27 February, 2014

Ignoring for no reason

Good day :)
Have you ever been ignored? I'm sure you have. For no reason? I hope not. But I also think that you have. Let me tell you about my problem. Few years ago, I've got to the high school, you know that. There was this guy, let's call him Jeremy. (I just thought about how pretty name that is.) He was the only one I knew from my elementary school. I had no idea that we're in the same school nor class. I approached him, said "hi" and he walked away. This continued for two and a half years, maybe three. I had no idea what I did since we haven't exchanged more than "hi" in all of our schooling together. He eventually turned around and started talking to me. We became, let's say, close friends. (We're no longer in touch that often.) But this is not the point. The point is why he hated me. What the hell did I do to him to avoid me for two years? Now I have the same problem in college. There is this, let's call him, Simon. I can see that he doesn't like me. And I can't think of one reason why not. I haven't done anything to him. Maybe he doesn't like my looks, because he hadn't got the chance to meet my personality. I'm really bothered by this. I don't need us to be inseparable or anything like that. I need us to be in good friendly relationship. Like I want it with everyone. This is not all in my head. He's doing everything Jeremy did. He is avoiding my look, stops talking when I come, never talk to me directly even if he's trying to ask me something... So, what's the problem? I really want to work this thing out but I don't want to ask him. I know I won't get anything done like that but I don't have the courage. I'm afraid of embarrassment (his and mine) and I'm afraid of the answer. Even though I know I didn't do anything, imagine if he told me something like: "I don't like you cause you look bad." Or: "I don't like you cause you give out this awful and unfriendly vibe." Or anything, for that matters. I don't know what to do with him.
So, if you have any good advice, tell me please.
Don't forget to comment and rate below :)
Bye :))
The worst part is not knowing...

26 February, 2014

Cause I'm happy

Hey there :) How are you? I hope everything is OK :)
So, as you can see in the title, I'm happy. About what? College! I can now say college is not hell and it is possible to survive. I know I've only been there for one semester, but it doesn't look so bad. Well, it didn't look so bad until today when I saw my new professor and his stupid, boring and difficult subject. But I'll worry about that later (read: next week when we have our first exam, and every week till the end...). No more worrying for today!! I wanted to share with you that I passed all my exams I had and I am so happy about it. Only few people manage to pass every exam from the semester (on my college, that is), but I did it! (Yes, I'm bragging and I like it! I think I've earned it.) I was going to fail one of them but I had the luck to get this really good professor (he sucks at teaching but he's really a good person) and he gave me another chance to explain myself and what I did wrong in my oral exam (that we write on a paper). After he realized that I know this, I only got confused (I didn't understand the question), he asked me few more questions out of the schedule and I got a C! Not a D, a C!! He said he would give me more but since I failed the first time, it wouldn't be fair to other students. Honestly, I would be satisfied with a D, but this was really a big surprise. What college professor would give you that chance? What goes for other subjects, I'm OK with all the grades. I'm sorry I couldn't get more, but it's important to pass. Wow, this really sounds like a conversation between my classes. Never mind that, I wanted to share my happiness with you. I know lots of you out there are struggling with schools and colleges, but I assure you it's not the worst thing to fail an exam. I am all depressed about it too, but life goes on and you'll get a second chance for improvement. Second chances are great when they're given to you. Use it the best you can. Just be careful who you give a second chance and if the person is worth it.
Bye you all :)
First one is totally mine. (No more fooling around, so I say every single year :P)

24 February, 2014

Pretending it's not there

Hello :)
For the past twenty minutes I've been writing a really personal post and I've finished it but, unfortunately, you're not going to see it. Yet. I am not ready to admit everything I wrote and I need more time to figure everything out. I also need my "love angel" Dora to help me through this. Now you know what's it about. Never mind that... Have you ever been dodging some topic for unknown reason? I mean, when you're not ready (or willingly) to admit something and, of course, you know it's true? You wouldn't be thinking about it if it wasn't true. When something like that happens, you fight with everything to forget the topic. I don't know if you realized it, but the more you fight it, the more you think about it. It sucks, I know. On the other hand, you can't not think about it because that would mean that you don't care. And most of this stuff are important: being in love, family, friends, college... You name it. All of these require your full attention. If it makes you feel better, I'm constantly thinking about three things... One is always on my mind, for 7-8 years now, for sure. The other is also almost constant - my family problems. And there's, more or less, new one. Of course, it's him. Who or what else? Those nightmares about it, they're not going to disappear, you know? You'll have to deal with it eventually. And you should always have hope there's a brighter side to everything. It would be great if our minds could tell us every day: "Nothing is worth your time. Time you spent worrying and killing yourself. It's nothing." I would like to do this from time to time, just to relax for a day or two. Maybe a year... Most of the times, our only salvation from problems is sleep. If, of course, you don't have nightmares, like I already mentioned. Go to sleep. Everything will look brighter in the morning (not just the Sun).
Have fun, enjoy :*
Just put it under a rug :)

I don't want to admit...

Hey you all, how have you been?
I announce that my second semester is starting tomorrow and I had no free time between first one and this. I was counting on, at least, one week but no. I had my last exam on Friday and Monday came before I blinked. I hate Mondays. I hate every day except Saturday (unless we have an exam on it). I can proudly say that I passed six out of seven subjects I have. The one that I failed is the hardest one and most of people I know said they tried 5 or 6 times to pass it. It took 2 years for one of my (smart) friends to pass it. So you get the picture. The problem is this time I only had to go to the oral exam and now I have to write it all again (written plus oral exam) in April. I really am afraid of it since I know only 2% of people in college (500 students a year) pass this. This is pretty bad and I really don't want to study this one subject for 2 years. The worst part is I thought I knew it. I did all the examples we got for that oral exam I was sure that nothing can surprise me. Well, they sure surprised me. When I found out about the results I was holding it together really well, I was depressed but not as I expected to be. But... (There's always a "but".) When I got home, I almost cried. Everyone had this really big expectations and I was supposed to manage to pass everything (this was my big plan) but I failed. I failed my family and friends, but, mostly, I failed myself. I know it's not the end of the world, everybody fails sometimes but I'm too depressed about it. And I have no idea how to get out of it. I fear of April so bad. I literally don't want it to come. Not this year. It's because I don't know what else can I learn. I thought I knew everything I needed to know for this. I should have known, I started to good to keep it that way. Universe (and my professors) just had to screw up my plan. Dammit! (This was I talking about in "Shut it off" about testing me.) Maybe I'm feeling this way because I'm not used to be the one that fails an exam. Not to offend anyone, but I was usually the one who comforted those who failed. I started college with a motto: "God, give me a D". I will be happy just to pass it (that's how colleges work). But I'm so sad that I have bad grades. I know that in two subject I deserve more but I really have douchebags for teachers so I had no chance. (I'm not delusional, I really do deserve more.) And I don't want to admit any of this. I don't want to admit that I'm sad and depressed, I don't want to admit that every single atom in my body is fighting itself because I know I deserve better. Now, I would just like to run in the middle of a street and yell how anxious I am.
So, this was my today. Bye.

22 February, 2014

Little girl has grown

Hey there :)
As usual, I was bored when I should have been studying so I got everything else done. I also took the time to look at my old Facebook statuses, pictures,... I joined Facebook in 2009 (yes, a bit late, but wouldn't have it in the first place if I didn't want to stay in touch with my elementary school friends). When I first made my account, I was like a child with a new toy - I had to show it to everyone, I was constantly on it and I had to comment and share everything. I actually have a status saying that I've seen somebody on TV, with thousand smiley faces. Also, I had these really depressing moments. I hate those people now. I can't believe that was me once. Once again, I saw some friends commenting, putting hearts and everything, friends that I haven't heard of in years... Sad, but I've already told you about it, so I'm gonna stay on my topic. Anyway, I've read my first two years on Facebook. I think the good thing is that I can look at it now and laugh, I'm not gonna be grumpy or offended. That was me. I'm not ashamed. OK, maybe a little... What I don't get is why do people still do that? Act like Facebook is a personal therapist and like it's OK to put every little detail on it. Maybe it will sound like an excuse, but I was new on it and I was 5 years younger! I'm not that stupid anymore. Some people I know (my age, who got Facebook way before me) still act like that. What the hell?? Not everybody needs to see how you look while you "sleep" (I love those fake photos...), know what you do every second of your life (eating - at my kitchen???) and not everybody needs to know that you're fighting with someone or, better yet, read your whole fight! Get a grip! It's embarrassing. That's why you have inbox or phone, mail or any other way of telling somebody something without the whole world knowing it. I wanted to tell you that I know what it's like to want to share everything but you must know when it's enough. I'm honesty proud of myself for not being that person anymore. Little girl inside me has grown up. She's still there, she only learned to control herself. Self-control is a powerful thing. You should try it.
Yeah, really crucial for me to know....

19 February, 2014

Stupid fears

Hey :)
Have you ever thought about what you fear in life? I don't mean those big fears like death or ending up alone or something like that, just something that could happen anytime anywhere (so can death, but that's not the point). For example, every time I take a shower, I wonder what would happen if my water heater (that's just above my tub) falls on me. I already have a bad image of bones sticking out of my legs (yeah, I don't have a problem with 80-liter boiler coming on my head and killing me, my legs are important here). Or maybe, what if I slip on the stairs? I would also get my legs broken (if not worse). It seems that I'm mostly afraid about my legs, I have no idea what's the deal with that. Imagine yourself walking next to a building and somebody's flower pot falls down on your head. I've read somewhere that there's a bacteria in the ground, if you walk barefoot on it you can get a horrible disease. And so on... There are also those fears of walking under a bridge, having any bacteria or microbe of dust in your house... I know there are actually some conditions where the person needs a special help from a professional and I'm not mocking them. I don't get that, probably never will, but I guess they're not making that stuff up. These fears I have are not that strong but I often find myself thinking about what would happen... It's not like I won't shower ever again or walk down the street cause a bird may poke my eye out while flying (those pigeons look pretty mad in my town). I wonder when do these fears become a psychological problem? I know (read: I hope) I'll never have a problem like that because there wouldn't be a person alive if everyone had fears like this. People wouldn't leave their houses. Living your whole life in fear is just stupid and unimaginable. At least, that's my opinion. Tell me, do you have some stupid fear like me?
Don't forget to rate and comment.
Bye bye
Water heater, jack, stairs, flower pot, pigeon!!!! Be careful ;)

17 February, 2014

I care? I don't care?

Hey :))
I have heard that you can only be mad at those people you like/love. You care about them, therefore, they can hurt you and make you angry. People you don't care about have no impact (or shouldn't have to have it) on you, so they mean nothing. Their acts and words mean nothing. It can't hurt you. On the other hand, some of them say: "I love/like you, I can't be mad at you." Basically, your love is stronger than anything and this could be true. So, which one should I believe? Am I angry at someone because I love them or because I'm irritated no matter my feelings? Nothing happened today, this is just a random topic that came to my mind. And it has been bugging me all day long. I have to cases to prove both of this statements. First one... I have a friend, a good, great friend and I'm kinda mad at her. I know I love her but I'm angry. Second... Miss D. Do I need to say more? I don't love her. I'm not even sure that I like her. So, why am I angry every time she opens her mouth? Maybe I'm hurt by the fact that she hasn't turned out to be the person I expected her to be... Maybe I had more hope that we'll be friends... I really have no idea. But the point is, it doesn't matter who you like or doesn't like. Some acts are gonna hurt you either way... Maybe the only difference is that it will hurt you more when it comes from someone you love... It's because your heart is programmed that way that you only expect good from those people and once they hurt you, your heart overloads. I don't know a better way to describe it. Believe me, I've been there. You just feel a lot of love, shame, anger... Your heart can't take that much emotions. I need my switch-off-my-emotions thing again. I depressed myself with this post. I'm sorry. Hahaha. Everything will be OK, just go listen to some music or something...
Hopefully, you'll rate this and comment your opinion :)
Have a nice day you all.
Love and hate

16 February, 2014

Glorious 1000 !!!

Hi you all :)
I know I already posted today but I wanted to thank you all for reading my blog. I achieved 1000 views today and I am really happy about it. I can see that I have my "fans" who read my blog on daily basis so I thank you the most.
Greetings to USA, Germany, France and mostly to my Croatia. These four countries are active the most. I would also like to thank all the others who helped this number rise (Slovenia, Serbia, Hungary, Ireland, Australia, Bulgaria and Greece).
From now on, I hope you'll comment more, rate my posts because I really want to know what you think about me, my blog and any particular topic.
In case you haven't noticed by now, I have "Translate" button above posts so you don't have to struggle to translate posts by yourself if you don't know English.
On the right you can find all links that mean something to me so be free to check them out.
Again, if you have any subject you would like me to express my opinion on and write about it, tell me. Comment anywhere and I'll do my best to make a post about it. If you want to know about something I've already written about, do the same. I'll be happy to explain something or fill in the gaps.
I would also like to thank all the people that make me feel good about writing this: Anchy, Joan and Dora from my real world, and Amanda (and her friends) and Fanni from virtual one.
Thank you. :*
Pretty awesome, right?

Early morning chat

Hello :)
The Sun is shining, music is playing, the house is empty, chat is open... It is the best feeling ever to wake up like this and have his message waiting for you. Or so they say, I wouldn't know. Or would I? I have no idea what to say... Anyway, I do have his chat opened and we're talking... Can you guess how am I talking about? Yes, it's M. (I told you I'm going to lose that "Mr."). No matter what he says, he always puts a smile on my face. I and hate it!! Why? Because I can't have this right now. For starter, I have bigger problems that I don't want to bother anyone with, and did I mention like 200 times that he's in a happy relationship? Well he is. The worst part is I know he'll never look at me like "that". But hope is a bit*h! My motto was always "Hope dies the last.", so yes, I always have hope. And it's awful to hope, to wait for something that will never happen. Don't get me wrong, I like talking to him, I like way things are now, but there will always be this small (or bigger than I want to admit) part of me wanting to change that. I can't ask anyone for advice for two reasons. First one, I have no idea how to explain my feelings, my thoughts... And second, I know what I have to do here, but it's harder than it looks like. I have to give up. I have to be his friend, a friend like he sees me. And he's making it to hard. He's all sweet and sending me these mixed messages (which I like for some unknown reason) and I have no idea what to do. I do, but I don't. Gosh, I could use that turning-off-my-emotions thing I told you about yesterday. I need to concentrate on my exams and this is almost all I can think about. So, I turn on my TV and, before I know it, I lose my entire day on nothing. 
Life is good, right? -.-" (Actually it is. You just have to survive all bad moments to enjoy the good ones...)
Choo choo motherfu*kers ;)

15 February, 2014

Shut it off!!

I can't really describe what I'm feeling today but I know I'm not happy. I'm not sad either. Some weird sh*t is happening to me. As I told you, I'm watching "The Vampire Diaries". There's this perfect thing they do. Vampires, I mean. They can shut off their emotions. Wouldn't that be great from time to time? What I discovered today, Damon isn't really shutting of his emotions entirely. He said: "Yes, I feel, and it sucks!" I'm with you Damon. Feelings are what destroys us the most. They can be something that will bring us back to life too, but in my situation, it's the first one. It would be so great if I could walk one day without feeling pain, shame, sadness... I don't know what I would do if somebody gave me this choice: You can either feel happiness, but also sadness or you won't feel anything, not good stuff, not bad stuff. Maybe I'm saying this cause I'm in this weird mood, but I really don't know which one I would pick. Bad emotions are sometimes too strong and they make me fall apart. I wonder what it would be like to be one of them. One of those people who have a switch in their heart and can choose what they will and what they won't feel. Is there anyone like that? I know life is not supposed to be simple and with rainbows and unicorns, but too much is too much. Life should learn how to balance good and bad stuff. If you believe in God, He should learn that too. People say life/God is testing you, he's got something special for you if you pass. Well, stop testing me. I will endure anything because I have no other choice, but I don't want to fight anymore. Maybe this sounds to you like a lot of crap because I'm only 19, but I have stuff in my mind that are killing me every single day. Little things but they are so powerful. The worst thing is that once I start, I can't stop thinking about them. There are this moments of happiness and they are beautiful (thanks to my family, friends, dog :P). But in the end of the day, it's what's on your mind that matters. And I have two or three constant topics: love problems, family problems and college problems. What more do I need, right? My mom always tells me that I'm a cheerful and happy person, but she has no idea what happens behind my smile. Nobody does.

Download freak

Hey there :)
Do you like to watch TV? Or maybe download something and watch it on your computer? I do. I used to wake up at 2 a.m. just to see my favorite movie. I still do that sometimes, but since I discovered YouTube, million of other sites for watching online and downloading, I live in front of my laptop. I've got all of my favorite movies saved in favorites. I just have one problem with TV shows. When I see the first season I just have to have the other 15 of them. It takes all my "study" time. I told you that I'm watching "The Vampire Diaries" at the moment. I know, more or less, how it ends and I can tell you right away that it's going to start to annoy me. But I keep watching it. I'm a TV addict. For sure. Also, next to this one, I'm watching "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "Melissa and Joey" and "Medcezir". That's a lot of shows to watch at the same time simply because once I start watching something, I have to watch at least three or four episodes a day. And one of them lasts for 40 minutes... So... My day goes by so quickly. Thank God I hot a hard drive for my birthday so I can store all my virtual possessions on it. Also, I don't like removing anything from my laptop. I just can't delete something, even if I don't need it anymore. For instance, I have downloaded shows that I finished watching a year ago. But, in my defense, I still like to watch some of my favorite episodes from time to time. I just figured that I got a bit out of my topic, but it's all kinda related. You don't mind, do you? Back to downloading... I also have tons of music on my laptop and I listen to it every single day. There's not a moment of the day that my laptop doesn't play it. I love to walk into a room and there's music on, especially if that's the music I like. I search for every single song I like and I have to have it. Most of them are still on CDs (some of them are actually original) but I have music that I have no idea where it came from. Weird, right? But, I don't mind. As long as I have something to listen to. Same goes for the pictures. I have to save every picture that made me laugh/cry or for any other purpose. I have to have it all. Please tell me there are more of you like me...
Pretty colors :))

14 February, 2014

It's Valentine's Day!!!

Hello lovely people :))
A friend of mine wrote: "To love means almost nothing, to be loved is something, to love and to be loved is everything." - N.
Today is Valentine's Day (in case you haven't read 1569659 statuses on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social network, plus, let's not forget Google's pralines). Today is the day for sharing love, more than usual. Now, I'm supposed to write something really sweet and lovely, but it's hard to celebrate Valentine's Day if you're single. But, I'm not one of those who will sh*t all over this "holiday" and say that it's just a day that major corporations invented to make more money from presents... I think it's great that we all have this day when it is normal to walk around the city with a big helium balloon shaped like a heart. Love should always be shown, but on this particular day, couples become more mushy and it's cute. Even if you're not a big fan of couples, you have to admit this day is sweet. There's whole bunch of presents you can give or receive: balloons, chocolate, roses, flowers in general, candies, stuffed animals... Anything that has some kind of love message and a little heart on it. It's is the best feeling ever to know you're loved. I personally love those little messages that somebody leaves anonymously to someone. Looking at their face is priceless. I've done that once and felt pretty good. Nothing happened between us (I was in fourth grade of elementary school), but it was still a nice gesture. I think that today all people should give something to someone. Maybe even to your friends. I don't see a reason why a male friend couldn't say "Happy Valentine's Day" to his female friend. It's a day of love. So, friends can love each other too, right? I know that it would be kinda weird if everybody would give everybody some hearts and all those gifts, but a simple card would be nice. Just my opinion. It's kinda sad that there are so many great people out there looking for someone and they're single because their not "popular" or "hot" or any of these "perfection" stereotypes. Look beyond that and you'll find love. Or... Love will find you...
Stay in love. Love everyone who deserves it. Let yourself to be loved. It's the only key to happiness.
Oh, and yes... Happy Valentine's Day to all of you :*
Love is in the air. Everywhere I look around.

13 February, 2014

Friends make everything better

Hello dear people :)
Friends... Yes, we all need them (don't lie that you don't!). They literally make every situation better that it really is. If you're in a good mood, they will turn it into great. If you're in a bad mood, they will sympathize with you, give you some good advice and make you feel better. For instance, today I was with my best friend Joan. I was pissed about something and she made me feel better. I let it all out and immediately felt better. What I love about her is her ability to make me feel comfortable and to put me in a good mood without nodding her head to everything I say. I love her honesty. Of course, she doesn't say to my face that something I like is stupid (well, sometimes she does), but she says it very nicely. (And I'm smart so I get the hint.) I personally wouldn't like to have friends that don't say their honest opinion. I love when somebody is thinking like I do (we all love that), but some disagreements are natural and good in any relationship. You can't have your clone, you need some kind of conversation. Otherwise, you wouldn't have to say anything. Honestly, I don't trust too much people who agree with me on every single little thing. That can't be for real. A real friend would say their opinion on every subject, no matter if they agree with you or not. And any person that says otherwise is probably lying. People want their friends to say what they wanna hear. (Me too.) But there is need for some good advice too. If saying what you want to hear is not a good advice, a friend wouldn't go through with it. Do you get what I mean? Tell the truth! But be careful that you don't hurt the person. Wrap it up a bit to sound more like what they need and want to hear. Also (a bit out of topic), I believe in balance. If you have two or more groups of friends (elementary schools, high school, college...) try to balance them. Every single person there is worth it (if they're your friends). So, try to see them all equally, try to hang with them whenever you can but also equally. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, do the same... Balance people! The truth and relationships. All needs to be in balance.
Have a very good day :*
P.S. Hi to Joan, her A. and H. friends :P
Yep. Those are friends...

12 February, 2014

Did I mention they were vampires?

Hello :) Although I started my day in a hospital, it's a great day out there :)
I know vampires are so so popular these days, so it would only be fair of me to write something about them too. I'm sure most of you watched "Twilight" (and all the other parts I've seen but have no idea what their names are). Now, there's a nice love story but I personally don't like it as much as I expected. Honestly, Bella irritates me. I don't like her character at all. Her face expressions are the most annoying thing to me. Furthermore, she chooses Edvard over Jacob (big mistake!), she flirts with both of them, plays games... And the end of it all... Really? Jacob was first in love with Bella, and then he falls for her daughter? That's too creepy for me (the whole end in general)... However, I started watching The Vampire Diaries (TVD). I know I'm late with that, but I had no intention to watch it, but then I was bored, and one thing led to another... I downloaded it and now I can't stop watching. I was on team Damon from the first scene, but that's not that important. What is important is that's a great show. I love it how there's always something new in every episode, so it doesn't get boring. But, there's this thing when everyone in the show turns out to be something, just not human. That's kinda too much. (I loved Caroline and Matt.) I'm personally a big fan of cheesy romantic moments, so I'm melting on those Delena scenes (that's Elena and Damon for you who don't watch it). However, there is this awful thing that will happen. Elena is now dating Stefan (Damon's brother) and later on she'll date Damon. I wonder what will happen that she'll change her mind... I love Delena more than Stelena (Stefan and Elena), but how can you date both brothers? That's not right from Damon either, but he's like that from the beginning. It's kinda the point that he seems all heartless and like he doesn't care about anyone, when, in fact, he changes and starts to care. (I love, love, love those characters.) I could now write down my favorite parts so far, but that would be too long. So, I'll leave you with this. You can tell me your opinion on this "vampire stories". I'm also asking you not to tell me what happens later on, I wanna be surprised. (I'm on the beginning of the second season.)
Oh, yeah, one more thing. If you watch it, pay good attention to Damon's eyes. They're beautiful!!! And look at his face. His expressions are priceless. I just love it!
Delena forever!!!

09 February, 2014

What's the point?

Hey there :)
Have you ever been in situation where you asked yourself: "What's the point?" I'm sure you have. What's the point of telling your little brother not to jump into mud, when you know he will, every time? What's the point of asking a professor if he/she has graded the papers when you know they haven't (they need a month or two at least)? What's the point of looking for good news in the newspaper when you know there isn't any? There are a lot of "what's the point" moments. I have lots of them at home. They are (almost) all connected to my father. What's the point of telling him to go to bed when he falls asleep on the couch and snores, when I know he'll get upset and just turn around and fall asleep again. What's the point of telling him how sipping is rude, when I know he won't give that up. What's the point of telling him the names of my friends (because he asks), when I know he'll forget them (cause he doesn't care). All these make me hate the person. I give myself up because I can't see the point. And then I just sit there quietly, burning inside myself. I hate myself for not saying anything, but what's the point? Nothing will change. (The person might hate me more, but that's it.) What to do in situations like this? Sometimes, the price of keeping quiet is too damn high. I don't want to lose myself here and change my stands and believes but there's nothing I can do. I'm very patient person and I can take whole bunch of crap, but some things are just too much. Maybe I wouldn't be that irritated if I knew the person is trying to change that thing or if I knew they, at least, accepted it. But this is impossible to endure. I get more frustrated by the day and I'm afraid it will mess with my mind. I'm seriously going crazy about this few (hundred) things. Help me! Give me some good advice how to cope with this feeling of hate and depression. However, I don't want that "Talk to him." advice because that doesn't work in my family. You need to give me some advice I can do on myself. (I hope you don't have problems like this...)

07 February, 2014

Miss D., Mr. T. and I

Good day to you all :)
I've noticed that I haven't posted anything about Miss D. and Mr. T. for a long long time. You could easily say that they're not important to me anymore. I once started this blog because of them and how they pissed me off (well, she did) and today I have no thoughts about them. I don't know if you realized this or not. In meanwhile, Miss. D. moved to his neighborhood, they started hanging out more... I actually think he got sick and tired of her by now because they don't hang together anymore in college, at all. She eventually moved on to his good friend and now they're getting a beer every other day. I was jealous at first, I still maybe am a bit, but I moved on from that story. I realized that we can all be together and talk normally and that's most important to me. I don't want enemies at college. Or people I just don't talk to. I want to be at least OK with all of them. And I am. That's pretty great in these times. So, what else? Oh God, I have nothing to say about them. I really don't know anything and I don't care. I only remember that Mr. T. came one day to college, about two months ago, and a group of students called him weird (and some more things). Not to his face, they were just talking to each other. And I heard everything, of course. (I wasn't eavesdropping, they were in front of me and I have a really good hearing.) Then were still the times I desperately wanted to be his friend so I was really surprised by what they said. I wanted to say they were wrong, how he was great... Later, as I began to get more distance from him, I realized they were right. He's so not the type of person I could hang out with. Maybe that's his "cool college" face and maybe he's not like that privately, but, at this point, I don't have the urge to find out. We're OK just being some kind of friends. (This is the confusion I told you about in "Acquaintances or friends?" post.) And about Miss D. Well I don't know much... She's still annoying to me. We can also talk normally, but what irritates me is her change. She's one person with me and my group of people and another with Mr. T. and that group. So, you see why I don't like her so much. And I thought we were going to be really good friends... Not gonna happen, but I think this is the first time I'm not sad about it... Who cares? They don't need me, I don't need them, but we're all good. I like it the way it is...
That's pretty much it. If you have any questions about this story, just ask :P
This is what you get when you type Mr and Miss into Google search :)

06 February, 2014

I wouldn't trust them

Hey there :)
Look, this is totally of topic, but I'm trying to do something and it would really mean the world to me if you followed this two links: Royalty nails and Beehive. Please. And thank you in advance.
So we can move back onto my topic. I was at the hairdresser's today and I showed her the picture of myself  from a year ago with the haircut I want. Can you imagine my expression when I saw myself in the mirror and it wasn't it? Now I'm stuck with straight hair and too short bangs. I think that she straighten my hair cause I always want it like that so she remembered. But today, I showed her picture with wavy hair and nice bangs and she said it's OK. How was I supposed to know that she's going to mess me up. Argh! Actually, after I took a good look at her, I should have known. She doesn't have any hairstyle. I'm not saying that it makes her a bad hairdresser, but let's be honest, you wouldn't trust a construction worker to build your house if his is falling apart... You wouldn't trust a good manicurist if she had nails like they were bitten by tigers. So I shouldn't trust my hair with a person that has simple ponytail, not that good if I may add, and big difference between her real hair color and her dyed parts. All this doesn't mean that all these people are bad at what they do, but, to be real, humans judge by the looks. We should always give people a chance, but our eyes say something differently. As much as this wasn't supposed to be the case, our appearance makes a lot of difference to others. This is especially seen in teenage years and in a job we do. Crazy psychiatrist. Beautician with one eyebrow. A lawyer dressed like a hobo. Would you go to them? No. That's why they have job rules and dress codes. Again, this doesn't mean they are bad, but they give that unprofessional vibe.
Hopefully you have a better hair day than me... 
Bye bye
Crazy hairdresser !!!!!!!

05 February, 2014

O, happy day!

Hello you there :) How's your day?
Mine was great! Well, it can always be better but I'm happy, that's important. I passed one of my exams. A really difficult one, if I may add. I waited for four hours for the professor to show up. I was so so nervous and I had the feeling that I forgot everything! Like I always do before something like this. The good news is, I haven't forgotten a thing but that wasn't useful at all. He asked me something based on pure logic and I'm not that good with logic. I froze, of course. Mostly, because I didn't understand what he was asking. He tried to make me fail this, but he couldn't! So, joke's on him! I was so proud of myself that I went out of his office with a big smile and could say to all of them that I passed. Such a great feeling. Hopefully, I'll get more of those. And now, I still have some studying to do, but I'm postponing it because I really don't want to ruin my great mood. And I know I have to study because I have a big exam tomorrow too. God, being a student is not as easy as the movies show it. Dammit! Um... To stay on happy subjects... As I was going home, somehow I couldn't stop smiling. People were looking at me funny, but all I could think of was: "God, this was good. I'm smart. Yey for me." Or something like that. Also, I'm trying to celebrate my birthday this weekend so that should be fun too. (Meh... I just looked around my room and realized I need to clean it up a bit before I start studying. Yes, I would do anything rather than studying, who wouldn't?) To add some more happiness, my friends passed the exam too. Well, not all of them, but most of them. I was really sad about those who didn't pass because I know how hard they were trying, but they'll make it next time! Now, I'm only waiting for next week to pass to know all the results. And I'm waiting for D. and Joan to contact me about their colleges and then I can be at peace with myself.
So, stay happy, smile a lot (no matter how weird people look at you...)
Rate, comment (Amanda and friends too) so I could know what you think of all of this so far, and what you expect in next posts.
Bye bye :*
Straight A student! (Well, I'm lying, but I passed!!!)

03 February, 2014

Teen chats - yes or no?

Hi readers that I have been neglecting for a while. Sorry for that.
So, few years ago my friend told me about this teen chat online. Of course, I was bored and went to see what it is all about. Nothing special. Just a bunch of people bored enough to chat with random strangers. Everything's fine and kinda funny until you start talking to some weirdo or a pervert. Good thing is you don't need to give any of your personal information. Not even your mail address. Well, I haven't been there for almost a year and a half (I think). Now, this same friend reminded me of it the other day and today I went again. I saw a name on it: "Any-Moms-With-Young-Daughters". Seriously? There are a lot of those there. There was also this one nice guy but he left soon. Now, I'm still online as I'm writing this. There are these creeps that just won't let go. I don't know how some people just can't stop and give it a break. Now, I'm chatting with three really nice people. I think they contacted me because I wrote in public chat "Is there anyone here who is just bored and nothing else?" I think I'm going to be "friends" with one of them. Tom is great and he added me on Skype. Anna also added me on Facebook but I don't think we'll talk anymore. She doesn't know how to write in English so it's really difficult for me to understand her. Be careful who you add and delete them immediately if you see something wrong. Don't play with strangers. I know I sound like our parents but I'm always extra careful with these things. I personally don't like adding people that I don't know on Facebook because I have a lot of information there about myself and a lot of pictures. I don't want my pictures to end up in some creep's room. Call me paranoid but safety comes first. And, to stay true to myself, I've removed Anna as my friend. We can still send each other messages but anything else would be too much since we don't know each other. On the other hand, I'm getting to know Tom and he's pretty much better with every minute. We'll see. (No, I won't marry him, D.) So, I read my post now and I see I didn't say much. My point is: Please be careful on those chats or social networks. There are too many bad people in the world for us not to be worried... Unfortunately.
Tell me, do you chat?