I also hope that he'll never find out about this blog. I would just die out of shame. God, save me!
Just one more information. Santa Clause was generous this year. What did you get? Again,wishing you a happy holidays, enjoy it :*
Long distance friendship :)

Christmas in the air :)

Merry Christmas

Hi you all :)
I know I'm late with wishing you all the best for Christmas but I wasn't able to post anything yesterday since I wasn't home. I was spending time with my family at my grandma and grandpa's house. So, I honestly wish you all the best for these holidays. I want you to spend it with your family and friends and your closest ones.
P.S. There's going to be another post today, just give me some time. :)
Merry Christmas <,

22 December, 2013

All in one post

Hi you all :)
I wanted to thank you for I've received my 300th blog view. This is a major accomplishment for me since I started all of this just because of one night when I felt like nothing. Really, you have no idea what it means to me that somebody is reading this. Keep on the good work.
You can follow me here or on the Bloglovin but don't forget to follow my blog there too.
Also, I wanted to inform you that I started writing my own stories. You can read them at my Wattpad profile (Honey_DU). My friend Anchy told me that I could make a shot at writing my stories without breaking them into few blog post so I did it. I really hope you'll have the time to read at least some of it. So far, I've written two stories: Intro and, let's call it, chapter one. You'll see. If you're wondering what "DU" stands for, it has two meanings. One of them is "Don't Underestimate" and the other one I'm not ready to share with you yet. I hope I'll have the courage on day to admit to myself the truth. But that's not important now.
Since this is going to be a short post with few topics I have just one more for you. Me and Mr. T. of course. In case you were wondering how's my love life... There is no one. He went home to his girlfriend but I'm fine. I like him (as a friend and more) and we're getting along pretty good. If we manage to talk every day (or every other) during this holidays, we'll be fine.
That's pretty much it. I want to thank Anchy for persuading me to start my "writing career". I would also like to thank my friend Dorko (just D. in the previous posts, don't mistake her for Miss D.) for telling me that it is great what I'm doing.
I wish you all the best possible rest of the day and prepare well for Christmas. There's not much time left.
Goodbye :*

21 December, 2013

A change of heart... (3)

Hi everybody :)
Him and her. His girlfriend almost left him because of her, his friend. And she found out why. So we continue...
- Tell me what you feel. Tell me the truth. I really need to hear it. Please. – He looked at her with his eyes full of hope that this pain will end soon.
- Gosh... Hmm... I want you to know that you're the first one that I'm having this conversation with and I hope you'll be happy whatever you decide.
- Just tell me!
- I like you too. Like you said, a lot. I didn't want to do anything about it cause you're in a relationship, but now I can tell you... – Shy as she was, she barely said this.
He went for a kiss, but she stopped him. 
- What happended? I thought you said you like me. You're finally getting what you want. I think...
- Yes, I am. But I don't want to do it like this.
- Like what? – He couldn't be more confused. He never understood girl's mind.
- You're still in a relationship. I need you to sort things out with your girlfriend. I don't wanna be "the other girl". Please.
- Now I'm sure that I made the right choice. I promise this will all be over in a day or two. Can you give me that much time?
- Whatever you need to close that chapter...
He leaned towards her and kissed her on the forehead. They stood there for a couple of minutes, looked in each other's eyes and knew everything will be OK.
The end
I hope you like it. This is the first post I really need you to comment whether you like it or not. I'm planning on writing this stories so I need your reaction. Please. Just rate it below. Please!!
Channing Tatum :)) Movie: Dear John. Kiss on the forehead...

A change of heart... (2)

Hello :)
So far, he told his girl friend that they needed to talk. She didn't like the outcome of that conversation. So we continue...
- My girlfriend... She almost broke up with me this weekend. Because of you. – You could see the sadness in his eyes.
- Me? How can that be? I haven't even met her.
- I've been talking about you, and she figured something out, and than our fight happened.
- I don't get it. What did you tell her? She thought you wouldn't meet any girl in college?
- It's not that. It's... I've been talking to much about you. Too many pretty stuff than I should about a  friend...
- You're going to be more specific than that. And now what? We should end our friendship because she can't handle you being away from her?
- Oh God! I love her.
- ... – Not really what she wanted to hear. She is in love with him. Or she thought so.
- And since I've met you my heart is really confused... I'm going away from her... – He started kicking stones on the ground to calm himself.
- So, how is this my fault? Why would I have to lose my friend? Please tell me that we won't end now. – She really started to sound desperate now.
- OK, since I've already told you this is the end, I could tell you the whole truth... I like you. Like, a lot. You're kind, funny and pretty. And I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend. At least, I've loved her till now.
- I don't doubt that you love her but if you feel anything else than being in a relationship with her, than you should end it. No matter what I feel or what you feel about me.
- I know. But I don't know. You know what I mean? This is so hard... I really don't want to lose you. Or her.
- Look, I don't know what to say to you now. You need to do what will make you happy. I believe if I tell you what I feel, you'll be even more confused. You love her but your heart is confused about being in a relationship with her. Start from that. 
It continues (wait a few moments)...

A change of heart... (1)

Hi people :))
I promised you two posts but I attended a concert yesterday so I wasn't able to write anything in the evening. Today's post will be a story, a dialog between a guy and a girl. I often have this scenarios in my head. We all do. What if... Well, I decided to share one with you.
They met up at the main square. He said they needed to talk. As expected, she had all kinds of thoughts about their meeting but she couldn't imagine what will happen. They were good friends, hung out a lot, talked to each other every day. They bonded in really short time. Now, he went home for a weekend, 3 to 4 days, in the other city. They still chatted. Nothing has changed. He said he had to go. He missed his girlfriend and family. She wished him safe trip and fast return. Few days later, he came back an called her. She was kinda excited and kinda scared. It was six o'clock in the evening. They don't like being late so they didn't have to wait for each other out in the cold. They said "hi" and started walking. Just strolling along the nearest park. Few moments passed in the silence and then he started:
- Look, we really need to talk. I don't know how to start this... – He started mumbling.
- You know you can tell me everything. I know we haven't been friends for a long time but I'm here for you. Whatever it is. – She looked at him with her big brown eyes to show him that she really means it.
- Thanks, but this is not that kind of conversation. I don't have a problem that you can solve.
- OK, now I'm scared a bit. Just tell me.
- We can't hang out anymore. We can't talk. We can just be around each other in college. Nothing more. That's it. – He said it all in one breath. It crushed him.
- You can't just say this like that and finish! You owe me some kind of explanation. – She was scared and angry at the same time.
- I can't. I know I screwed up, but this is something I need to do to clear my head.
- No! Just tell me, whatever it is. I can handle it better than not knowing it. Please.
It continues in the next post (coming in few minutes)...
The talk...

20 December, 2013

Finished Christmas shopping!!

Hi there :) I apologize for not posting anything yesterday. Hopefully , I'll make it up to you by writing two posts today or tomorrow. 
So, this was actually the topic for yesterday but I was too tired to write. After a week of running through my town, I finally found every Christmas present Santa asked me to buy. Yes, Santa exists but even he needs help from time to time. ;) I was so angry at myself that I've left everything for this last week because I don't really have the time to go anywhere these days... I've three whole days in the city trying to find everything I wanted to buy. The bad news is that I had to lie to my mom because she has to know where I am at every point of my life (not really a bad thing as it may sound) but I couldn't tell her that I'm buying a present for her. So, this last few days I went on a coffee with my five friends, I had to do something for my college and so on... But I can finally say that I got her a perfect present that she wanted. I can't really say what we (my brother, father and me) bought (you never know who will read this) but I'll tell you after Christmas. If you need some advices what to buy to whom, feel free to contact me (or comment). Every year Santa asks me to buy something my family will like, and to please him, I usually do the entire Christmas shopping. I spend all my money (that I saved for a year) and that makes me kinda sad. But it all pays off when I see that smile on my family's faces. Have you finished your shopping? Have you figured out that it's so much easier to buy something for a girl than for a guy? You can always buy a girl make-up, clothes or a puppy ;). But for a guy... Clothes becomes a stupid gift after few times, and there's not much more things you can buy for them. It's not just teenage guys or girls. Same goes for men and women at any age. I wonder what will Santa give to me. In case Santa reads this here's my list:
1. Health, happiness, wealth, no problems for me and my friends and family.
2. A puppy! My wish for the last 10 Christmases and birthdays.
3. BMW. :) Even though I don't have a driver's licence. 
That's pretty much it. Anything will be great but this is my top 3. What have you wished for Christmas?
Presents :D :D

BMW. The picture below: my favorite car. Buy it for me!

Puppies *__*

18 December, 2013

The old me is coming back

Hello :)
My blog, as you had the chance to see, is my vent, my escape from everything and everybody. It's just me and my thoughts. Since I started this, I've really seen myself maturing. When I read everything I've written, my brain got the hint. I've changed. I made me a better and happier person. More realistic. And it all crashed today. I was perfectly happy, hanging out with my friend and I saw these pictures on Facebook. Miss D. with most of the guys from our college. I admit I'm jealous. I didn't even know they were meeting up, not only wasn't I invited. That hurt me. Really. I don't know why I'm still thinking about it (it passed 5 hours since I saw it), but I am. I know that not everyone can be your friend but it would be nice to be invited. I was in the non-invited group my whole life. I'm sick and tired of it. I literally never get invited to anything unless I invite someone. And if you might think that they don't like me or something, that's not it. And I don't live in delusion. I know how everyone feels. Mostly. I think they like me but not enough to hang out with me. And how could I not be sad about it? The worst part is, tomorrow, when I see them, I'll be pissed, sad and confused and I won't show a single feeling. I'll be nice to all of them (there's no reason not to be) but I'll "hate" them all. Especially her. Miss D. God, what did I do wrong? What am I doing wrong? Why? Why me? I just want to sit somewhere in the corner and cry. Cry until everything goes away. But I can't. I need to put my self together and smile tomorrow. I have the feeling that I'm mostly smiling when I'm broken inside. My only hope these days are Mr. M., Miss E. (from college) and my "Fiba" friends (D. thanks for today :*). You see how a single photo can affect a person? Ruin my whole day? Put me in deep depression? (I'm not suicidal, don't worry...) On one hand, I'm happy they're happy and they're hanging out but on the other... No! I was supposed to be there too. I said to myself in the beginning of college that I'll change. I'll be inside of everything. But I'm not. I never was. "I read somewhere... how important it is in life, not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong." - Christopher McCandless. Smart man. I know exactly what he means. Fake smile - on, feelings - off. I would normally say to someone in this situation, keep your head high, they're not worth it. But I can't say that to myself. I'll just have to sleep it off. And I'm going to do that right now!
Good night Europe. Bye to all the rest...

Cry! It helps...
Just sitting in the corner... Don't mind me...

I think I know now...

Hello everybody :) How's your day? Excited for Christmas? I know I am. :)
So, this last few (dozen) posts were about me and my confused heart and Mr. M. and God knows what else. This is another post like that. (I really think everybody likes a "romantic" story.) As I wasn't writing about that for the last three days, I have some blanks to fill in. First of all, we had our first face to face conversation. Alone. (Well, it was a five minute break between classes and people were standing outside but nobody was around us. Nobody was in our conversation.) It went pretty great. I was kinda scared that it will be awkward (you know how it is to talk to someone in person for the first time, no matter chatting on Facebook), but it really wasn't. We just started talking and those five minutes just weren't enough. Now, that's a great feeling. We have "our little secret" as nobody knows we are constantly chatting. Our looks often meet and we always smile to each other. And today we had a "foot (leg/feet) fight" under the table in the cafeteria. I saw all the weird looks from our friends when they noticed and he asked why I'm so serious today. He noticed my mood! (My parents don't notice that!) You could now think all that is flirting or something but it's not. (I wish it was...) I figured it out that he loves his girlfriend and he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. (I love guys like that.) And I'm perfectly fine with it. I just like talking to him. I like having him in my life. As a friend (or whatever). I really hope we'll become better friends, with a stronger bond but only time will show that. So, my point is this. It took me 18 years for my heart to make peace with my brain and the surroundings. I'm still a bit unstable when it comes to the real feelings (I think that never goes away, that weird feeling when you don't know what to think or do) but it is all coming to it's place. It would be pretty hypocritical of me to say that you have to believe that your true love will come because I'm not sure that I believe that. What I do believe is that you choose your friends. Make your choices good, make them great. I know I have (D. and J.) and now him. You never know what the next year will bring into your life.
Friendship !!!!!
A guy and a girl CAN be friends

I love you Fiba <3

16 December, 2013

Something sweet to eat?

Hi you all :)
Yes please! I warn you, do not read further if there's nothing to eat near you. You'll be hungry. Here's why... I'm writing this last few posts so you could get to know me and my way of living. As you know, I'm a college student. I eat in college restaurant every day (the food is incredibly good) but, of course, I like to eat junk food too. This post, however, will not be about food like actual food that saturate you after eating it, but about all the sweet and unhealthy stuff you eat after the real meal. I eat all kinds of sweets (and salty chips) but some of them always make my heart pump faster when I see them in a store. I can't really say what's my favorite but here are some of them...
1. Chocolate candy. "M&M's". Colorful, small and filled with chocolate. What more can you ask in a candy? I always buy them. People who know me don't miss a chance to buy me "M&M's". That's how much I love them.
2. Lollipops. Preferably "Chupa-chups" but any kind is good actually. I love those flat ones (I only know they exist in my country). They have really unique taste and it's great!
3. Gummy bears. "Haribo". This is probably the worst kind of sweets for your teeth but their taste is great. Isn't it? To be honest, I always feel kinda bad for killing a bear, ripping his head or limb off but it's their sacrifice for happier me. (Morbid much?)
4. Bananko (banana + chocolate). Actually, anything from "Kraš" (a Croatian factory). They really make the best cookies, chocolate, candies... The combination of bananas and chocolate is unbelievably great. You have a feeling that you're eating a fruit. Makes you feel less guilty for eating it (if you're on a diet or something).
5. Chips. "Pringles", "Franck" (Croatian factory)... Anything goes but these are my favorite. I like them salty and with bell pepper. This is the worst kind of after meal addition to your stomach, and it makes you fatter than probably everything else, but tasting that perfect thin sliced potato is a great feeling.
6. Gums. These are the most healthier "food" from my list and they actually keep your teeth healthier too. Also, they help you digest your meal and give you a great breath. Win-win situation. I like green "Orbit".
Are you hungry yet? No? Just look at these pictures... *__*
Enjoy :)

In order of appearance: gummy bears, M&M's, chips, lollipops, Bananko and Bronhi (also from "Kraš"), gums. 

15 December, 2013

A few pieces of accessories

Good day people. It's third Sunday of Advent (for Christians). Even though I'm a Christian, I promised I would never put my religion is other people's faces. That's my thing. But, that's not my topic today.
Yesterday, I introduced you to my fashion style. Hope you liked it. As I promised, today, I'll present my favorite accessories (I'm so proud of myself that I learned how to write this word). As you could see, my style varies from totally classy and elegant to really sporty and comfortable. (Most of the dresses and high-heels are not that comfortable.) I have a thing for earrings. It all started few years ago when I saw how simple earrings can really lift up your whole outfit (especially if you lift up your hair). Also, there's no better feeling for me than having a bunch of bracelets on my wrist. I think this love started while watching TV show "Rebelde" (Spanish teen show). I also like rings, necklaces and all other stuff you can put on yourself. Picking my accessories is the most stressful thing in the morning but it also brings very awarding feeling when I see myself in the mirror. So, I like...
1. Bracelets. Like you can see in the pictures, I like charm bracelets. I actually only have a few of them (I don't know how that happened.). I like them in all colors and shapes, it depends only on my mood and my outfit for the day.
2. Earrings. There's nothing I wouldn't wear. Big, small, tassel or studs. It's not important to me. They only have to look good with the rest of me.
3. Necklaces. Either big or really small pendant. I don't really like the middle. It's easier to combine. Big necklaces go on simple, one-color clothing and small go on colorful clothing which is, only by itself, a great look.
4. Rings. I have two real rings (white gold and silver) that I wear constantly. But I have a few of modern and fashion ones that look great on my going-out outfits.
As you can see, I can also adjust to any occasion (like I can with clothes) because there are only few things that I don't like (I can't remember one now...).
So, I hope you like accessories too and that you'll like my pictures. (Maybe you'll recognize the "Heart of the ocean" in the last picture used in "The Titanic".)
Again, you can rate my posts below...
Enjoy :*
Something I've put together...

14 December, 2013

My fashion style

Hi my dearest :)
So far, I've been writing about my "love" life, about something that popped into my mind that certain day. Today, you'll read a bit different post. It's still about me, just about my fashion style. I had the urge to share my closet with you. So, mostly, you'll have pictures to see what I like and wear but I'll explain my very favorite pieces. So, here we go...
1. Jeans! My favorite piece of clothing. You can wear them literally with everything - T-shirt, blouse, high-heels, sneakers... They are very comfortable and they will never get out of fashion.
2. Sneakers! As I like to consider myself more of a sporty person, I'm almost always in them. They are great for long walks (I have the whole country to pass to get to my college, at least it seems so.) and for running (jogging and when you're late). Like jeans, also very comfortable and practical. I usually buy Nike's shoes, I think they have good quality and they last a long time no matter how often you wear them.
3. T-shirt. Preferably black so you can match it with everything but any kind is great for hot summer days. (Yeah, my figure doesn't look good in sleeveless T-shirts.) Looks great on jeans (long or short). Pretty simple look and if you find the right accessories, you can look like a million bucks.
4. Hoodie. My love for hoodies started few years ago when I found out that they are so warm, and that's important in cold winter days, or when you're home all day and you need to feel comfortable. I like them in all colors. I'm always looking for the ones with long sleeves but short sleeves look great too. Preferably also Nike's.
5. High-heels. Now, I know I said that I like sneakers the most but every girl needs a good pair of high-heel shoes. Even just for formal occasions. I have 5 pairs (I think) and I almost never wear them. I bought all of them in a period of my life when it was so popular and necessary to have them and go out in them. Now I'm old enough to get out in sneakers and still feel great and have a good time.
This is my top five. You can see some more pieces of clothing I like to wear in pictures. As you can see my style goes from totally sporty (sneakers + hoodie) through completely elegant and lady-like (high-heels + dresses) to rock (black leather jacket + those studded and black boots). And I like it that way! I can adjust to every occasion.
P.S. In the next post (or a few posts later) I'll present my favorite accessories to you. 
Hope you like my choices. Be happy :)
Definitely my favorite combination !!

This is my style !

13 December, 2013

Meet me through the picture

Hi everybody. :D Going good? Great :)
For starters, I need to brag a bit. I've passed all my exams for the first semester (before Christmas). More or less, I did fine. It could be a lot better but I passed, that's important.
Today I won't give you any love story cause I don't have one. I need to stop writing about Mr. M. That love is just impossible. The more I write about it, the more I think about it and it makes everything possible. Everything is possible in your dreams and imagination. Unfortunately, reality doesn't listen to your mind. I, however, won't stop writing some details about "us" cause that's the point of my blog: to tell you what's going on in my life. He's a part of it now. (One detail from today: According to him, I'm a sweetheart. ;) ) I'll have to find other topics for you. And I don't know what you like to read. So... Today, I'm gonna put some pictures together for you. Everything you see in these pictures represents me. Something I do, something I want, something I need, something I live by... I hope this will give you better picture of me.
Yes, I do realize that some of the pictures are very small but this picture would be huge if they weren't. I hope you'll see most of them and what they represent...

Skates make them hotter!

Hi to all of you out there :)
I love ice-skating! I'm not good, if you maybe assumed it from my previous sentence. I just love it. I love to slowly move on the ice while the cold wind makes my cheeks blush. There's just something about that spirit you can sense on the skating rink. So, last year (as every since I learned how to skate, I mean move my skates on the ice), I went ice-skating. The point is that I went on the last day of the season with my friend Helen. Just to see this one guy again... Short brown hair, simple blue jeans, black T-shirt and a green hoodie. Every time the same styling. We were amazed. Me more than her, but still... He's younger than us, we assumed. It's not that. There was something about him... And I was planning to meet him, just to say "hi". But I never did. I was, and still am, too shy. But his skating... Gosh, you should have seen that. I have a thing for guys who can skate like pros. He was amazing. I just saw him yesterday. It took me about 0.2 seconds to recognize him. But there wasn't hoodie anywhere. I was a bit disappointed by that. But then he took off his coat and stayed in his well-known black T-shirt. (Yes, in our country we do skate with short sleeves.) I realized that he's way more cuter in motion than if you really look at his face but that's not even important. His skating is! I love it. Now, he's not the only one there. I found a new guy to follow. Black hoodie, rolled up sleeves (makes him even hotter, I like that), jeans, great skates, great body, short dark brown hair... Really good-looking guy. Even up close. He may be 20 to 22 years old. Not bad, right? His skating? Perfect! I hope I'll see him again... And again... And again... There really isn't anything else on this guys what would normally attract me on a skating rink full of people than their ability to skate like professional skaters. I would normally see them, think they're cute/hot and move on. But this... I can't get my thoughts away from it... My eyes only looked for them in the skating rink... And, I almost forgot, there are security guys. Two hot guys who also skate like gods! (They are not actually that hot but, as I said, good skating makes them the hottest persons alive.) They are a bit older (25) but, as I said, that's not important. Now, they amaze me the most. They are there to keep the peace and order while skating but they sure know how to use their talent to skate. They are the ones who do most of the stupid things out there, but nothing too much. Just some little pranks. And they are so polite. If you fall because of them, or anyone else, they immediately come to you to see if everything's OK and they help you to get up. Yes, that's kinda their job but it's still nice of them to do that. In conclusion: I like guys who can skate and I want to learn how to skate real good (but I never will cause I'm to scared of falling and braking something).
In addition, I've put together some pictures mentioned in this blog. I've used Nike's clothes because that's my favorite brand. And please imagine more muscular guy and completely black hoodie ;)
Beautiful skating rink, skates, green hoodie, rolled up sleeves, my skating rink (empty during the day), more of that beautiful rink, security, more hockey skates and black T-shirt...

11 December, 2013

New developments bring mixed feelings

Hi :)
I'm here again, as I promised. Two posts a day? I must have very interesting life... Well, not exactly but I still like to write about it. I told you that I have some news in my life considering me and Mr. M. Well, that's not completely true. I wasn't lying, though. I don't really know what to think. I have these mixed feelings and I am not letting myself to be confused again. He's in a relationship and I really want him to be happy. I want everyone I know to be happy. That's not a problem. Now, the problem is... We're very good on Facebook, we are constantly talking and everything's great. We're acting like friends. Than we meet in person and we don't talk. I already told you why. (He doesn't talk to my friends, I don't talk to his. I don't even know how it is that we are talking...) And I'm trying to come closer to him just to get to know him. Maybe he's a total idiot and I'm just not realizing that yet. You never know. It's getting pretty impossible to get closer. I sit on the left, he sits on the right. I sit in the third row, he sits in the first one. Nothing on purpose (not even me). We just can't meet anywhere. Who knows if we'll ever talk like real friends. And the other side of me says: he's a great guy, funny, polite, smart and good-looking. And he sends me some mixed messages. At least I think so. But, how the times go by, I'm starting to think that he's like that with all his girl friends. He just likes to be polite and nice with everyone. And that's great. I like those kind of people. And that makes me like him even more. But... I'm not that kind of person. I couldn't even start anything if he's not single. Even if he tries something. Even if any guy tries anything. I know there's a girl out there who likes/loves him so... If he's an asshole (pardon my language), I don't have to be too. And I don't know if I would ever be able to be with someone who cheated on or left his girlfriend for me. That's kinda sweet, meaning he loves me more but he can easily do that to me too. That's a tricky one. Love's unpredictable. Any other way wouldn't be challenging or normal for these days. So, my conclusion is... I'll give it some time. Time will solve everything. And we'll see. No pressure. :)

Mixed feelings :/

Some changes would be great

Good day good people :)
I want to inform you that I've finished watching season 1 of "Adini Feriha Koydum" ("I named her Feriha"). (I've mentioned this show to you before.) I don't get why every Turkish show I've watched so far has to end with a death of a main character. Everything's great and than, of course, there's a gun and she/he dies. But fine. Not my topic for today. I saw a list of things we need to bring back in our lives. And I really think some of them are great and so unfairly forgotten. So, here it goes... Ten old fashioned dating habits we should make cool again:
1. Coming to the door to pick someone up. Meeting up always seems to be more casual and platonic. But generally, the 30 seconds it takes to get out of a car or cab and knock on the door makes a huge difference.
2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date. Whether or not we like to accept it, appearance does count for something. The other side will appreciate seeing you trying to look your best and putting effort in it.
3. Bringing tokens of affection to the first date. Now, not many girls (or guys) I know are that lucky to get this regularly. In fact, non of my friends, I think. It has become uncool because it's a gesture that confirms your interest, but isn't that the whole point of dating?
4. Going dancing that’s not jumping in some stifling club. What happened to dancing for the sake of dancing, like fun? Not essentially sex-on-a-dance-floor dancing. Slow dancing has been lost. And that's so romantic, people!
5. Bravely asking someone out and not calling it "hanging out". Or, very popular these days, "talking". "Oh, we’re just… talking." This is the best way to avoid having your heart broken because nothing is definite. But, it just ends up really confusing for everyone.
6. In addition, being clear about when you're "going steady". You know that awkward "So… Are we… You know… What are we?" talk. Classic. We should go back to asking if the other person would like to "go steady" or not. There's even that option in "The Sims", for God's sake. 
7. Romantic gestures like writing poems or giving something handmade. My poem would look something like "Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no idea what to do but I love you." But, anything you do will be great because you tried and you were thinking of that one person.
8. Turning your phone/laptop/other gadgets off and just being with the person. I can't even remember when was the last time I saw two people actually talking to one another while sitting together. Young people. Friends or more.
9. Asking permission for things. It used to be principle for people to say: "Oh, when can I see you?" Or: "When could I call you?" That's better than just assuming you can at any point. Trust me, a girl (I don't know about guys) will appreciate being asked if you can kiss her rather than grabbing her like a maniac.
10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time. A date does not mean you'll have sex, and you shouldn't be disappointed if it doesn't happen because you should never assume that it will.
P.S. I really hope the original authors of this will not get mad at me for posting this, I've changed the post a bit. Their blog is on the right. All ides came from Kate Bailey. You can read about this in a "A Thought Catalog Original: Not A Match: My True Tales Of Online Dating Disasters" by Brian Donovan.

10 December, 2013

200! Thanks :*

Hello you all :)
This, again, is going to be a short post. I'm too tired to live, not only to write something here. I have a new development on the "me and Mr. M." story but you'll hear it tomorrow. Today I just wanted to inform you that I got 200 views on my blog! That's great since it exists only two months and it's not really famous (yet). Again, I invite you to comment everything, to rate my posts and to recommend my blog to your friends. You can do all of that without anyone knowing. Also, I'd like you to visit my friend's blog (it's on the right). She has more critical posts. I think you'll find it interesting as I do. I'll probably write two posts tomorrow since I have two ideas and I won't post anything like that today. (So, don't come to my blog only once.)
In the end... Thank you all for reading my blog and getting to know me. :)
Peace out :)
Finally 200 views :)

09 December, 2013

Zero is NOT a size!

Hello everyone :)
(If you have watched "One Tree Hill", yes this title is stolen from Brooke Davis.) So, today I read something that really made me thinking. "In online dating, women are most afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat." Seriously? You can be that shallow? I know that looks is something you see first on some person, but is that really the only thing you should see? It's not all about the looks, you know? What if you meet a girl/boy online and they turn out to be the sweetest persons alive, someone who really gets you and they're fat? Or, what if you meet someone in person and that person is fat? Your common sense tells you that maybe that person is worth getting to know, no matter their size. But at the very beginning of that "relationship" you mark them as "friends". Same goes for "ugly" persons. And they can (almost) never become anything else. Some poor guy/girl who you hang out with because they're alone. And they are alone because they're fat/uglier. They may be so in love with you, but even them know that something like a romantic relationship will never happen. And they make peace with it. Nothing else is an option. That's so sad. Only pretty people should have someone? Should be happy? How many people, fat people, that you know are really happy? Satisfied with their looks and wouldn't change anything? They may seem OK on the outside, but they're not. Even if they try to convince you otherwise. It's easier to say that you'll have the chance to change. But most of the people don't have the chance and they stay miserable their whole life. Because of just one thing. The society made them that way. So, tell me... If I'm fat, don't I deserve to have everything pretty and slim people have? It's easy to say: I'll change, I'll be slim next summer, I'll open myself to others. But, it's a fact that self-conscious people can't do that. And than you hear: "It's easier said than done." How many times have I said to myself that next summer/semester/year I'll be different. I'll like myself better? That never happened. Cause, you know, this upper story is mostly about me. Everything you read here is about me. I'm usually very good with dealing with this feeling, but even I have times when I just can't take it anymore.
Please don't be shallow. Same goes for guys and girls. We can't all be perfect. "I am funny and smart. I can't be sexy too. That's just too much for one person." ;)
Brooke Davis: Zero is not a size! - OTH (Sophia Bush)

08 December, 2013

I always come second

Hi people :)
Before I write anything, I want you to know that I am not depressed right now and I am used to the way things are now. I was planning to write about something else but that can wait. I want to share the worst story of my life with you. (I believe this is going to be a bit longer post...)
So, I live with my family, mother, brother and father. Well, my brother moved out but he comes every now and then for the weekends. He... He is perfect. Like every big brother is to his little sister. But really, he's smart, funny, charismatic, popular, successful,... Everything a person would want to be. And I'm not exaggerating. When you look for the definition of the word "perfect" in the dictionary, you'll find his picture. This may sound to you like I'm jealous, but I'm not. I wish I could his life but I'm so so so proud of him. How could I not be? He's my role model. Kinda. ;) But there's something I will always be sorry for and something I will never get over. Other members of my family. My mother and my father. Now, I've already said that I don't really get along with my father but we're still a family. At least, I think so. Anyway, they are also so proud of my brother. And it's supposed to be that way. Any other wouldn't be normal. But... All their focus is on him. I'm sure there are people out there who feel the same way. When you just can't get in the spotlight. Not even for five minutes. I'm a great student. And that's kinda it. That's all that I have to show. Even though my friends think more of me than I do. I believe it's always like that. But that's not the reason to be less loved by your parents, is it? They should act equal towards every child they have. I wanted to be a soldier, I wanted to play the guitar and the piano, maybe some sport. I never did, I never will. Why? Because my brother did that (except the piano). Now, everything I do is like being his shadow. I got into his college, because I wanted to, and every time I say that, people immediately say: "Going by your brother footsteps, ha?" Well, yes and no. Imagine only if I joined the army, they would kill me with statements like that. In meantime, I gave up on that "dream". I figured that I could never go through with it. I'm not the type of person to obey every single rule somebody gives me. Maybe that's true, maybe I'm only telling that to myself. I think I'll never find out. My brother played the guitar, went to some sports championships and got quite a few golden medals. He had it all, and he's in his twenties. I tell you, everything I do is compared to him and I'm sick and tired of it. He, on the other hand, never said anything like that. I think he proud of me. I really hope he is. I told this story to my friend. I said I got used to this by now. I only expect that someday, maybe, I'll get my five minutes of fame. We'll see. She said to me: "You don't need to expect that. It shouldn't be that was in the first place." She's right but some things never change. I don't think this will, either. What do you think? Should I change myself?
Always in the second place...

07 December, 2013

Ashamed of myself?

Good day everyone once again. :) How are you? 
This is my second post today. I promised to write another one so here it is. The one in the morning was a bit depressing and I want you to know that I wrote that test earlier today and I'm done. I have four weeks of freedom. It feels great. As I got there today, I was really scared and freaked out. I just wanted it to finish. And it did. And I survived. :) I didn't know much but, at least, it's over. That's all I wanted today. I feel a bit sorry that I haven't studied harder because it wasn't that hard, but what can you do... I waited to see Mr. M. (he wrote it after me). I wanted to wish him good luck. And I did. Made me happy. We have wished each other so many luck we should get an A. :D But it won't happen. Luck doesn't work that way. (I'm thinking now what to write next because my title doesn't match my post. I had something to go with it, but... I'm gonna write that.) So, I saw Mr. M. in a hallway and he noticed me and I just stood there. Why? I have no idea... I waited, I pretended to wait somebody, and, in fact, I was waiting for him to come to me. Still no idea why. And he came. And I was acting so weird. If  I want us to be friends, I'll have to change something. I can't be that weird. I wish I could turn back the clock. I need to go into the past and change some sh*t I've done. Seriously. And now, my question to you is: Am I that ashamed of myself that I can only communicate on Facebook/Twitter/... or is there something more? Maybe I like him more that I want to, more than I should, more than I admit it. You never know what kind of drama will your heart put you through. :) But, the point is, I waited to say "Good luck" to him and I did that. I'm peaceful and happy. Regardless me flunking that test. And, icing on the cake, I talked to some guy in a bus today. He heard me talking about that test (after it) and just joined conversation I had with my friend. That was kinda weird but funny and nice of him because he actually explained it to me (too late, but still...). 
So, that's all for today. Follow me, tell your friends about me and be happy. :) 
If I only knew what my heart feels...
Why can't I accept myself? Why so weird?

I need help! NOW!

Hi my readers :) How are you? Everything O.K.?
You know, if you have a problem that you cannot share with your friends/family or somebody else you know, you can always talk to me. My friends say I'm a very good shrink ;). Any problem. Any time. I'm here. I figured, if I share all my thoughts and problems with you, you can do the same with me. Anonymously, of course.
According to the title of this post, I'm in no position to give any advice but this has nothing to do with me as a person. I'm just so stressed and scared. I have a test today (yes, we actually write tests on Saturday, and I have no feeling it is Saturday because I'm up from 6 a.m.) I haven't studied at all. You know how it is... When everything is more exciting than stupid school and physics. I put all my hopes into fact that we can have formulas on the test, but I'm not really sure if that's gonna help me. If you don't know how to use them, what's the point of having them? This is my last big test before Christmas breaks. I really need to pass this, but I won't. I made peace with it, but I'm still scared. I know I should be studying right now (I have 2 more hours) but I just can't. What do I do? Help me. Calm me down. Now! I spend my "study time" on Facebook telling people how I don't know anything instead actually doing something useful. Is it only me? It's not, I know. You all are lazy as me, right? ;)
I know this post is a bit different from others, but, as I said, this is my blog - my life. I'll write another one in the evening, more in my style. (Now I'll really need to write something as I have already announced it.)
My book is about this big ;)
Hahaha I really do. :D

05 December, 2013

Happiness is not normal anymore?

Hi you all. :) How are you? Hope you had a great day/a great day is ahead of you (depends on what time zone you're in).
So, I was walking today from college. And I was four bus stops away from my home and I decided to walk. It was a beautiful day today, warmer than the rest of these week. My day was very ordinary: got up early, went to college, ate lunch, got home, went ice skating. I had no free time today. And, of course, I still haven't started studying for my big test on Saturday. I really think I'm going to flunk that. But that's not the topic.
As I was walking home, I started smiling. For no reason. I was listening to the radio on my phone, the Sun was shining and made me kinda happy. The weird thing is that people started to look at me funny. I wasn't laughing out loud or smiling from ear to ear. I had just a small smile. Barely noticeable. But, apparently, everybody noticed it. They were all looking at me like I'm not normal, like something's wrong with me. I couldn't believe that. Usually, when I see somebody smiling, I smile too. I'm happy that somebody's happy. That's how it should work. When did everybody get used to all this sadness and misery that seeing somebody happy is not normal? "There's too much bad shit in this world." - Landon Carter, A walk to remember. He's right. There really is. And that's so sad. Nobody is walking in the street smiling, happy, lively... When did all that disappear? I want it back!
Try to do this.
Landon Carter, A walk to remember

04 December, 2013

Ideal home

Hi there :)
I'm sorry I haven't posted anything yesterday. I was dead tired. I still am, but I think I owe you that much. Since I have a blog, I should post something. :)
I always dream about my future and I hope I'll have a lot of money, like everybody else. I hope for that because I have lots of ideas for my future home. I always wanted a house with a big backyard. I want at least two dogs and they need space to run around. But, house or a flat, I have the same ideas. My home will be in natural colors, with lots of green. Green is my favorite color, next to red but I can't have a red house. And it's very calming color. That's a fact. Proven! Everything will be wooden (light wood), brown, green, white and beige. Of course, I'll have some pieces in contrast colors like red but only a few. I don't want to overdo it. I'd like to have a fireplace but I know that's already a big privilege. I also want few showcases and shelves for souvenirs and books. I'm not some passionate reader but I like to see books in a room. Makes it more sophisticated and more movie-alike. Paintings? Of course. But some that I can actually see what's painted there. I don't like those modern or expressionistic paintings, no offence to anyone who does. I'd also like all my linen to match. Now I have one pillowcase, another pillowcase and a blanket that has nothing to do with any of these two. I'm used to it but I'd like to have everything matching. Dishes too: square plates with brown border and green ornaments (or something like that). Everything is planned out. I just need my place and a lot of money ;). This is my first choice. (I hope you got the picture.) My other plan is all modern. Black and white. And green, of course. Metal with modern wood again, shine everywhere. Paintings in metal frames, great chandeliers... Hopefully, I will accomplish my goal. Here are some pictures for you :)
P.S. Of course, I couldn't find everything I would like but most of it is similar. And this beautiful big house is Cristiano Ronaldo's (interior is extra modern).
My favorites

Not bad :)

02 December, 2013

What's going on?

Hi everyone :)
I've told you yesterday about a tragic death of Paul Walker. And I thought that would be it. Unfortunately, he isn't the only (famous) person who died (young). I loved Whitney Houston too, and Patrick Swayze, and Corey Haim... But I accepted their death. They're not close to me. I was sad, like I would be if anyone died, but nothing more. But I'm still sad for Paul, two days later... I don't know what's happening. I'm more crushed than I expected to be. Maybe because I loved his movies, because yesterday I watched 7th "Fast and Furious" movie and he seemed so alive. I really can't believe that he's gone. I just read on news that his friend Roger's son was the first one on the scene and he saw his father and Paul burn to death (or were they already dead?). He tried to save them both. Anyway, I want to say that he is such a brave boy (age 8) and I wish him all the best in life. I hope time will heal his pain. At least some of it. I wish that to Paul's daughter, too. People, seize the day. Every day you have. Maybe (God forbid) it's your last. 
I wasn't suppose to write about this sad topic again but I couldn't help myself. I just want to add that nothing is new in my life so no interesting love stories today. Wait till tomorrow. ;)
Here are some of the famous people who left us too soon: Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Amy Winehouse, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Tupac, Michael Jackson... (If you remember anyone else, write them in a comment!)
I'm praying for all dead people and their families and friends they left behind, not only the famous ones.
P.S. Some people I loved... Forever and ever. + Paul <3
Patrick, Corey, Heath, Whitney

01 December, 2013

"If one day the speed kills me, do not cry because I was smiling." - Paul Walker

Hi everyone.
Today is a sad day. God just got a new angel. I don't know have you heard but Paul Walker died yesterday (but we found out today). In his honor this post is dedicated to him. He was born on the 12th of September 1973. He was only 40 years old. That's such a shame. Why would God (if you believe in Him like I do) take someone so young and so full of life? That's not fair. So, looking at this terrible situation, there's only one conclusion: today you are, tomorrow you're not. After all "Fast and the furious" movies, he, ironically, died in a car accident. He was a passenger in his friend's car. His friend, Roger, also passed away. I know that there are lots of people who die every day and nobody talks about them because they're not famous. Although it's not supposed to be, that's normal. You can't really expect everybody to know everybody. If that was the case, we wouldn't have anything but deaths in the news. I've sent my condolences to his family and to Vin Diesel (they referred to each other as brothers). I did it on Facebook and Twitter. I know that's nothing and nobody will probably read that but it made me feel more peaceful. I suggest you do that to even if you didn't like him. He died and every person should feel sad for somebody's death. At least, I think so. Paul was best known for series of "Fast and Furious" movies, but there are also (which I like) "Eight below", "She's all that", "Into the blue" and "Noel". He was a great actor and nobody will ever replace him as Brian O'Connor. I hope Vin will want to finish this 7th movie in his honor.
I'll put some pictures of him below in case you don't know who am I talking about. If you do, just enjoy his beautiful smile and eyes that will remain closed forever. :'( Paul, rest in peace angel.
New angel Paul Walker
His other family