Sleeping disorder

Hello you all :)

Before I start this, I want you all to know that I know sleeping disorder is an actual disease and I'm not trying to make fun of anybody nor I wish to insult anyone in any way. Can I start now? Great. Oh, yeah. Also, before I start, I know I don't really have a sleeping disorder, it was just the perfect simple title to write. Now I'm starting. While I was in elementary school, I could stay up for hours and hours. Of course, as long as my parents would allow me to (till some age I don't remember). This became normal in high school. I would stay up really late and get up really early. And the great thing was I had no problems with it for four years. I would be a person going to school directly from a party. (This actually happened only twice.) Anyhow, 4 to 5 hours of sleep would be just enough for me. I'll just say that I slept for 17 hours and 50 minutes in a week (school trip) where a normal person sleeps for around 56 hours (7 days x 8 hours of sleep each day). I didn't have any problems or side effects. (I'm not saying you should try this neither that this is good for you. I worked like that.) I felt great being able to live like that. Of course, I liked it, so it had to stop. It all changed when I got into college. Every year has a different schedule and neither one of them was really good for me but they weren't too bad either. I have no idea what has happened but I don't have those superpowers of not sleeping any more. I will stay up late and I will get up early just because I have to. I did it before. The difference is, I get tired during the day and I didn't use to have that feeling. I would usually go through a crisis at one point in a day and afterwards I would be ready for whatever. Now I get tired and that feeling stays with me until I get to bed. Of course, then I can't fall asleep because my mind is messed up. I'm dead tired and my eyes hurt when I close them. Does this happen to anyone else? Of course, I'm blaming college for all of this. Haha. Maybe it's because the classes are really boring and either really early in the morning or late in the evening. Of course, there are those which last whole day. Oh, they're my favorite. With all this being said, I bet you're thinking I sleep in every chance I get. Wrong! I never sleep. OK, that's obviously a lie. I still sleep around 5 to 6 hours a day (sometimes more, sometimes less). I am tired but I don't sleep. Personally, I think sleep is a waste of time. And I can't sleep during the day. My brain knows it's day outside no matter how dark my room is and I can't sleep. And I don't want to. I have a night for that. And I like to stay up late watching something or reading. And I like to get up early so I wouldn't lose a day. So I'm, in general, tired. (But I'll never let it stop me from doing anything! I always overcome my tiredness.)
If you want to share your thoughts on sleep and being tired, please leave your comment below.

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Oh, that's me in class. It's everybody actually.

Read between the lines 3

Hello. It's been a long time since I wrote about songs, so I'm here to correct that mistake. (Read between the lines tag is on the right under "Labels".) This time, I won't write about powerful songs and their meaningful lyrics. Today my topic is s-e-x. I should probably tell you that this is not recommended for persons under the age of 12?

1. Extreme - More Than Words. He doesn't want her to say she loves him. She needs to prove him her love with something else than words. I won't say anything else.
2. Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax. Shoot in the right direction, go after your intention... But just relax. Don't do it. He's coming. Hmm, yeah, real relaxation song, right?
3. Flo Rida - Whistle. Oh seriously? You didn't see this one? Yeah, Flo Rida is not teaching us how to actually whistle. He was 33 when this song was released; I think he already knows how to whistle. There's some other thing people do with lips like that. And half-naked people in the video should have been only a confirmation.
4. The Pointer Sisters - I'm So Excited. Now, I love this song and I still sing it in any life moment when I'm excited about something but this is a song about that special night. If you ask me, this is a good song about it. It's actually teaching us there need to be feelings involved, it's OK to be nervous and excited. After all, you'll remember this your whole life.
5. Aqua - Barbie girl. She says she is blond bimbo girl and she wants him to dress in anything tight. He can touch her, play with her, do whatever he wants. And then: "Let us do it again"?
6. Christina Aguilera - Genie in a Bottle. She didn't do it quite a long time and now she is looking for a new guy. She is hormonal and can't wait for a song to be over so they can go. And before anything, he needs to make a right move and she has to like it. Also, he needs to rub her the right way...
7. Village People - YMCA. Well, of course. This is ultimate party song, but have you known what it is really about? As far as I know YMCA is a motel/hotel/something where young gay men would go to feel accepted and right. Now, I'm not getting into gay-OK or gay-not OK, but this is clearly a song about sex. It's being sung by 6 men in different suits (usually sexy - police officer, fire fighter, construction worker,...).
8. Donna Summer - Hot Stuff. This song doesn't have any hidden message. She is at home, bored, looking for somebody to have fun with. She is looking for a hot lover. And she needs it this evening!

All of the above.

Do tell me what you think about this and if you have any suggestions for new "Read between the lines" post, leave a comment below. You can either name some songs and I'll try to make a category for them or tell me the title and category and I'll put together a list.

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I can wear a hat now!

Hello :)

You all know (if you've been reading my blog) that I'm 20 years old. So this topic may be a bit strange to you but let's start at the beginning. For my whole life I've been stressing about what others thought of me. Don't get me wrong, it's still kinda important to me what others think of me, but now I'm almost a whole person and it's not likely I'll change anytime soon. But I'm not going to write about how I behave or what I think of myself. I am talking about my clothes. This has also been a topic of few of my posts. As I'm growing up, my style is changing. Not very drastically but there is some difference between now and then. I would see what is cool and modern and I would buy that but I would never wear it because I was worried I looked like a freak and people would stare at me. There aren't many pieces of clothing like this; I have one T-shirt, few blouses, one jeans... I also always wanted dresses which I've never worn because... I don't know why. Thankfully these weren't expensive stuff so I don't feel bad as much. However, I am pissed at myself for doing that. Now, after 20 years of living and, let's say, 10 years of picking out clothes on my own, I can proudly say I would wear a hat in public. You may think it's stupid, but wearing hats was a big deal to me. I have to brag a bit and say that I do look great with any kind of a hat, but lately I really want to get floppy or matine hat (this is taken from Google as I do not know any other hat name than fedora and cowboy). As I'm almost sure these are not real names of the hats, I'll put a picture below explaining what they should look like. (I just spend half an hour trying to find some legit classification but I couldn't. And I think it's all floppy hats and wide fedora, but what do I know. Pictures below.) Knowing my past with clothes, my mother does not believe me when I say I would actually wear it so she doesn't want to buy me one. Thank God I have my own money so I'll buy it myself. Of course, there are more on my wishlist but there's plenty of time to buy them all. Haha. Here are some other pieces I recently bought and I was once scared to wear them:

• "winter" dress with 3/4 sleeves (I wanted long sleeves, but I'll build up to it)
• over-the-knee socks (hopefully will look great with this dress and both high and low boots)
• dark red jeans
• sleeveless jacket but with fur (fake fur, of course)
• blazers (I have dark blue one, but I've really stepped out of my comfort zone with peach one)
• over-the-knee boots

Hats - round top (fedora style top acceptable), wide, one floppy, one firm.

Friends in the past

I'm going to write a bit about my friends from my past. Most of us just grew apart, but since we once had some kind of relationship, I can not leave them out of my Family and Friends series (link is to the intro post about this).

• Martha. She was once my best friend. I met her the first day of my elementary school. It didn't take us long to realize we were very much alike. Even though we spent every day together, true friendship was born around 4th grade (we were 10 or 11). We went everywhere together. I was more at her place than my own. We went all the way from walking with our dolls to make-up, boys and going out. Eventually, she changed and, I have to be honest, I didn't like the change. We still remained good friends with more visible dislikes more often. We finally parted somewhere in the first grade of high school (freshmen as you would say). I seriously think I need to call her.
• Petra and Joseph. They are brother ans sister. They are younger than me but we grew up together. They live in a village where my grandparents live so we spent every summer, winter and occasionally some other seasons together. It didn't matter that we haven't seen each other for the whole school semester because it was like I never left. We were together every day from 8 a.m. till 10 p.m. The only time I wasn't at their place was during lunch (if their grandma cooked something I didn't eat). Eventually our families got in a huge fight and we were kinda caught up in all that. Unfortunately, we haven't seen each other for about 7 years now. I still think about them. A lot.
• Antonija. (It's Anthony, only female.) She came into my class in the 5th grade if I'm not mistaken. She was the opposite of me. She was wild, kinda rude, a smoker, a bit of a darker,... I have no idea how, but we got really close. We could talk about almost anything. But our friendship was a bit weird, so to say. And then we got to high school. We haven't talked since.
• Mathea. She was my first best friend in my life. Those were the times when a doll and some leaves were enough to make us interested. We could make a game out of anything. We were about 7 to 9 years old when we hung out. I would go to her place very often. I still remember how her living room looked. What now puzzles me is whether she lived only with her grandma. At that point, I was too young to connect the dots or ask something like that. But now, as I remember it, I remember only her grandma always being around. She transferred to a different school in the time when we didn't have cell phones or Facebook or anything like that. I had her phone number only. I tried it few times and then gave up. I have no idea what's happened with her. (And I tried to find her on social networks. I didn't succeed.)

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I don't want to accept it.

10 things to know about Croatia and Croats

Hello :) Since I live here, it would only be fair to invite you to visit my beautiful country. But (there's always a "but"), before you do, here are some basic information you should know.

• Trivia. We are in Europe. The capital is Zagreb. We have 7 airports (not all in the link are international) so you can visit almost any part of Croatia. There are 3 parts: lowland (Slavonia), central  - Croatia proper (Zagreb and surroundings, Lika and Gorski kotar (Mountain district) and seaside (Istria, Kvarner and Dalmatia). Have in mind this isn't a legit division, it's only how I see it.
• Size. Croatia is a small country. And we know it. You do not have to point it out every few seconds. In spite of being small, Croatia has it all - sea, mountains and valleys. We have sun in the summer and snow in the winter. You could almost say we are perfect.
• Prices. Well it's not easy to talk about money but here's how I see it. For most of the Croats prices are high, but tourists usually do not have that problem. Everybody I've seen as a tourist in my country has said that prices are either really low or acceptable and reasonable.
• Languages. We do speak a lot of languages and we speak them quite well as Croats can adjust their pronunciation to almost any language. I'm not saying that every person knows 10 languages but we do try to speak the language you know if you ask us something (unlike for e.g. Italians who speak only Italian or French guys who won't say a word of any other language). However, older people probably don't know any other language than Croatian. Btw, Croatian is really hard to learn if you are a foreigner.
• Way of life. If you like to live in a rush, visit the capital - Zagreb. For more easy way of life, visit any other part of Croatia, preferably seaside (Dalmatia mostly). All jokes aside, this is actually a fact. People in Zagreb are way more active than other people (not referring to jogging or fitness). People in north Croatia (e.g. Zagorje and Međimurje) and east Croatia (Slavonia) work more in the fields and they are usually always doing something (job in the morning, taking care of domestic animals and field work in the afternoon - all day, every day).
• War. "Where were you in '91?" This is a question young generations take as a joke but to older people it actually can mean something. There was a war between Croats and Serbs (I'm not getting into this right now) but it was really important where you were in 1991. Be careful how and who you ask that question. Or don't bring it up at all!
• Nightlife. Croats do enjoy going out. Fridays and Saturdays are usual days to go out but since you get into college, you adjust your nights out according to your schedule. There's a great chance you'll see a bunch of people out on Monday, Thursday or any day for that matter.
• Religion. Croats are mostly Christian. We do not chase around people who are not Christian but it's still kinda strange if a person says they're different religion. This doesn't apply on tourists. We know tourists come from all around so we do not have any issues with different religions.
• Style. Most Croats have neutral style, if that means anything to you. I'm thinking jeans and a shirt. There are rockers, hippies, punkers, goth, emo and all other styles of life that you can imagine. We do not hate different people but we will look at you if your style isn't "neutral". Not because we don't approve, just because you're different. As we will look at you, we will also look away like nothing has happened.
• Coffee. Having a coffee with someone and sitting in a coffee shop for three hours is normal here. If you have that time. That's why the city is full in, usually, the Saturday morning. If you're looking for better prices of it, go in cafes which are not directly in the center of the city (e.g. main squares, near the sea).

I've put down 10 basic things you need to know. If you want to know anything else, fell free to comment below and ask anything. Have in mind that this doesn't apply to all Croats. This was written in general and mostly from my point of view. And, yes, I know I've written half of the names in Croatian half in English. Just let it be.

Just Google Croatia and you'll want to visit us!!

I will write another post about what to visit in Croatia and another one about what to visit in Zagreb as I live here.

Stay good till then. Bye :*

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Oh, my beautiful!

Today: 21.10.2015.

Doing: wasting my time watching TV (The Nanny is popular again) until I have to go to college

Mood: pretty good so far (staying positive!)

Favorite person: not sure yet, I'll find somebody at college

Thinking about: expanding my blog with some short videos (tell me if you would like that)

Missing: currently nothing (haven't had that feeling in a long time)

Loving: my paycheck (will come today or tomorrow)

Hating: that my paycheck isn't bigger haha

New discovery: great discounts in Muller stores (translate it into English)

Listening to: Rihanna - Please don't stop the music (getting back to the good old days) and VH1 channel

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Movie review: The DUFF

Hello :)

I don't know if you watched this or not, but here it comes. I have to warn you about spoilers. If you do not want to read spoilers and you want to know how I feel about the movie, scroll down to my impressions.

The Duff is relatively new (February 2015) teen film based on the novel written by Kody Keplinger. There are Mae Whitman as Bianca, Robbie Amell as Wesley and Bella Thorne as Madison. So, the movie starts with Bianca hanging with her friends Jess and Casey who are obviously more popular than her. She is also in touch with her neighbor and childhood friend Wesley. He is, of course, a school's football hero. As Bianca and Wes are talking in a hallway, Madison comes and kisses Wes stating that he is hers. Well, they are on-and-of all the time. This act did not bother Bianca as she has a crush on guitar player Toby. At one party, Wes discovers that Bianca is, in fact, the DUFF in her group. Designated Ugly Fat Friend. After being pissed off some time, Bianca asks Wes to help her quit being the DUFF. She needs his help, he needs her to pass science. Perfect deal. In all this process, she and Wes start to communicate more; they actually get to be good friends. This annoys Madison who doesn't miss an opportunity to turn the whole school to mock Bianca after one silly shopping time with Wes. After some time Bianca gets to go on a date with Toby but it turns out to be a total disaster. He is not the half of a man she thought he was. He accepted her invitation only to get some information about Jess and Casey. After finding this out, and seeing Wes kissing Madison at her favorite "thinking rock" that's supposed to be a secret, Bianca goes back to her real friends and her mom. They are preparing for homecoming dance and encourage Bianca to hold her head up high. At the dance, Wes is crowned king, Madison is crowned queen. In spite of everything, Wesley finally sees Bianca, turns down Madison and the title and kisses Bianca.

My impressions: I only went to see this movie because it's cheesy romantic one and it has Robbie in it. It turned out to be a good cheesy movie. Everything is pretty much predictable, but that's the whole point of romantic movies, right? It basically shows how teenagers (although played by Mae and Robbie who are both 27) can change over short period of time and how little it takes to destroy everything or to make everything the best it could be. You get me? I would recommend it if you're into this kind of movies, but people do say that the book is better. I wouldn't know.

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Designated Ugly Fat Friend

My father

Hello :) Intro post about all this is here.

So, my father... This should be a 1000 pages post to really explain what's going on here but I'll try to keep it simple. I was daddy's little girl for about half of my life (10-12 years); until I hit puberty. Now, I'm not saying that I started bi*ching around when I did hit puberty, but I started to see some things I didn't used to before and I started to think with my own head more. And my father apparently did not like it. That's where we started parting out ways. Everything he did annoyed me, everything I said annoyed him. We fought a lot. A lot! I cried for about 4 nights in a week. For sure. It was hard living like that. Knowing that my own father dislikes the real me. That he dislikes the fact that I'm standing up for myself and trying to explain who I am and what I do and don't like. He basically didn't like anything about me. Now I'm thinking it was either because we really were that different or because he didn't want me to grow up. I guess it could be a bit of both. Anyhow, we're far away from it and it's looking better now but I have a feeling that we'll never be as we used to. I can not go back with everything I know now. There are some things he does which I really can not approve and that won't change. And I can't change myself. I won't. I see him as a hypocrite and that's so annoying. I can not live with that and I have to. So I do my best. The good thing is I see him trying. He is trying to reach me, he's trying to find some common ground. And it's hard for me but I have to help him here. I don't want to live with somebody in a constant war. Me having some interests the same as him (e.g. riding a motorcycle) is helping our relationship. I think the major issue was the fact I was scared of him. He had so much power over me just by talking. When he raised his voice I immediately started crying. It was horrible experience. One of the worst feelings I ever had. Good thing is that I'm overcoming my fear. It has been happening over some years now and I'm more and more satisfied with my life and my decisions. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself anymore. More or less. I actually think he's proud of me now. Every now and then, I get this vibe from him and that makes me extremely happy. It is the best feeling after all that we've been through. The time will tell but I really hope we're done with all the sh*t.

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My father. Oh boy...

Movie review: The Martian

Since this is a new movie (released on the 2nd of this month; so 11 days ago) I have to write "spoiler alert". If you don't want to know what's going on, this is your last chance to back out (you can read my impressions below to see whether you wanna see it or not).

So, The Martian movie starts with a space squad having some trouble on Mars and they are preparing to leave their expedition earlier than expected. They are going, going, aand no. One of the guys, astronaut Mark Watney (played by Matt Damon) is hit by some piece of something in the storm and they all think he died. They leave the Mars. After a while, Mark wakes up with very little oxygen left and badly injured. He manages to sew himself, took care of the injury and then he starts to make a plan on how he will survive there by himself. He knows he has 4 more years until another expedition comes to Mars and they will not land where he is, but he needs to find a way to transport himself to the place. Fortunately, he had maps and computers and all the needed equipment that his crew left behind. Thank God he is also a botanist and mechanical engineer so he finds a way to grow potatoes. It sucks that potatoes are kinda the only thing he can eat, but, at least, he's not starving. Anyhow, his methods of surviving are really amazing: growing potatoes from their own sh*t on the planet without water with only some nylon and a bit of fire, sealing the room with only duct-tape, maximizing the endurance of the "car" with unused solar panels,... His inventions are, of course, only in the movie, but that doesn't make them any less interesting. After some time he manages to contact Earth and NASA and his crew decides (against NASA's orders) to go and save him. There are major complications while the rescue and this moment really made me hold my breath. It all ends up good.

My impressions. Movie is really long (144 minutes) but it's so interesting you have a feeling it lasts about 40 minutes. I thought it could be kinda boring because it's basically one man show on a freaking Mars but it keeps your concentration the whole time on the screen. Matt Damon did a great job here. The movie is funny and emotional and with great message not to give up. I would definitely recommend this movie!!

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Bring our boy back!

Today: 11.10.2015.

Doing: shopping! I did it yesterday (clothes), I did it today (furniture)

Mood: great actually

Favorite person: my mum

Thinking about: new job, money maybe, nothing in particular

Missing: new ideas for nail art (you're very welcome to give me some)

Loving: my new nail art pen and my new furniture that's being set in few days

Hating: that it's the end of the Sunday already

New discovery: nail art pen by Essence

Listening to: Rachel Platten - Fight Song for about 2 weeks now non-stop

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My mother

Here's a second post to my Family and friends theme. Intro post here.

So, my mom. She is my sunshine. That should be enough to describe her. She is always there for me. She is always on my side, no matter what. I know that it's not easy for her every time to do that, that's why I appreciate it even more. Of course, we have arguments (fights sounded so harsh) every now and then, but we make peace really soon. Maybe it's because we're so connected and we can't live one without another. She annoys me, I annoy her. And we still love each other. That's how it goes. The truth is, she is my (and the whole family's) rock. We couldn't make it without her. She keeps everything in order. She does everything and she does it the best she can. And we do not give her enough credit. It's like she is supposed to clean, cook, go here and there, do this and that... But she's not. She does that and she says she doesn't mind but I know her. She would rather be cuddled in bed watching TV. We are certainly not saying "Thank you" enough. I'm trying to change myself in that way, but it's hard after all these years (I know how this sounds right now and this probably makes me a terrible child). She is so modest, simple, calm,... She is everything that is good. She is independent, not shy at all, strong, caring, understanding,... I know this is mostly every mom, but from my point of view, this is her. And she is so proud of me. I can feel it. The only thing that scares me is that she has this big expectations for my future and I'm afraid I will not be able to accomplish everything she wants me to be. (To be clear, she wants me to succeed in my college/job, have a family,... Basically everything I want.) I'm always trying to prepare her that my future might not go as we all planned and it's like she won't even accept the possibility. On one hand, I understand she doesn't want to give up the idea of me being great, but on the other, she needs to realize that life doesn't go by plan. The hardest thing to deal with is my mom crying. I don't see her often, I think I only saw her crying like 5 times in my life, but those times are really the hardest. Being a rock all the time can't be easy. She has to break some time. But I can't handle it. I won't accept it. Also, her being sick. How can a mom be sick?!? Not to make this a post too long, I'll wrap it up with only one sentence: Thank you, mom! Love you.

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Gotta love mom!!

My weird self

Hi :)

As you'll go through this, one will say: "Whaat?". The other will say: "Oh, me too". So here are some facts about me that I find strange.

• I shower with mostly really hot water. Some people would get third-degree burns, but not me. I'm not even cold, I just like hot water (only in the shower).
• I'm always thirsty when I get out of the shower. A glass of water is the first thing on my mind.
• I'm also always thirsty after I eat an ice-cream. It doesn't matter which one, I need a drink.
• When it comes to being cold (autumn/winter time), I'm a chameleon. I can go outside with short sleeves. I will be freezing for about 5 minutes and then I'm good to go anywhere without feeling cold. I actually love this.
• I love being wet from rain (mostly if I'm going home). Not that I'll ever admit this (of course, I just wrote it down for the world to see it) but I'm not nervous at all. I smile and eventually start laughing at myself and I enjoy it!
• One more fact about my shower. I drink warm (this time not boiling hot) water. During every shower I drink up to three sips of warm water. I have no idea how this started and why.
• I make a lot of lists. Even for the things I need to do tomorrow and there are only three things. I'm not obsessed with lists and I can live through everything without it, I just like to write. So I write the list.
• I can't walk in the rain like normal people. This really annoys my mom when I get home soaking wet and I have boots and umbrella. I always have my legs and arms fully wet. I can not explain it. (While my friends are almost completely dry.)
• I can't (I can, I don't want to) wear silver and gold together. It happens every now and then, but I always hope nobody notices it. If I have silver jewelry, I have to take a bag that has silver on it, not the one with gold. Same goes for the shoes, jackets...

I'm sure there are more of these, but for now this is all I can remember.

Bye :*

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Yeah...