25 January, 2017

Birthday funk?

Hello. I've had my birthday the other day and ever since I feel a bit down. I wanted to plan something for my friends to celebrate, but I struggle with money and time. Every year, my birthday comes in the time of finals and everybody is usually busy. I was going to celebrate with my friend, but he's not up for it anymore and I can't do it all by myself so that's off. I also had a great idea to spend a day at a pool with my other friends, but I can't afford it. And it makes me so freaking sad. I would usually be totally OK with lunch or dinner cause we've done that before and that's my chance to glam up and be all fancy. But since I had this idea, I can't let it go. I'm still not sure what I'll do with them. Also, the biggest reason why I feel down is the fact that birthdays suck when you're older. On the day of my birthday, I woke up at 7 a.m., the house was already empty. I went to college to write an exam, I came hope around 6 p.m. The house was still empty. My parents came home around 8 p.m. There's a lot happening in our family right now, so my mom hadn't had the time to bake a cake (and I suck at it if you're wondering why I didn't bake it myself). This is the first birthday ever (!!) that I didn't have a cake. They bought me some frozen one, ice-cream cake. And it's tasty, but it's not a real cake. And I sound like a spoiled brat, but it really made me sad. Also, they got me a Swarovski necklace (they know I love Swarovski), but it's so not me. They were buying it in a hurry and I realize that, and I will wear it proudly, but... I don't even know. Once my parents got home, we ate cake and then, 20 minutes later, I went back to studying. There was no birthday for me. And I can't even celebrate it with my friends.
There was one birthday so far that I didn't had the chance to celebrate and I still think about it (too much). And I know I'll think about this one as well cause I'm the person who wants to take my friends somewhere and I want to have a good time with them. I want to celebrate birthdays.
So much for happy...

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