25 August, 2016

Need to survive one more week!

Hi. I have a feeling it's been a long time since I posted something really personal (two months to be exact - post here). I rarely write down some specifics because I'm paranoid that some of my friends would find this blog and know it's me. Anyhow, today I'm gonna write everything down because I can't deal with this anymore.
So I'm doing a paper for college; it's the most important paper I had to do so far and I can't finish college without it. To finish it, I need to consult my professor every once in a while and he needs to approve it. Otherwise, without his signature, I can't finish college. He is the most idiotic person ever! I can say now I hate him. I do. Every time I go there for him to check my work, he finds something new that should be changed. Why can't he find all mistakes at once for me to correct them?? Every single time it's something new. And I should turn in this paper in 4 days, with all documentation and a presentation which follows my paper. And I don't think I'll be able to do so because he's still finding some new things he doesn't like. Now, I can't really tell you exactly how I feel, I can't write it all down. I'll just say I cried my eyes out today when I got his mail. I can't do this anymore. It's so stressing me out that I can't even watch my TV shows or eat or even sleep without thinking about this. I'm taking sleeping pills for the past 2 weeks, I think, because I'm so stressed out. I'm shaking most of the time and I can't relax. I was meeting my friends for a coffee yesterday and it was all great, but I thought about this every single second, in between every spoken sentence. He's a perfectionist, I would say, but he can't realize that I don't have that experience and he should guide me through it. He says something is wrong and I need to change it, but he doesn't say how or what should I do. Than I change it couple million times and he's still not satisfied. I have no idea how this will turn out and what will happen with the rest of my education as it all depends on this one paper. Fun, right? I'm writing this right before I try to finish this paper (for the billionth time). When we now talk through e-mail, I think you can read how pissed off I am and how pissed off he is. We're so done with this. I am for sure. I can't do this anymore. This is not normal nor healthy. Four more days guys. And than I think I'll file a report against him or something (there's more to it than I wrote down here).
I gotta go now. Wish me luck.

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