YouTube/blogging vs. real job

Now I already expect a ton of hate towards this post especially if I dare to call myself a 'blogger', but it's OK. I hope I'll get my point across here. First of all, I will say that I'm currently unemployed, my parents work really hard for average (or even below average paycheck) and we're living from month to month which I think is the worst.

My blog definitely isn't in that category...

With YouTube getting a swing and becoming more popular by the day, also with all the bloggers coming out and getting famous I can't stop thinking about it being a real job. I'll first comment on this part. I know from my own experience that having a blog can be a pain in the ass and it's really time consuming. I have what I call 'a hobby blog' and I know it could probably be much more popular and better, but I like it the way it is. However if you have a blog that's supposed to be your main income source you have to invest much more time and effort in it. The same goes for YouTube of course.

I'm not saying influencers (I'll call it that so I don't have to write youtubers and bloggers all the time) don't work a lot on their content and there's a reason why some people made it so far. You can see their passion and effort in their content.

They shouldn't get all those brand deals, all the fame.

However, the money they have is not proportional. If you look at it, all they do is take photos or film videos for the world to see. Again, I know there's editing, promotion and all that, but it's still just a bunch of photos and few words on the Internet. These people are paid SO much to say some T-shirt is well made or some eyeliner is pitch black, to literally put on make-up or just to film themselves eat. Don't get me wrong, of course I follow some youtubers and bloggers and I love some content, but they sure don't deserve the money they get. This sounds harsh, but let's compare.

I know the world isn't fair, but this is just ridiculous.

One blogger charges up to $1000 for a review of some site, some youtuber charges $500 for a single shout-out... One football player is paid $100,000 for a game. And then... One nurse is paid $1000 for a month of their work, one sales person is paid $800 for their monthly work. One firefighter that endangers their life is paid around $1000 for a month.

I'm not going to get into this too much, but there's no way you can justify this to me. This is not just related to influencers. This goes for, as I mentioned, sports men and women, actors, singers and all those popular people. How can someone who sings have more money then people that invent cures for diseases? Or more than construction workers without who we would actually live on the street? You see my problem here?

What's your opinion? I would really start a discussion in the comments!

My emo phase

Picture this. The year is 2007, I'm in the 7th grade of elementary school, my best friend just turned emo out of nowhere, she's becoming popular and I'm left behind. One day I decide to fit in no matter what so I turn emo too.

I never knew what emo really was.

I changed all my colorful clothes for black pieces, I stopped wearing shiny jewelry and I even added a black liner in my bottom waterline. It was safe to say I went all out at that age. I also had one other friend who was probably a rocker or punker or whatever she was, but for elementary school she was a very popular kid. Too bad I realized she was just using me, but that's another story. At that age (and still today a bit) I really wanted to fit in with the cool kids. You know, like in the shows I watched. So I transformed myself into 'emo' without really knowing what it was. I thought it was just black clothes and crazy hair with neon accessories.

Then I saw the scars and blood.

After few months of trying to be someone I'm not and everybody realizing I was just copying my friend for attention, I felt like sh*t. I didn't know how to change back so I stayed like that for the entire year, until summer breaks. Some time in that period I also got closer to my friend again and she opened up about her cutting herself. However this may sound, to be completely honest I didn't buy her story and I honestly think she did it just for the attention. I don't think she had any deeper problems and I don't think she did it for the relief or whatever it was supposed to provide her. I know how this may sound to you, but I knew this girl for 6 years then, since we started school. We were together every single day almost every day. I knew her, her family and distant relatives. I think she went through something like puberty, but not life crisis like she was portraying.

And I was young and stupid so I followed.

As she was being cool and everybody talked about her, I wanted it too. So young and really really stupid me thought it would be a good idea to follow her footsteps - all the way. Thankfully enough I wasn't stupid enough to take the blade of any kind. Instead I took a pencil. Mechanical pencil to be exact. I took the metal part on top and I scratched my skin in different shapes and letters. Even then I think I just wanted a tattoo so I did that. However, I never did it in any visible places. I scratched my leg or upper arm if I wore long sleeves. Also, it's important to mention that it never actually got bad. I have way worse scratches now from my dog or just because I'm clumsy so you don't have to be worried about my young self.

I made up reasons.

With me being stupid, I also made up reasons why I should be sad because that was obviously cool. How many times can I emphasize I was stupid and all of this is just crazy stupid. However, what I later realized, she wasn't cool. She was different and interesting and that's why everybody talked about her. If I only realized that sooner, I would be myself and I would try to make friends as being me. At that point in my life nobody knew who I was. Hell, I didn't know who I was. And even though I was about 13 and not supposed to have my life figured out, I think I should have known what I like and what I don't like, who I want to spend my time with, etc.

If you're curious who this girl is, she's Martha from Friends in the past post.

Do you have some embarrassing phase of your life? Please say you do haha

NO to grand public signs of affection

Wow, that sounds harsh, right? "NO." OK, chill... Recently I've been in some mood for romantic movies, which, for me is all the time, but I actually got some time and sat down and watched few of those. Of course, I formed so many opinions. If you want to read any reviews or opinions on movies or shows such as 50 Shades Freed or The Vampire Diaries, you can find them all under the tab "TV reviews".

Some of the movies I really like have one flaw. They have that one scene where one person shows their love for another in front of million people. I can't express enough how much I hate it. I'm a huge romance fan and I love mushy things when it comes to relationships and I honestly feel like this takes away from the romance.

I don't have anything against showing love, but there's a time and place for everything.

There's a difference between holding hands in public and telling your significant other you can't live without them at a football stadium. Ever since I can remember, those scenes made me cringe so hard (and I never use the word cringe so you know I'm serious). Maybe it's because I'm quite shy and don't want to be in a center of attention so I know I would be SO embarrassed and uncomfortable if anyone did it to me.

You can never be 100% sure they'll respond the way you want them too.

I honestly don't know how people aren't scared to do this. I know you should take risks when it comes to love I guess, but it's already scary enough to do some things privately. Adding hundreds or millions of people would throw me over the edge. Imagine you're going to propose to someone, you're at a concert and you just invited your significant other to the stage (the singer is obviously delighted by the idea of joining two people and making a better show with it). How can you be 100% sure they'll say "yes"? You can be together for 10 years and happier than ever and some sh*t can go wrong in that particular moment.

You're both on the spot...

And now you're both standing there, in front of everybody. OK, Landon is proposing to Jamie (yes, I'm a Walk To Remember fan, sue me). She'll maybe feel obligated to say "yes" and will think about it more because if she says "no", she'll be the devil here and he'll be the poor guy left in front of all these people. Even though people don't know their story, they'll make something up and in case the love isn't returned the way it is expected, someone is going to portrayed as an evil cupid.

...and now I can't enjoy the other thing cause I'm freaking engaged.

But let's say everything goes right. Landon proposes, Jamie says "yes" at the Backstreet Boys's concert. Now what? The chances are Jamie is going to cry about this and her make-up will probably be ruined or she'll just look like a mess. Happy mess, but still a mess. You're also now engaged and super emotional and excited and you're thinking about a 1000 things and you're also missing the concert.

You don't know anything about love so you're completely wrong.

I could be completely wrong. If you've been reading this blog, you should know that I never had a boyfriend so I didn't have the chance to experience any of these. However, if I ever find one, I really want him to read this so he wouldn't do this stupid mistake. Haha. I know it all changes when you're with the right person and in love, but I can't imagine ever wanting to be in the center of attention.

OK, let's see how many of us are there? Who's with me? And who loves these grand love ceremonies?

3 bullsh*ts you're frequently told!

I don't know why this pissed me off the way it did, but I heard a quote in a movie and that sparked this post you're reading right now. World today is full of motivational speakers and quotes that are supposed to make you feel much better, instantly. While I love those, there's also a level of bullsh*t in them.

Now, I'm not saying we should be pessimistic, which I often am when it comes to my life, but rather realistic. This post is not meant to crush your hopes and dreams, but I think these stuff are needed to be said. Well, they're my thoughts, so here you go...

Money isn't important. How many times have you heard this? Or maybe "it's not the most important thing"? I agree it shouldn't be on the top of your list cause money can really change a person for the worse, but let's be real for a moment. Money is in top 3, maybe top 5, for sure. At least, it should be. Why? Money can buy you everything. Happiness too. Health as well. Stability in life. Hear me out. I feel awesome when I wear new clothes that fit me well. I don't need it to be happy, but it helps. Someone is happy with new game, watch, car, whatever. And money can get it. Money can get you travels, visits to fun park with your loved ones... As far as health goes, people with a lot of money have way better chances in surviving the same disease as opposed to poor people. They're also more likely to have regular check-ups. Of course, there are things money can't buy, or it shouldn't buy, but all I'm saying is money is pretty high on the list of needs.

Live each day like it's your last. No. Just no. There's no way you could live like that. If I knew I only had one more day or a week, I definitely wouldn't save money, I wouldn't go to college/work, I wouldn't worry about my dentist appointment, etc. Normal people can't spend their days traveling, eating out and laying on the beach 24/7. People have responsibilities that can't be put on hold, especially people with kids or family of any kind where there's not just one person depending on themselves. People that say this have to live in some kind of a fairytale. You can argue this was meant in a way so people would take risks and opportunities they get, but most still need to reconsider and realize their priorities and stability in life.

A year ago, you wouldn't even dream of being where you are. OK, this is totally individual, but I know it's bullsh*t for me. I knew exactly where I would be now because my life is ordinary. It's school - college - work. All of my friends are the same, I'm struggling with all the same stuff as I have last year and I still have worries about my future just like I did a year ago. I would love to have that life-changing moment sometime, but I also realize that there's a 99% chance that my life won't go in that direction. I believe there's minority that can say they had this moment, but for most people it's all day-every day routine. Especially people with ordinary jobs; they can't really imagine blowing up like some YouTuber or model or actor can...

Do you agree with any of these? What would you add to the list?