13 April, 2014

It's not the same, though...

How many time have you heard "That's not the same!" in the middle of an argument? People use this so much to make their guilt smaller, or someone else's bigger. Yes, there are times when two arguments really aren't the same and someone is more guilty (or right) than the other. But, in most of the fights people participate in, arguments are weak and, basically, the same. Mostly, those fights are either stupid (over some small, irrelevant things) or caused because of the payback. In that case, you're both wrong either way and payback was just a stupid idea. But what I really hate is when people use this when they have nothing else to say. If you say "It's not the same.", you better give me some explanation. This can't just be left hanging. Even if it's not used in a fight, you need to say why you don't agree with it because, otherwise, you will just look... Well, weird. I can say, from my own experience, that anytime I use this sentence while talking to my friends, you can almost always hear somebody raising their voice and the conversation is slightly changing into an argument. Why? Because this shows that you don't agree with the statement the other person made. Every disagreement leads to a potential fight. That's the definition of a fight... When people don't (or don't want to) understand the other side. Why I started this topic? Because I've heard on TV (some show) a fight between married couple or dating couple, I'm not really sure. The point was that they both cheated few times during their long relationship and now it all came to the surface. His secret was reviled first. He was apologizing, she was yelling... And than he found out that she did the same. And the only thing she could remember was: "It's not the same." Than she said how she was alone, needed attention and other stupid excuses. Seriously? How it is not the same?? It wouldn't be if somebody drugged her or if she was totally drunk. That doesn't make it OK (!), but it gives her some kind of an excuse and she could say that it wasn't the same. You have to be aware of the consequences before you do something. And if it's just a ordinary talk with a friend, listen, respect and give your own opinion.
Yes or no ?

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