02 August, 2020

To love and to be loved...

I hate to disappoint you if you thought this was going to be a post where I finally tell you I'm in a happy relationship or something similar. On the contrary... I'm in a deep funk about it. But let's talk a bit about it.
...I'm at nothing. Nowhere.
I'm sure you all heard "To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to be loved by a person that you love is everything." or some variation of this. And let me tell you where I am now. According to this saying, I'm at nothing. Nowhere. To be honest, I wouldn't say I 'love' someone, I'm just having a major crush, constantly thinking about him and also wondering what he's thinking like 90% of the time. Haha. The only reason why I wouldn't now call it 'love' is because we're not that close and I can't say I know most about him. So call it what you like.
...the feeling of love is so powerful...
But the point here is that I refuse to think that this is nothing. I know I sound like a crazy teenager now, but to love is great! Sure, it sucks not getting that love back, but the feeling of love is so powerful and awesome. By loving someone, you're learning so much. You learn how to really listen, how to understand, to be patient, compassionate and selfless. And I have to say these traits are remarkable to have. You start noticing little things about them, about their surroundings and interests,... Not in a creepy way, haha, but in a way where you notice what makes people happy, what annoys them, etc. And of course, I am now talking about a romantic love because I'm in that mindset, but this goes for family and friends too.

To love is great! And if you work for it, or you're just that one person, you might get lucky enough to be loved back.

I won't lie, for the past few months I've been feeling pretty down about it and I keep telling myself to let it go (it's definitely not working), but I do not feel sorry for feeling like this. Even though this person and I are not even that close, he made me think about a lot of things, he made me look some things differently. He showed me some awesome music, thought me some facts, maybe pointless, but to me precious, made my day without even realizing it and made me laugh countless times... Again, it doesn't have to be related to romance; what ever people you love say or do, it makes it so much more powerful in your eyes.

I hope this all made sense. In short, don't be embarrassed of your love for anyone. Let that love grow and guide you. Also, if you have the courage (which I definitely 100% don't have), tell them. You never know where it may lead you. Enjoy the love.