25 September, 2015

My brother

Hello. This is first of my series posts about my relationships (intro post here).
I'll start with my favorite person in the whole wide world. My brother. If you have been reading my blog, I've mentioned him before. He is ambitious, smart, dedicated, persistent, loyal, outgoing, caring,... It seems like I could go on forever here. Of course, he gets on my nerves every now and then, as I'm sure I get on his. And that's perfectly fine. There is no relationship without a bit of arguing, right? He is my, to put it in just two words, role model. I often catch myself wanting to be him, wanting his life. Not so much because I'm unhappy with my own, but because his is better. (Please don't start with "love your life" and "you are you and you shouldn't be anything else". I know it; I'm just expressing how much I admire him). And here go my fears. I am worried that he doesn't think of me as high, I am afraid that I'm letting him down. I can not really express this the right way; if you have siblings you should be able to understand the need to impress them. Since my brother is really athletic (among million other things), I'm afraid that me being a bigger girl is making him, not really not proud (but that also), but uncomfortable. What more makes him uncomfortable, I think, is the fact that I'm total opposite of him when it comes to meeting people and being in groups. I'm the quiet one and I don't know really how to start a conversation or how to really be a part of a group. And he is the sweetest and invites me to hang with his friends. What is even weirder, I like them. I really like those guys and I have a feeling they like me too. And I still don't know how to be normal. Anyhow, not to make this about me... I love my brother. That's actually all that matters. Even if I'm not he's favorite person, like he is mine, that's fine. I also hope that we'll never grow apart. I know there will come a point in our lives where we will (hopefully) live with our own families but I still want us to be able to talk every day about random things, to be able to go somewhere and have a good time. When it comes to my brother, you could say I'm possessive. Not in a creepy ways (I don't think anybody notices it) but in a way where I think about just being the two of us for a while. That's why I have trouble with his girlfriends (not that I have ever shown them anything, I just have some thoughts...). Anyhow, this could go on forever if I picked only few favorite moments but let's keep it, more or less, short.
If you have siblings, please feel free to comment your relationship.
Till the next post, bye :*
True story.

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