My 3 biggest fears

All people are afraid of something. If you're not, it's either sad that you don't have anything to lose or you're lying. Aside from being afraid that something will happen to my family or friends, here are my three biggest fears that include only me.

Note: This is not a depressed post. I'm not obsessed with any of these and these do not consume my life. This is just something I get nervous about when I think about it. That's all.

• darkness

I've been afraid of the dark since I can remember. I would play at my neighbor's place and I would have to walk between high corn field and hedge. I was usually coming back when it was already really dark and I was constantly afraid that something would jump out of it. I'm still kinda afraid of it and I definitely do not feel comfortable in the dark, but I just endure it.

• death

I don't know any (?) person that's not afraid of dying. You're living your whole life, you're struggling and for what? You're going to die anyway. This is really really scaring me and I get really nervous just thinking about this and I usually start crying in about 5 minutes of this topic. Also, what's even scarier is the fact that the Earth will be destroyed one day and nothing will be left of us. And my heart started going crazy now, so this would be the end of this topic.

• ending up alone

I know that some people don't see themselves as family people, they don't seek for significant other, they don't want kids and that's all OK. But that's not me. I want to find the love of my life and I want a big wedding and happy married life and kids and all that. The fact that I'm already 21 and I'm single scares me. This may sound crazy, but I always wanted to be married by the age of 25. And that's obviously not going to happen. So, yeah, I'm afraid that I'll stay alone forever. And that's not OK for me.

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If you don't mind sharing, I'd like to hear what are your fears? Or what you think of mine (leave out the death topic please as I don't know if I can read all about it...).

Which part of life would you choose?

I was talking to my mother yesterday and we started this topic of which part of life is the best. I said none and here's why.

Note: This is not meant to be sad or depressing post. We talked about it with smiles on our faces so I hope this will cheer you up (in some weird way) rather than put you down. Also, this is my point of view.

Starting with being a baby, we're not so aware of what's going on around us. Although we're being fed and washed and everybody loves us, we're not getting much out of it. If nothing, we don't remember anything from our baby years.

Next there's kindergarten or preschool or granny's place where we spend most of the time. I had the luck of my grandparents looking after me, so I wasn't forced to sleep in the afternoon or to eat something I didn't like. Also, I grew up with my brother and a couple of great friends so my days were kinda perfect. But if you're going to kindergarten or preschool, you're forced, at very young age, to do stuff somebody else says you should do and you don't understand why. Why would I sleep when I have all the energy in the world?

After that, there's elementary school. We're taught bunch of new stuff, we're with your friends all day long. That's great (if you have friends). But we're also taught to obey everything teachers say, to do whatever they want us to do. We're taught to be quiet and sit there. Again, being still and concentrated is quite hard when all we want is to play outside.

Hello, high school. Oh God. There's so much pressure on kids in high school to have good grades, to party a lot, to be good looking, to have some hobbies, to play sport,... To be perfect. Because we're kinda growing up the most in high school and it's expected from us to be the best. All the schoolwork was killing me. Yeah, the first thing I wanna do when I get home is homework... Also, everybody is treating us like kids, but we feel much older and wiser and there's our biggest problem.

Yay, I got into college. Now what? Again, so much pressure. This is our life now. We are so pressured to do the best because this will define our career. Great. I don't know if I was ever more stressed than in college. And when we finish it all, we realize we shouldn't have been so nervous, but it's too late now. I have started losing hair and I see some grays in there...

Finally a job! Paycheck! Hala! Shopping and traveling all day, all night. Yeah, unless we're living with our parents (which would be great btw), there are bills and food. And all other small stuff we didn't have to worry when we were younger.

Family time! Now all the worries start again because it's not just us anymore. We have more people to look after and it's freaking stressful. We work full time, come home, cook, clean, do homework, play and still need to have some us time which is usually non-existent.

Oh how sweet is retirement. Not really. We have the time, and maybe the will to do stuff we planned on doing since we were 10, but we're too old. Everything hurts and we can barely walk. And, like that's not enough, incomes are much smaller than our paycheck used to be (unless you're a millionaire).

My mom said she loved the time between getting a job and having a family the best! She was living with her parents, she had her own money, but shouldn't have worry about all the house stuff and the bills.

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In which stage are you right now? Are you loving it? Which is in general your favorite part?

Movie review: TMNT (2014)

Info: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a 2014 movie starring Megan Fox as reporter April O'Neal, Will Arnett as cameraman Vernon Fenwick and William Fichtner as Eric Sacks. There are, of course, Donatello, Raphael, Michelangelo and Leonardo, with their "father" master Splinter, as main characters of this adventure, comedy and action movie. Main bad guy is Shredder. This movie is 1 hour and 41 minutes long.

Plot: There is a group of people, called the evil Foot Clan, who are torturing the city. What the citizens of New York don't know is there are 4 vigilantes out there who are trying to protect them. Somehow, April witnesses the battle between the two groups and becomes a part of this huge underground secret. There is later revealed that one of the most powerful men out there, Eric Sacks, is actually a bad guy working for his father figure Shredder and their plan is to get rich by saving the city which they would previously poison. Ten (or something) years ago, April's father and Sacks were trying to develop an antidote in case something bad happens to the city. April's father found out about Sacks's evil plan so Sacks killed him. They were experimenting on 4 turtles and 1 rat. Although there was a fire at the lab, April managed to save the animals and they were living in a sewage ever since. Splinter took care and trained 4 little turtles to became ninjas who will protects the city. Sacks manages to capture the three of brothers, leaving Raphael to save them. In Sacks's attempt to drain them out of blood, brothers are weakened, but April comes with Vernon and Raphael just in time to give them adrenaline and save them. They all have one last fight with Shredder and succeed in stopping the poison of getting out. There is one of the last scenes where we can see Shredder taking just a bit of the remaining antidote.

My impression: I loved the cartoon when I was a kid, so watching this is a normal development of the situation. I really liked the movie, although I did skip few seconds of pure fighting. I loved the explanation scenes of how they became ninja turtles. I also loved the scene of baby turtles and seeing them as kids. While stuck in an elevator, 4 of them start being DJ's which I though was pretty spontaneous and funny scene. There was also one scene where, usually though and rebellious, Raphael has a beautiful speech (as they think they're going to die). There was one (but pretty big) thing I didn't like. It was the fact we see more of April and her point of view than the TMNT's. And I thought Splinter was very ugly. 

Raphael: I just... uh, uh... If this our last moment together, I just want you guys to know I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was so hard on you! Ugh. Everytime I pushed you I... I threatened you, I yelled at you, I pushed you beyond your limits, it's because I believe in you! I believe in each one of you! I believe in you spirit and your intelligence and your potential! And every time I talked about walking away it was because I was scared! I just didn't think I was good enough to stand next to you and call you brothers, and say to you, I love you! I love you guys so much!

Recommendation? You have to be into talking ninja turtles to watch this, because otherwise, I think you would be really bored. But if you ever watched the cartoon or know what are you getting into, I'd say to watch the movie! It's basically an action movie mixed with funny lines presented by huge talking turtles. Cowabunga, dude!

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Have you watched TMNT? Cartoon or movie? Are you excited for the new TMNT movie coming this year?

Today: 1.9.2016.

Doing: went to my grandparent's house, played with my dog, ate great food, watched TV - simply enjoying the day how I want it

Mood: great, but very tired (and it's almost 1 a.m. and I'm still up...)

Favorite person: I'd say my grandpa - heard him laugh after quite a while...

Thinking about: meeting my favorite people all week long - gotta love it

Missing: I could say more money and some confidence, but I'm gonna keep it positive and say nothing!

Loving: nature, sun, music, friends... lots of things today!

Hating: neighbors who are yelling and I'm about to go to sleep

New discovery: activated charcoal is apparently good teeth whitener?

Listening to: Nelly and Kelly - Dilemma (actually a whole RNB list...) - nostalgia...

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