16 May, 2014

Play the music!

I actually don't know how to describe this day. In this 14 hours that I've been awake till now, my day had ups and downs. It rarely happens in one day that you feel pure happiness and terrible sadness. I woke up happier than usual since I didn't have to get up early as usual. Next, I spent few hours with my, now, dear friends and I actually had fun. Since I'm a larger person (I don't like the term fat), I always think people only see my body and not me beneath me. So, I'm very grateful that those people gave me a chance and that I actually think that I found friends for life in high school and in college. The point is, I had fun in the first part of my day and I was happy. Later I remained happy because I went shopping. I'm not really sure if I'm totally happy with what I bought since I have to see how it matches the rest of my wardrobe, but I'm pretty satisfied. But something very wrong happened now, in the evening. I watched The Vampire Diaries and, for all those who watch it, Damon died. Not important if you're not watching it. The point is that I started crying. Yes, I hate the fact that my favorite character died but it seemed like I cried for more than that. I cried for the fact that no one ever told me that he loves me (like Damon did just now). No one ever felt for me anything even remotely close to what we see on TV. And than I started thinking... It's a terrible idea to think about anything when you're sad. I thought about this guy at my college. Probably the most down-to-Earth guy I've ever seen. So ambitious, strong, persistent, smart, funny... And for this one I can honestly say I don't feel anything, I just really admire him. He has everything I want actually. Good, long relationship, good grades, great friends, tons of talents and I discover a new one every day... I don't know why but his life came up to my mind firs when I was sad... I guess I'm wondering if I'm ever going to have that. Anyhow, to  explain the title... Anything that helps in the situation like this is music. Sad music to start with and to express all your emotions. Later comes the live, happy and music for dancing! So turn the volume up and let the music take you to a better place!!!
Music !!!!!!!!!!


  1. Anonymous18/5/14 22:40

    Okay firstly, hold on to your friends, it is a blessing to have them. Next, dear, Damon is a FICTIONAL don't love him, and he doesn't love you, you just love the thought of him loving you. So i didn't really get the part when he says he loves you?!? Stop living in fantasy world and expecting typicall TV life (and love) because it's called acting out a script and real life doesn't work that way. Sorry for the tough love

  2. I know I am blessed to have friends :)
    Oh, you got me all wrong about Damon hahah I realized now that I maybe wrote it a bit messed up. To explain, I didn't say I love Damon (although I love his character ;) ) or that he loves me (he said it to Elena if you're watching it). I'm old enough to know that I can't fall in love with somebody on TV, real person or fictional character. I just said that I WISH I could have what actors usually have on TV (don't we all), and since I was watching The Vampire Diaries, Damon popped first to my mind. I also said that I admire that guy from my college... So the whole point of my post was supposed to be the fact that I want a full life too. (And, yes, I know I'll have to make it happen on my own.) :))
    It's OK, although you do seem to have a lot of anger towards my post. I hope I cleared it out.
    Thanks for commenting though. It's nice to know that somebody cares :)

  3. Anonymous19/5/14 10:39

    Oh no, there's no anger towards the post. Just the fact that you're taking TV shows too personaly is not healthy. I know when your favourite character dies it is sad but not end of the world and it shouldn't ruin part of your day. Of course it would be great to have what characters have on TV, not actors like you said 'cause they're not living those lives, but that is fictional and it is made to be liked and wished for by the audience.

  4. I am fully aware of that. I don't think I take them too personally,although maybe that's not completely visible in my posts... I'm only dreaming... I think that's OK :)
    and I didn't cry as much for Damon, but his death triggered something in me and I cried for a lot of things. It just piled up over the time and I had to let it go. I'm good now :D