Am I the only one...?

Hello :) How are you? All good? Great.

So, you've all noticed that it is so so popular to start a sentence with the words "am I the only one"... This is even popular in the virtual world, read - Facebook. Pictures, statuses, groups... Everybody is the "only one". As I like to read the comments, I've noticed that people get really annoyed when somebody uses these words for starting a statement. And I can really get why is that. Of course that you can't be the only one. In a world of 7.125 billion people (and rising) you can't be the only one who drinks juice right after getting up, the only one who dances in the shower or the only one who doesn't like to eat the cream of the cookie by itself. People use this to emphasize that they are in minority. And that's all there is to it. I don't understand why would anyone get irritated by this? Because I'm sure that everyone used this at least once in their lives. With "am I the only one" we attract the attention to whatever that is that we do kinda differently. And by reading stuff like this, we can just see how much people are alike. Unknown people thinking the same, doing the same thing. There is something really popular in your neighborhood and you think you are the only one who noticed it. You post it on Facebook and realize there's a guy/girl on the other side of the world with that same routine. I think that's pretty amazing. If I think about it a bit more, it's not so so amazing because I already said you can't be the only one in the 7 billion people, but it's still pretty amazing. (If you can see the difference between "so so amazing" and "pretty amazing".) So, what I'm trying to say here... Don't get pissed over something like this. It's great to see how people talk, move, think on the other side of this ball we call the Earth. Maybe you'll find your soul mate, you never know. ;)

Bye bye

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P.S. I'm sorry for the bad photo combining. There's something wrong with my PhotoScape.

So, am I the only one??

Never to forget!

Hello everyone.

On this day, 18.11. 1991., 23 years ago, one town in my country fell under the force of the enemies. Vukovar. It was heavily damaged during our Croatian War of Independence. More than 1600 people died, and more than 1200 people were injured. It was the worst battle since those seen in the World War II. About 2000 Croats were defending the city against approximately 36000 Serbs. We lasted for 87 days and then Vukovar was overrun. Thousands of people who have survived had to leave, not knowing their future. So many lost lives, so many survivors that will have this picture in their mind forever. Every year, there's a silent column to commemorate those who gave their lives for us. For our better future.

All I have to say today is that I'm so very much grateful for our heroes. They will live forever. As long as there are Croats, they will live. Our heroes. Our Vukovar. Our country. Thank you! Today we pray for them, for their families. For our Croatia. This is a day of remembrance.

Also, there is a tradition, since almost every city in our country has a street names after this town of Vukovar, to light up candles on those streets. I live in the capital city and I really have to say it was beautiful. So many candles. So much light in the dark. There's nothing like it. My heart was skupping beats as I was going down that street.

Proud to be Croat!!

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Graveyard in Vukovar.

Streets all over Croatia.

It is coming...!

Hello :D

Have you noticed Christmas is coming? Yep, November started and everything is "beginning to look a lot like Christmas"... It is absolutely my favorite time of the year. I just love to watch the snow fall, all white outside, to cover with big blanket, watch TV with a cup of hot cocoa in my hands... Or, I love to put on warm sweater, boots and go outside on the perfect white day. Commercials (Coca-Cola has the best ones!) are also already in the Christmas mood, stores are decorated... Everything is already prepared for this big and wonderful holiday. But I think this is wrong in one way. It's November, people! For God's sake. I would be OK with Christmas season starting on the first of December. It's almost known as "Christmas month". So, that would be OK, but this is just too much. As much as I like to see decorated town, it makes people look on Christmas differently. It's all about buying stuff and, since it's all prepared in the beginning of November, the big holiday fades away. Christmas used to be emphasized only a week or two before the big date and that's it. Now we have Christmas for two and a half months in a year. That's not right, right? Like everything in this world and these days, Christmas is all about making money. Charities, buying gifts, "special" offers... No, people, no! I was about to say that's it's OK in case you want to buy something for your loved ones, but I just realized that's the same thing. Everybody is buying something for someone. I can't really be sure what to think about all of this, but I do know one thing: Christmas is in late December, act like that!

Merry... Oh wait... Bye ;)

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P.S. This is a real Internet page. Not a virus. Type: www.isitchristmas.com and you'll get the answer "NO". ("Ne" means "no" in Croatian.)

Not yet!

Boyfriend manners

Hello :)

I finally did what I'm always talking about doing - I wrote down my topics and now I can easily write for few days in a row. Great, huh?

Keep in mind that I am aware of the fact that I don't have a boyfriend before you write it down in the comments. So here I go... I've been watching lots of couples on the streets and I've noticed few patterns. Guys are carrying girls' bags and coats, umbrellas over their heads, standing in front of a very very pink store window and all for her. Also, when it's freezing outside it's kinda normal for a guy to give his jacket to her. And this is my point of view... If you decide to bring a bag with you, you carry it! Nobody pushed you to take it and fill it with bulls*it. It didn't become so heavy or big by itself. I can't see why a guy should carry your stuff. Next. If it's cold, bring a coat. If it gets warmer, carry it. Put it in the bag if it fits. Anything. But you are responsible for your own stuff. Next. I can "forgive" umbrellas because couples usually take only one and the guy is usually taller, so I guess it's fine. Next. If you see something really great in the store, go check it out. But don't just pointlessly stand there while he's waiting and clearly not amused. Do what you need to do and move on. Next. If you're going out, check the weather forecast. They usually know whether you'll need the jacket or not. Listen to them. And if you still don't bring your jacket, when it gets really cold go somewhere indoors. Or go home. There's no need for him to get pneumonia. And now the other side... I know all of these actions that he does are really romantic and sweet, but they are simply unnecessary if you prepare correctly. Maybe they need, from time to time, to feel useful, protective and like saviors, but some things love does are just stupid. We'll never understand it. Just accept it. I can even go pass the pink windows and jackets, but carrying something for her (except the really heavy bags e.g. from the store) no. That's, of course, just me. Couples. She likes to be handled like a queen, guy likes to treat her like one. It's kinda the way it should be, just don't go overboard.

Have fun. Love each other. Respect each other.

Bye :*

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I swear it's my girlfriend's. Yeah right. ;)

Incoming grandparents: Reactions

Hey.

I'm a day late with this one, but you'll forgive me, right? This is the last post about my grandparents. I think. For now. So... Having strangers walking through your apartment isn't fun. In all this time I haven't called them "grandparents" once! I just randomly say: "Who wants water?" or something like that. I can't say "grandma" and "grandpa" to them. It's not even fair to my "real" grandparents from my mother's side who were there with me and for me my whole life. I find it hard to call them like that even when I'm talking to my friends. They are unknown people to us. And they were living here for three days. It's not that easy. Not as it seems. As weird as this whole experience was, my father and aunt made it the weirdest ever. I told my mom that this is probably the worst weekend I ever lived through. This could have been so much easier if my father was more normal. My mom told him that he and his sister are so much worse than their parents. (Because my father thinks he's so much better than them.) These three days wouldn't be as bad as they were, but these fights all the time were just too much. I can't understand how my father and aunt could act like this. I mean, they haven't seen their parents in few years (my aunt went to see them 3 times, and my father once in these 23 years of how long they haven't been living here). I know it's hard to deal with old people, technology has run them over, they can't hear or see as they used to, they wander and can't stay concentrated as long as we expect them to... It's annoying but normal. No need to yell at them. I get really annoyed by my grandparent when they figure something out, but I understand. My father doesn't. I don't think I ever spoke more badly of my father than in these few last posts. Last two weeks or more, I saw that we bonded a bit, everything was going good. Why? Because I decided to let go. I decided that I'll try to forget all of his stupid actions. And that's the only way for us to function, if I play dumb and by his rules. I can't say I was fine with it, but it broke the the tensions in the house so I was happier. After this, I can't even function like before. I also think these were the posts that I let you in the most. This is basically my every day. Tensions, crying, worrying. My father. And I'm only 20. Actually 19 and 10/12. Shouldn't I still be carefree? I know I shouldn't be pushed down by my father for sure.

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Don't you ever forget this!!! It must be earned.

Incoming grandparents: Day 3

Hello.

Quick intro: My grandparents whom I haven't seen 10 years are here. The saga continues. So, my grandparents decided (we all did) to spend the last whole day at my aunt's place. She made lunch just how I like it. Thank you aunty. And I realized that I really bonded with my cousin over the past few years. We were once really apart and not family-like at all. All of this brought us even more together because we're all feeling the same. My brother, cousin and me. Back to the lunch... My aunt owns a cat. And she is so in love with that cat. And can be really really really pushy with it. She's gonna make you love it in 5 seconds. At least, she'll try to. And my mother, grandpa and father hate cats. Well, hate is a strong word, but once they see a cat in the kitchen, on the table, they freak. I mean, we all do, but not as much. I am totally a dog person, but I like cats too. No matter my love for them, they can't be on the table, in the kitchen in general and on the bed. So, to sum this up, they immediately had a fight over that cat. Over the lunch that lasted for maybe 4 hours, how long I stayed there (I went home earlier to study), they had numerous fights about everything. I have to admit that my aunt let herself go after her divorce and she really doesn't look like much. Her parents tried to tell her that nicely, but didn't succeed, and that fight was the biggest. There are lots of reasons for my aunt being like this, but the point is the fight. After about two hours of me being home alone, my family came back. My mom left me all alone with them because she had to go to work, night shift. So they yelled a bit more. And more. And more. And then I went to sleep. I thought I would get some sleep before waking up at 6 a.m. this morning. But no. They just wouldn't shut up. And I felt uncomfortable to say anything to them because they were here only for three and a half days... So I kept my mouth shut. I fell asleep at about 1 a.m. Great. My father yelled in one moment: "She doesn't mind the laud music!" referring to me. Do you even know me? I mind everything when I sleep. I am a really light sleeper and I mind music and voices and birds... Everything. But don't mind me dad. In meantime, as I was listening to all of that, I started crying. I felt so bad for my mom. And for me and my brother. I really do think my mom loved my father when they got married. But these few last years I think she's making huge compromises that she shouldn't do. I don't think she's happy with him. And that kills me. My father is really short tempered, while my mom has huge patience. And that's how they work.

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Panicked but survived!!

Incoming grandparents: Day 2

Hi.

Just a quick introduction to the story: my grandparents, whom I haven't seen for 10 years, are here, in my home. And this is the second day. How is is going so far? Weird. In one word, weird. I have no idea what to talk about, what to ask, how to act. All of my fears and predictions from the last post came true. My brother doesn't like them very much, so it's even weirder when he's around. They have some issues from the past, no need to go there now... Anyhow, we've been hanging a lot with our aunt too, and our cousin. As you may know, my father has a very quick temper. Too quick if you ask me. My aunt too. Blood is not water, as they say... And my grandparents are obviously old and they need more time to connect the dots and figure something out. Moreover, they can't see or hear right. Years caught up with them. You have to show them everything twice or three times, repeat everything few times... It's not easy, but it's normal. For some reason, my aunt and father can't understand them. We all had lunch today. They had about 6 fights in 5 hours... And, as I told my mom today, my biggest surprise, if I can even call it a surprise, is my father. He's making the whole thing even more awkward. And the little respect I had for him so far, I lost it. Every time my mom told me I can't behave like that, I can't be rude to my father, I felt guilty, sad. I won't anymore. I know it's hard when your own child doesn't respect you or even care for you at some moments, but respect has to be earned. And after I saw how he treats his parents, I'm so done with it. So, you could say that this was awkwardly good day. I am finally free. We still have tomorrow and half of Monday. We'll see how that goes.

Bye :)

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Still holding!!

Incoming grandparents

Hey you :)

I only have an hour of freedom so I have to type fast. What am I talking about? My grandparents are coming and they're staying at our place for a few days. That normally wouldn't be a problem, but we don't have typical grandparents-granddaughter relationship. We haven't seen each other for about 10 years. There are few reasons why, I won't get into that. We talk on the phone once a month and on birthdays and holidays, but that's not really a relationship we should have. I know I'm blood related to them, and that's pretty much all I can feel for them. They're not really my grandparents. And I have no idea how to act around them, what to say, what to ask... I can't ask "What's new?" because I don't even know what's old. I know almost nothing about them. Last time they (actually only grandma) visited, she stayed at my aunt's place and we only went there for two days. And I was too little to know what awkward is. I only cared for the golden pendant she gave me. I'm over that material phase, so now I have to bond with them. But how? I have to be polite, communicative and really happy they're here but I'm not. I don't have any other emotion than "awkward!". It was planned that me and my family go to them but something happened and now sides are reversed. I was looking forward to going to their place because I was interested. And I love traveling and sightseeing. And now I'm doomed. At least I feel like that. Please tell me what to do!! Like awkwardness isn't enough, I have a big test on Tuesday, so I really really need to study. And I'm going to feel really stupid for being closed in my room all weekend. But I have to have my priorities. And, unfortunately, they're not it. I'm connected to them only because of my father. I never actually needed them, I have my other grandparents, family, friends (...), so I can't say they weren't here when I needed them. They just weren't here. No feelings. I'll keep you posted!

Wish me luck, bye

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All blurry in my head.

(Bad) neighbors

Hello :)

Although, there is a movie with cute Zac Efron titled like this, this is a whole different story. Where do you live? In a house or a flat? I live in a building with 14 flats. Of course, I have neighbors. Most of them I don't even know to be honest. They are either much older than me or ones who move a lot so they spend a month in this building and then they're gone. I have my favorite old neighbor that I simply call The Neighbor. She's just really nice old lady that I kinda consider my third grandma since she was the one who welcomed me home every day from school. Than I have this older guy that is my father's friend from childhood actually. He is also really sweet. And, since he's an artist, I get lots of his crafts (magnets, few necklaces, souvenirs...). That's about it who I actually love from this building. Others just say "Hi.", I say "Hi." back and that's it. And there are those new neighbors. New is relative term here. They've been here for about a year, maybe more. And I hate them all more and more by the day. There are husband and wife with three girls there. Two of them are in elementary school, one started high school a year ago (?). Never mind actually. They annoy me and The Neighbor. There are three flats on each floor. So, we're all on the ground floor. Yaay us. These five people have the urge to yell every night from 10 p.m. till about 2 or 3 in the morning. Every single day. I know they're out most of the day so it's kinda expected to find people at home late at night. But they're either fighting every day or just talking. It's the same for them. They yell. All the time. And early in the morning. Oh God. Six a.m. on Sunday. Seriously? Go to sleep. Or go to church. Do whatever you want just be quiet. I bang on the wall every night in hope they'll get the hint. My arm is blue. I can't do it anymore. So I just switch rooms, I go to my brother's room since he's not here. I don't know anything about them. I don't want to know. I don't care. But, whatever their story is, they should be aware that they are not alone here. The Neighbor told them everything and you would think that it would be enough for normal people to get it. But not them. It's a freaking building! We have some lousy rules about noise, but we still have them. No yelling after 10 (I think) p.m. and before 7 a.m. (again, I think). Having a flat means not being alone. Although, you should be able to do whatever you want in your own apartment, it's so not OK to the others living here. I really hope you'll never get neighbors like this.

Bye...

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Totally.

Friends are family

Hello lovely readers! Sorry for not writing in a while. I don't have actually any reason for it, so I hope it won't happen again... I'l write my topics on a napkin if I have to. ;)

First of all, I have to brag a bit and say that Cristiano Ronaldo, himself, re-tweeted me and favorited like 5 to 6 times. I'm not even sure now, but I know this is a big thing for me since I'm a fan. No, I'm not one of those who will talk about this for years now to everyone I see, don't worry... What next? Oh yeah. My topic. I've always known that having great friends means the world. Without friends you have the feeling you haven't accomplished anything in life. At least, most of it doesn't matter as much. This time I'm leaving out the family factor, so don't mind if I say friends are everything. Of course, family is everything too. Anyhow, I had a really really bad day yesterday. I was angry at myself, disappointed, I cried. In public. And I never ever (!) do that. I didn't actually cry, my eyes were just a bit wet. It all happened at college and I realized then that I have wonderful friends. So this is for them. For Three who was there first, who tried to make me feel as comfortable as I could be. For Maggy who didn't ask a whole bunch of questions, who understood without a word. Even better because we were surrounded by other people whom I can't really call my group of friends. Nothing against them, they're just not my first choice when it comes to friends. But most of all I would like to thank Joan who sacrificed her free time to be with me. And that happened after I called out of the blue. That really counts! We spent 5 hours (?) together and in that time I forgot everything. Of course those feelings came back eventually, but in those few hours I was free of it. As we were going home, I meant to tell her "Thanks." but my stupid brain forgot it as I was catching a bus. Anyhow, thank you Joan. Not only for yesterday. For being my friend for 5 years now. I couldn't imagine my life without you. Not to stop there, I have one more friend who wasn't involved yesterday but deserves to be thanked. Thank you Dorchy. For being there in all my "failed love" feelings (who were so stupid I know, but she stood by my side!). Thank you both for making me laugh. For making me happy, especially on the days when I feel like I'm going to fall apart. You have that something that makes my life better. I think all should be this lucky to have friends like I have mine. Thank you. Love you.

P.S. I apologize to my readers if they think this is not for a blog but for a personal letter, but I think great friends deserve to be thanked publicly.

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There isn't picture pretty enough for my friends, but this will do it :)