17 May, 2015

Weak or strong?

I don't know if you read yesterday's post (it's the same date as today because I wrote it late after midnight) named Today: 17.5.2015.. If you did, you know that I was a little depressed. (For the future record, I use the word depressed when I'm feeling a bit down. I know it's an actual disease or medical diagnose so I wanted to clear it out that I do not have a diagnose. I just have my ups and downs. I'll move on now.) As it usually goes, I started over thinking everything. And then I stumbled upon a thought if I'm strong or weak person. They say a strong person is defined by how many tears and bad days can they camouflage with a fake smile and keep on going. In that case, I would be a strong person. I don't have that many bad days but when I do, they are so strong and overwhelming. It usually happens in the evening, late at night...What do I do? Wipe of my tears, go to sleep, get up in the morning like nothing happened. I put on a smile and I go live another day. On the other hand, a strong person should be able to pull them selves together, not to think about others, concentrate on themselves and work it out. A strong person wouldn't hide their feeling. They would confront their problems. So, according to this, I'm weak. Most of the times I know the reason why I'm feeling down and why I'm crying myself to sleep. Now, that a day has passed and I'm feeling just O.K., I wonder if I'm ever going to find out what a strong person is when it comes to feelings like this. (We all know strong people who get up after a loss of somebody close to them or something like that. God forbid.) Can you tell me? What am I? What are you?
Which way to go?

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