07 December, 2013

Ashamed of myself?

Good day everyone once again. :) How are you? 
This is my second post today. I promised to write another one so here it is. The one in the morning was a bit depressing and I want you to know that I wrote that test earlier today and I'm done. I have four weeks of freedom. It feels great. As I got there today, I was really scared and freaked out. I just wanted it to finish. And it did. And I survived. :) I didn't know much but, at least, it's over. That's all I wanted today. I feel a bit sorry that I haven't studied harder because it wasn't that hard, but what can you do... I waited to see Mr. M. (he wrote it after me). I wanted to wish him good luck. And I did. Made me happy. We have wished each other so many luck we should get an A. :D But it won't happen. Luck doesn't work that way. (I'm thinking now what to write next because my title doesn't match my post. I had something to go with it, but... I'm gonna write that.) So, I saw Mr. M. in a hallway and he noticed me and I just stood there. Why? I have no idea... I waited, I pretended to wait somebody, and, in fact, I was waiting for him to come to me. Still no idea why. And he came. And I was acting so weird. If  I want us to be friends, I'll have to change something. I can't be that weird. I wish I could turn back the clock. I need to go into the past and change some sh*t I've done. Seriously. And now, my question to you is: Am I that ashamed of myself that I can only communicate on Facebook/Twitter/... or is there something more? Maybe I like him more that I want to, more than I should, more than I admit it. You never know what kind of drama will your heart put you through. :) But, the point is, I waited to say "Good luck" to him and I did that. I'm peaceful and happy. Regardless me flunking that test. And, icing on the cake, I talked to some guy in a bus today. He heard me talking about that test (after it) and just joined conversation I had with my friend. That was kinda weird but funny and nice of him because he actually explained it to me (too late, but still...). 
So, that's all for today. Follow me, tell your friends about me and be happy. :) 
If I only knew what my heart feels...
Why can't I accept myself? Why so weird?

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