Bit of personal

Hi for the second time today :))

I was looking at my blog archive and I realized that I haven't posted anything personal for a while. I know I don't have to but I started this blog like that, describing my world to you. I have a lot on my mind these days... I'm fighting with myself over my college exams and I am probably more afraid of school than I ever was. This is pretty much taking all of my time. Just worrying about my future. I really hope I won't mess that up. Also, I was looking at some old pictures of my friends on Facebook. I've read some comments that I wrote to them: "Hello sexy!", "Beautiful", "Love you, it's been too long since I haven't seen you"... And these were all obviously my good friends. I was apart from this girl for few months (it was around the time when we started high school and these are my elementary school friends) and I missed her so much. I haven't seen or heard form her in about 4 years now... God, it's killing me. Unfortunately, she's not the only one. I have 5 (or more) friends with the same situation. I know our lives drifted apart but I'm very emotional and sentimental person and this kind of feelings and situations are killing me. More by the day. Don't get me wrong, I really love my friends (often referred as "Fiba" in my posts) and I'm trying to make some new friends for life in college, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss my old friends. They have a special place in my heart and they'll always have it. The really sad part is I am not sure they feel the same. I think they forgot what we had and experienced. I'm too afraid to ask them, to contact them because I fear that we won't have anything to talk about. That way I would only confirm that we're not what we used to be and I don't think I'll ever be able to accept that. That's me. Since we're talking personal and honest, I was in neutral mood today. Nothing good, nothing bad... (I had one little bad situation, but nothing big.) And, as I'm writing this now, I'm falling in deeper and deeper depression. I can feel a tear on my cheek but I'm not giving up. My heart can handle this. Hell, I've survived worse feelings than this. But, for now, today, this evening, this is what will set my tears running down my cheeks. That and "Listen" by Beyonce. God, I love that song. It's so me! Well, I better leave you before I really start to cry my eyes out and my parents find out...

It's OK to be emotional. Stay well :*

Love you like you can't even imagine!

Fresh Prince lives!

Hi my lovely readers :)

First of all, I want to thank you for commenting my posts and rating them, it means a lot. Also, I would like to thank the persons that asked me to analyze their favorite songs based on my previous posts :).

This time I would like to share my love for Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (link here). I recently downloaded all of the seasons and I'm watching it from the beginning to the end. I'm on third season and I love it (as I knew I would). I'm already mentally preparing for the end because I've watched the last episode few times and I cry every time. It's like an end of an era. This show lasted for 6 years. It began before I was even born (1990) and ended a year after I saw the light of this world (1996). And now I couldn't imagine my life without it. I still think of Will Smith as a teenage guy and I can't believe that he already has a family and kids. I got sucked into this show and I consider it a time-machine. It moves me back into the times I wasn't even alive but I still kinda have a feeling that this is filmed now. I think this is a key to a good and successful show. Every generation can see it and love it. I hope my kids will like it too, cause I'm not going to delete it from my laptop when I finish watching it, that's for sure. I have to brag a bit and tell you that I wrote a school assignment about this show and I got an A. I wrote everything, from the awards they all got, described characters and their roles, to the main point of every episode which is: You can work it all out! I love all the cast and they really work great together. Every actor/actress in it has a great role and they're all amazing team. I would also like to say that I'm so sorry for James Avery (the best uncle Phil). And another thing... I think Will is the only guy who can wear all kinds of necklaces and still look super-hot and manly (besides the fact that he is adorable, funny, caring...). I hope you've watched the show. If not, start now because you have no idea what you're missing. I've put some pictures together to prove Will's strange sense of fashion. (Yes, those were different times and that was popular, I guess).

P.S. I'm sorry for bad quality of these pictures, but I couldn't find any pictures like these online so I had to print-screen everything...

Don't forget to rate :)) Bye

Will and his necklaces.

Speak your mind!

Hello :)

This time I want to tell you that it's OK to say what's on your mind. Don't ever hold back if you think you're right because your opinion may save somebody's life. You never know. I've heard a story once about that. It's true. It goes kinda like this. There was a young wanna-be doctor (still on college) and he was assisting a real doctor. Now, this wasn't operation but it was still pretty serious. A man came with some problem in his leg and they sent him to X-ray it. After that, they sat and looked at the photos. Doctor had one theory and young one had another, but he didn't share it with the doctor. Doctor decided to put a man under surgery and everything was prepared for it and then a young student said his theory. Surgery was canceled and a man only took some painkillers and had to do some exercises for his leg. The point is... A man could have gone under a surgery for no reason because doctor was wrong. Nothing would have happened but why do a surgery if it's unnecessary. Young doctor was afraid to say anything because he was still in college and didn't want to question doctor's experience and knowledge. Say what you're thinking. Maybe you'll be right and do such a good thing. In worst case scenario, you can be wrong. Is it really that bad? at least you tried. This goes for standing up for yourself, too. I know I'm kinda a hypocrite saying this because I don't follow my own advice and I am afraid to say what's on my mind, but I shouldn't be. You shouldn't either.

Related to this topic, rate my posts below, comment them. I can't know if you like it or not if you don't say what you think. And, therefore, I can't improve myself. Thanks :)

That's all folks :)

Smart guy Gandhi :)

Trying out new fashion...

Hi lovelies :)

So... As you might have figured out, I like to try new creative things. Writing this blog, writing another blog about nails, writing a novel... I'm not going to start anything new now, but I would like to present to you my new fashion style (it all came from Fanni). I hope you like it as much as I do. Of course, there's room for improvement and I haven't really payed mush attention to some minor details, but here it is... Here comes the sad part. I neither have money or courage for something like this. I've already described my fashion style and, most of the times, it's pretty simple. I need to be able to go somewhere really fast and feeling comfortable. Although, I would like to walk the streets like they do in movies, in "Sex and the city" or any other. I would like to feel that confident and brave to have (all) eyes on me. The truth is, I really like outfits like this, or the fancy hip-hop style or something a bit different. But, it's me... I can't do that. Everybody sees me as a sweet little girl. Imagine if I show up in these boots on college. They would tear me up. Maybe those wouldn't be bad comments, but, as I said, I wouldn't have the guts for it. It's OK to change your style. My advice to you is do it slow. Little thing. Maybe this new change won't look as good as you imagined. If you throw all your old stuff away to make room for new ones and it turns out bad... What then? Buy one clothing item at the time. Adjust yourself and others to this change you're going through. Of course, make sure you have money for your new ideas. If you don't have it, your plan is more or less dead... Unless, you make something yourself... Think about it till next time :)

Bye :*

Acquaintances or friends?

Howdy y'all :)

Have you ever been in a situation where you were describing someone's situation to someone else and you didn't know how to call them? "It was my friend, um, I mean relative, I mean acquaintance... We went to school together..." Awkward, if you ask me. I've wondered what am I supposed to call my "friends" form school, college, or any other place. The ones who I don't actually hang out with but we talk. So, we're not friends if we're not talking about some serious stuff, if we never talk outside that surroundings... What are we? And I can't say we're just acquaintances cause we've shared (quite a) few moments together and we talked more than some two people that just met would. I know some stuff that others don't know and that's kinda a friendly side. It's so confusing. I always say: "It's my friend.", but I know, most of the times, it's not true. It just keeps the conversation easier to follow. Is there a word for those in-the-middle people? I'm not really that familiar with all English words, so if there is, please tell me. We don't have it. At least, I can't think of any. And, while we're on this subject, isn't it sad? I've spent 8 years in elementary school with some really great people. And I hear from maybe two or three of them. I've also spent 4 years in high school and now I talk to maybe 5 of them. So, I've known these people for 8 or 4 years, and I can't say they're my friends? What the hell have we been doing? I'm not saying it's impossible to stay friends with most of them, but, let's be honest, you pick one or two friends and you stick to them. I would like to say "hi" to all of them, ask "what's up?", see how they are... But I have no topic to talk about with most of them. Our lives drifted apart and this gap is hard to fill in. I'm sure you've had (and still have) this problem. I watched some TV show and a girl and a boy reunited after I don't know how long. Before, they didn't have anything to talk about and it was always awkward and then they met after a couple of years and they married. I really hope it will be like that in my life too. I don't need to marry everybody (yeah, D.), but it would be nice to talk to old "friends". So, I leave you with something to think about.

Talk to you tomorrow :*

New pages

Hi everybody :)

Again, I'm dying, so this will, again, be a short post. I'm so sorry for doing this to you but this college exams are really taking all of my time and energy. I'll try to make it all up to you as soon as this all ends. I'm thinking, it should be till the middle of the February, max. But, I won't leave with nothing to read today. I wrote a new part of my "book". Here it is. Scene from the movie. (It has two pages.) I really hope you'll like it. Tell me what you think.

Goodbye till next time, probably tomorrow. And go to sleep!

Movie, people! Movie, I tell you...

Read between the lines

Hi :)

Long time no talk. I'm sorry for my absence, I had a really busy week that continues but I managed to get some free time for you all :). Just for information, yesterday was my B-day and it felt kinda weird because it was just a regular day. Nothing special, and I remember the times when I was jumping up and down all day on my birthday... Oh well, I grew old :P...

Today, I wanted to tell you more about songs we listen every day. I picked only what I like. You, of course, don't have to like them but I think you also won't be able to deny any of my arguments. We'll see... So, here we go... (Order is not important, it just came to me in this one... And every song is a link to YouTube.)

1. Katy Perry - Roar. At first, nothing special. Than I looked at the lyrics and I was actually surprised that it has a meaning behind all this roaring. It's about standing up for yourself. You had enough with all the underestimating and agreeing to everything without a right to say your opinion. Finally, you found a tiger and a lion in yourself and, now, you're fighting for you and your opinion.
2. Beyonce - Listen. This lady always amazes me, but this song is special. This lyrics are so deep and I can relate to every word. This one is also about standing up for yourself. You have dreams that can't be shut down, they must be heard and realized. Nobody understands you but you have to stand on your two feet and go though life. Strong and determined to be happy. It's about waking up you inner self that nobody takes the chance to meet.
3. Katy Perry - Part of me. Great song. you finally found something that nobody can't take away form you - you. Your thoughts, plans, dreams... There's nothing more someone can do to you, you're stronger than ever. The military video only makes me love this song even more (I've written in previous posts that I love army). This is the best you'll ever be and past is behind you. Moving on is the best thing for you and now you're life is better.
4. Alicia Keys - Superwoman. Real confidence booster. To all the strong women out there, to all the mothers, sisters, daughters, nieces, grandmothers...We are strong. Nobody actually knows everything about us. We're mystery and people often mistake us for being weak and too emotional. You have no idea... Say to yourself, every day, "I'm a superwoman!!!".
5. Eminem - Not afraid. I love Eminem and his songs, but this one has a special place in my heart. I especially love the last part, about facing your demons and putting your life back on the right tracks. I feel amazing, I'm gazing the stars, shooting for the moon... Amazing lyrics. This song can remind you that you don't have to be afraid to be yourself. You can change for the better, be the person you want to be any time. You just have to believe it. And yes, I see that this song has alcohol addiction in itself, but the message in it can be applied into every day of our lives. Take your life into your hands and take responsibilities for your actions. Love your new life.
6. Beyonce - I was here. It's about leaving the mark on this world. Making yourself important, your life and work here matters. You want to make a difference. In a positive way. Also a great motivational song to listen to every single day.

Of course there are hundreds of song like this, but these are the first six songs that came to my mind. If you remember any other, feel free to comment.

Have a great day :)

They make me STRONGER !!!!!

I'm a happy child, today

Hi y'all. :D

Today was a great day. Now, I feel like I was running all day long and, while running, solving some very complex math problems. My point is, I feel really tired, mentally and physically. You would think now that I had a rough day... Actually, I was really good. I had just a few hours of college and they were, more or less, OK. All the songs I listened to while driving through town were OK, some of them even great. That really improved my mood for the day. I had this one moment of depression in college because there's that thing that bothers me (I'll probably write about that in my next post), but I didn't let that ruin my day. I was determined to stay happy as long I can. To remain happy, I'm writing this post. Writing about positive stuff makes me happier, like everybody else in fact. When I think about my life now, I'm happy. I have almost everything I want. What's more there to ask for? Ask me in about 10 minutes after I finish this blog post and my mood may be entirely different. But, to stay on this happy note, only a hundred more tests and my semester is over!! Oh yeah, I got in touch with a friend that I haven't spoke to in a while and that also brought a smile to my face. What happened to you today? Are you smiling? You should be. Smiling reduces the formation of wrinkles and it also keeps you healthier person. That's pretty great. You're happy and, in the same time, you are taking care of your body. If only smiling would make you work out without working out! Oh, wait, it does. If you smile hard, like really laugh out loud, your stomach muscles work out without you even know it. You know that pain you feel while laughing? Your abs are coming!! Smile as much as you can, every day, every minute, every second! Smile and laughter are priceless, on your face or on the face of a person you made smile. So, basically, I'm in a really good mood today and I wanted to share it with you.

Bye till next time :)

Mother Teresa was a smart woman !!!

Awkward moment

Hi. Who was I kidding yesterday while saying I won't be active? I'll sacrifice my exams for this blog. And for Internet and friends in general. 

So, today something awkward happened. My life is made out of awkward situations. I was coming to college and I saw Mr. in front of it. You can't miss it, one building and everybody smoking in front. So, of course, I was happy when I saw he was standing alone. This was my chance to talk in person. But, I was with my friend and she's a bit socially awkward. At least, I see her like that. And we started talking but she was creating some weird atmosphere around us. Suddenly she asked: "Are you coming or what?" I looked at her and she was obviously waiting for me. What the hell? It doesn't matter if I'm talking to him or any other person... If I'm talking, be with us or leave. It's not like we were going somewhere, we were standing in front of our classroom. God! Don't people have manners anymore? He's not a stranger to her, she could join the conversation. I don't know if I'm wrong here because I'm blinded by talking to Mr. or is she really the one who should be sorry for making all of us awkward... I'm not really sociable person, so I know really good how pressure to talk to someone can affect you and it's not easy. But in situations like this, I join the conversation if it's about some random topic. If it's personal, I walk away. Simple as that. I don't even know why I'm so pissed about this. It's not that big problem. It just bothered me and I needed to share it with someone. So, thanks for listening... I mean, reading.

Something like that...

Avoiding posts and blog

Hi ya'll :) 

Oh God, I had to write another post because I have 666 views. I need to change that immediately. :P Are you superstitious? You know, black cat on the road, broken mirror equals 7 years of bad luck, Friday the 13th... I'm not. I have one thing that I do, but it's more out of habit. But this was not supposed to be my topic. I wanted to inform you that I won't be as active as I used to be these days because I have tons of really big exams so I can't waste any more time writing this, unfortunately. I'll be with you probably on Wednesday. Till then, I'll gather some new ideas and some new topics so I'll have more materials to write about. If you have any questions or ideas for new posts, just tell me. Also, visit my new blog "Royalty Nails" (link on the right). What else could I say now? Nothing, I have a game to watch so I'll be going now. Wish me luck during this next two weeks.

Good night :*

Study hard!!!!

New blog, nails for everyone

Hi.
This is just a short post to inform you that I made a new blog. This one will still be active, so don't go away. New one is about nails, nail designs and basically everything I know about that topic. This is a link to it: Royalty Nails (link also on the right). Hopefully, you'll like it and you will be as much on that blog as you are on this one. Recommend my new blog to anyone who likes nails and isn't very good at it. I'm going to describe the best I can everything I do. This is pretty much it. Bye till the evening.

Welcome

To get a puppy or not?

What's up guys? :) Hi.

In a post Today's a new day :), I've told you how much I want to get a dog to live with me. This story continues... Yes, since 2005., but now I'm really more determined than ever. I had this feeling before and I tried really hard to convince my mom, but I've failed every single time. Hopefully, this time will be different. I have to convince her that I'm capable of taking care of a living being. I'm taking care of myself, I'm alive, isn't that enough? ;) A new friend of mine, I'm not gonna tell you who that is, you can guess, is thinking about getting a dog but his mom also said "no". So, we're trying. I know I am. I told my mom yesterday about this idea and she said what she always does: "We'll see." We won't. I'm going to wait until my brother leaves because he's not on the same page with me on this particular topic. I was also thinking about getting a puppy without their permission. How? Well, I don't mean just to buy a puppy and bring it home. I was telling my friends that they should all get together and buy me this one, unique, perfect gift for my birthday. Or I'll buy it and give it to them to pretend in front of my parents like they bought it. I'm not so sure this will work cause one of my friends hates dogs and she'll never play along... Or, so I think... I'm so desperate when it comes to this, I would do anything... Having a dog is a whole new world to me. I really believe that dogs (and basically any other domestic animal) makes you a better person. You learn how to love another living being without words and understanding like we know it. It's priceless. At least, for me. There's no greater love than what dog has for you, his owner. People will stab you in the back (mostly for money and popularity) and dogs will be there no matter what. I need somebody to look forward when I come home, somebody who will welcome me home. Without judgement, anger or a million questions. This year was supposed to be my new beginning, new change... Maybe setting my mind on this will be a part of it too. I hope that I'll have good news to share with you very very soon (it's my birthday soon and I hope every year... :( ).

So, this is all for today... Bye now...

P.S. In order of appearance: Chow-chow, German shepherd, Alaskan malamute, Rottweiler, Samoyed, Pomeranian (I don't really like them, he just looks cute on this photo)

Puppies <3 *__*

Liebster award :*

Hello again :))
I was nominated yesterday for the Liebster award (German for sweetheart). Thank you Anchy. This award and nominations are great way to discover some new blogs that don't have a lot of followers. There are few simple rules to follow:
1. Mention the person who nominated you with a link to their blog.
2. Answer 11 questions provided by the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 11 other bloggers (blogs) with less than 200 followers (based on Blogolovin's follower account).
4. Create a new set of 11 questions for your nominees to answer.

So, to start with... Here are my answers:
1. Why did you start your blog?
I started it one night actually when I was so pis*ed and I needed to tell somebody what's bothering me. I thought this will be great way to share my thoughts and feelings with the world. It's like my diary. And I continued it because I saw that people obviously like my life if they come back to read some more...
2. What inspires you?
Hmm... Though one. I think that would be love (or hate as the opposite). Loving somebody is the greater feeling you'll ever have. And being loved is also so amazing, no words can describe it. Love for people (and animals and things...) keeps me (and everybody else) alive.
3. What is your biggest ambition/wish in life?
Wow. I'm too young to know where life will take me but I've always wanted a house with a backyard for my dogs (that I plan to get too), lot of money (I don't have to swim in it, but enough for a good life). Also, I see myself with two kids (twins, a boy and a girl), great husband. Doing the job I love.
4. What is your favorite piece of clothing to wear any why?
Jeans! It must be them. I love to feel comfortable and with jeans I can be comfortable and look great at the same time. I almost never go out without wearing them. Thank you, who ever you are that invented jeans. Of course, I have my favorite coat, T-shirt, sweater... But this is something I wear every single day so I had to choose jeans.
5. Name 3 qualities you love about yourself.
Gosh, this will sound like bragging and should definitely ask my friends about that one but fine. I'm very patient person, great listener, always willing to help. Is that OK?
6. What is your favorite style and why?
Um... As I said in one of my posts, my style varies from sporty to very elegance. I would say that my favorite style is normal, casual. Jeans, T-shirt and sneakers. I feel great wearing that and that's the most important thing for me. However, I would like to try some hip-hop/street style but I'm not so sure it would look good on me.
7. Do you prefer new clothes or vintage clothes?
New one definitely. Vintage is not my style completely. My sense for fashion is changing every day, so you never know when will I buy something vintage. I have some pieces, but I mostly posses new, modern clothes.
8. Do you believe in "all natural" beauty?
Of course! I don't use make-up. I do, but it's so rare and so little that it doesn't count. I believe people (girls) are mostly prettier without than with make-up. I once saw my friend from school for the first time without make-up. I didn't recognize her for about a full minute. So, yes, I do believe in all natural beauty.
9. What is your favorite brand and scent of candle?
I don't buy clothes or shoes of some certain brand, but if I have to choose, that would be Nike. My all time favorite. They have great shoes, T-shirts, training clothes... I simply love them.
We don't really light candles in our house that often so I don't have something favorite. I like everything. Roses, let's say, are my favorite.
10. Describe the feeling you get when you press "publish" button.
Oh my... Since I'm writing a personal blog, I feel relieved. I feel like I'm writing a diary and all my problems are put away and I'm waiting for someone to tell me it's gonna be OK. "Publish" button is not just for collecting more views, I honestly think this blog is my therapist.
11. What would you like to accomplish this year?
I would like to pass my exams and start a new year at my college. I hope to lose some weight to feel better in my own body. I would love to find my special someone... We'll see what tomorrow brings...

So, now that I've answered my questions, I have to choose 11 other bloggers. (You have to let them know they're nominated and they have to send you the link to their answers in the comments bellow.) Here are my nominees:
1. Black on Grey on White
2. Me and devil-kin
3. Fashion by MrsCrown
4. Rack and Sack
5. Love Saves the World
6. Fabulously Wed
7. Wedding Sparrow
8. The World Is A Book
9. The London Project | A Photo Diary
10. Little Black Suitcase
11. Cocktails With Mom

So, my lovely nominees, here are my questions:
1. What stage of life are you at? Elementary school/high school/college/working/retired? What do you expect from it?
2. What does your blog say about you? What does blogging mean to you?
3. What's your favorite piece to wear (accessories, shirts, pants, shoes...). Describe it and say why you love it?
4. What's your favorite season of the year and why?
5. What's your favorite color and why? What do you have in that color? (example: green shoes)
6. What are you looking in your "special someone"?
7. Do you think you can attract someone by just being yourself? I don't mean in general, you specifically.
8. What kind of music is your music and why?
9. What's your favorite movie and why? Can you relate to the characters?
10. Who do you love? Family, friends, crush, boyfriend/girlfriend? Tell us his/her name. (You can do that with your secret crush too, nobody will know...)
11. Are you happy with your life?
Don't forget to send me a link to your posts in the comment :)
Have a nice day, bye bye :))

From happy to worried in one second

Hello, my faithful readers!

Today was more interesting day than I usually have. Sadly, because this one wasn't that good. But, oh well... I, of course, had college. But I like this subject I had, so it wasn't that bad. It didn't start too early either, so I had few more hours to rest than usual. This, however, didn't help me cause a phone call woke me up and I had to get up then. (I can't sleep once I'm woken up.) All the way to my classes, I've been listening to some random music on the radio and my day started pretty good. After this two hours of the only normal subject on my college, I had lunch with my brother. It was arranged yesterday. About 10 minutes after us came his best friend to eat, too. He sat with us, so we all had lunch together. Than another guy, also his best friend, joined us for a drink. I was having a good time. Than I got home, studied a bit... (I've been studying for 3 hours, then I finally finished my English...) I was texting Mr. a bit, and my friend Anchy (blog on the right). It was all going great. Of course, I had a fight with my father, but what's new? He is very stubborn, hot-headed and think he's the master of the universe. I think all the opposite, so... You can imagine our relationship. But I'm used to that, so that didn't ruin my mood. What did was the news I got from my mom. I can't really tell you what happened, but we have some family problems... Very serious problems that won't go away so easily and quickly. So, now my mom is sad, so I'm sad and worried but life goes on, right? I hope that somebody will take my mind off of this. Mr. is doing a good job. We don't talk about anything serious. Although I am kinda sad about that fact, this time I'm happy. This ":D" became my only smiley face that I use with Mr. It feels great. So, I know I'll be better tomorrow, but this worry won't go away. Not for another month... That's how long it will last, trust me, I know...

Try this when your family has problems -.-"

What do they want?

Hey to you all :)

One of the the biggest questions ever in life is what the other side wants from you? What we hear every day is: men are pigs, they're all the same, girls are bitc*es, they're all the same. We could go on like this forever. Of course, every gender is for themselves. You can't compete with guy's or girl's power. So, what's really the truth? What do we want? The truth is everybody is looking for someone who's perfect. I can tell you immediately that you won't find that person. You can find a person perfect to you, but perfect in general, I don't think so. (This is written from my perspective so I hope I got it right.) Guys want smart girl, but not smarter than them, pretty, but not that pretty that every guy is throwing at her, funny and spontaneous, but not childish, great cook, very friendly and outgoing. Oh yeah, also, they want somebody to sleep with. Sadly, that's in most of their minds. Girls, on the other hand, want romantic guy, but not to mushy, a bit dangerous, but not a criminal, hot with 6 packs, but not too hot either, smart, again, not smarter than them... Basically, they want someone who will deal with all their crap and look good while doing it. This is what it all comes down to. As a girl, I'm supposed to say that girls are angels and guys are idiots who don't treat them right. But that just not true. What everybody needs to understand is they're not above other people. We're all the same and we should only treat people like we want to be treated. Does that make any sense? I think it does. You can't always blame others. Sometimes guys really are idiots who don't appreciate what they have, and sometimes the girls are that too. I don't know why it is when a couple breaks up, everybody immediately blames the guy and thinks he'll get over it sooner. To be honest, I know more girls than guys who are a lot worse than their other half. They cheat on them, make them look guilty and then move on after two days. And I'm supposed to cover for them? No! I think I only know three guys that cheated on their girlfriends. In a world where guys are pigs, that's a small number... So, my point is... Don't say everyone's the same. You're just looking at wrong person.

Have a nice day, talk to you later today ;)

NOT true!!

Confused heart

Hey :) What's up? Everything OK?

Of course, as many posts before, this one is about confused heart, too. I really think it's the biggest problem in the world. (Besides poverty, homeless people, ...I'm not that shallow. I'm talking about the teenagers without really serious problems... I hope you got it.) So... I said that I would never start anything with a guy that's in a relationship, but it is hard to control my heart. Brain is strong, but not enough. I've been telling you about Mr. M. (form now on, he'll be just Mr.). Well, this is also about him. I don't know what to think. I am 100% sure that he loves his girlfriend and that he's just being friendly. It's just a coincidence that the two of us started talking. It could have been any other girl instead of me. I am aware of that. What I don't get, if I know all this, is why I like him. More that I should. I think. I'm not even sure what I'm feeling. We can talk on chat but not in person. At least, not that clear and friendly. What's that all about? But he is one of the rare guys (maybe the only one) that I can look in the eyes and not look away. That means something, right? I looked at him, he was already looking at me. I looked away, then looked again, he was still looking. And I gave him the biggest, warm, "friendly" smile I could. It felt so good. This was one of those moments in books when it says: "It was the longest few seconds of their lives." And now I don't know what to do... I can't stop communicating with him (like they do in TV shows when things get complicated) cause that would be weird, but I also can't be overly attached. And I'm not good at those "in-between" feelings and relationships. When I love, I love with all my heart. When I hate, better get the hell out of my way. I know you all don't like to comment (I have no idea why) but this time I need your help. Really! What to do? Should I just be his friend? I'm gonna do that the best I can, but how do I convince my heart to listen to my brain. Not that long ago, I was talking to my friend Dee Dee and we somehow got on the topic of people in our classes. I said something about him and she was curious so she asked me something. I can't remember how the conversation was going... I sad: "If he's happy, I'm happy." My friend told me: "That's love." Then, I just laughed and I didn't think about much... But now... Now, I'm thinking about it almost every day. Every time I see his message. Well, I'll have to shush my heart...

Full walls...

Greetings :)

Today I found out that I have tests, big ones, for the next two weeks. All weeks, every day. Even Saturday! And I haven't started studying yet and now I'm so scared that I won't pass. I promise that I'll start tomorrow. Anything. (I probably won't, but it looks nice, "I promise"...) So, I've told you that my plan is to redecorate my room, right? Well, I can proudly say that I started. I did such a small change, but it's still a change. I've put some pictures of me and my friends on my desk and now they look at me every day. I feel kinda calmer and happier seeing them. I immediately remember the good old times when that pictures were taken and it's like a light on the end of the tunnel (it's not the same as dying, we use this to express happiness, good days in bad ones...). Friends are, besides your soul mate and family, really a blessing. They are my reason to smile. That's why I look at these pictures every two seconds. Also, I've put some pictures of Saints... I'm not really big religious person but I do believe in God. I have Saint Anthony of Padua, Mother Teresa, Mary with Jesus... They also keep me calm, make me think like there's someone watching me and making sure that I'll be fine. Now, my plan is also to remove my posters (Cristiano Ronaldo, Chad Michael Murray and some more guys). My "love" for them hasn't faded away, but I think I'm old enough to keep this feelings for myself. My room really looks like a ten-year old girl's room. I have a bunch of posters and three shelves full of stuffed animals (that I love). By removing posters I'll get more room on my walls for some serious pictures that I like these days. I'm obviously changing. The only problem is that I can't remove my posters until my parents decide to paint my room because I have tape marks on my walls... I would like to remove my stuffed toys too, but I love them. They are like my family. Some of them are as old as I am. I can't move them. And I don't mean throw them away, I mean move them to my grandma and grandpa's house. Their attic is full of my and my brother's stuff. I'm very clingy and that's why I never have free space in my room. But, oh well... I'm waiting for these exams to pass and than I'll make some big changes in my life. I remembered just now that I also told you I'm starting to work out on this day. I lied. :D I will make some push-ups but it's not what I had planned. You can join me, just do something good for yourself today... 

Here are some cute stuffed animals (not mine) and some pictures I would like to put on my wall. Bye :)

Child and adult in one person!!!

Small bad decisions

Hi everyone. :D

It's midnight in my country, I have college early in the morning and I know I should go to sleep. But I can't. I'm watching CSI: Miami. That's one reason. The other is that I can't leave you without a post today. I don't really have the story to tell, a topic to write about. So, I'm gonna tell you how my day went. It's Sunday so it wasn't very interesting, but I did made some bad decisions. One of them is about my homework. How many times have I told myself that I need to take care of college and homework and obligations first. But I never do. I sit around all day doing nothing and then, at 10 p.m. I start something. Thank God I started this drawing at 7 p.m. cause I finished it around 10 p.m., maybe a bit later. It came out pretty good but I don't get how my lines aren't parallel if I drew everything with two triangles. It has confused me so hard that I stood over my work for an half an hour just staring at it and trying to figure everything out. Hopefully, professor will forget about it. In addition to that one subject, I realized that I have the worst of my subjects tomorrow and I haven't studied a second. I just wanna skip college tomorrow. Also, I've contacted Mr. M. About our classes... (Nothing special there. We're trying to be friends.) And, since he hasn't answered my text for two days, I got worried. He usually texts me back in about three or four hours, max. I'm not worried that something happened to him, I'm worried that he changed his mind about me. Maybe I'm annoying him, or he (somehow) read my blog and figured out... It could be anything. We'll see tomorrow. or in a day or two. Another story... I love painting my nails. I just enjoy it. I'm pretty good at it (you could see my designs in my posts), I think. And I'm terrible at organizing. I have less time to paint them by the day. I usually paint them once a week, on Sunday. I did it 20 minutes ago, but I have no design, they're plain and I hate that. Also, one of my friends kinda hurt me today. So, you could say that I didn't exactly enjoy my day. And when I think about it now, I'll go to sleep a bit sad. It will pass till tomorrow, I know it. So, I hope I didn't bore you with this post. I know it's not like usual ones, but, as I said, it is Sunday and I was at home the whole day...

Good night ya all :D

Or: Can I just turn in one part and you'll get the other tomorrow? (Yes, we use that.)

There are no words...

Hi.

There are not enough words to express what I am feeling right now. Simply, I'm depressed, but there are lots of emotions mixing up inside of me. I was looking at some old photos of me, my family and my friends from elementary and high school. I miss them so much! Nobody in particular, just all of them. As a group, as a class, as a, once, a family! I was just telling my friend that I miss those days when it didn't matter what you are wearing, how you look, who you hang out with or how much money you have... Everything was about pure friendship and playing together. Don't you miss that? Times when you didn't have to question somebody's loyalty and trust. Don't you miss the times when it was fun to ring a doorbell and run? Simple and, most of the times, stupid things like that made us laugh and we were happy with nothing. And today you have to be popular, rich, know the right people to become somebody. I remember the time when my dad was a hero. I was so proud of him. I took every opportunity I could to hug him. Now, we don't even have anything to talk about. It's sad, isn't it? Also, what's up with friends? We were once so great together. Now, I don't know who is where, what they are doing... I just wanna cry over it. (And I did.) I was so happy lately, I knew it will be over soon. I was happy since I started talking to Mr. M. He was my new "hope", something I was focused on. He is popular hot guy, and I'm not that kind of girl. And he still talks to me without holding back. He doesn't make a difference between us like most people do. Popular hang out with popular, geeks with geeks... You know how it goes. So, I was happy. Something had to ruin that. Sooner or later. To be honest, it kinda came later but still... I wasn't prepared. I never am. Today, everybody's your friend till they don't need you anymore. I'm lucky enough to have my two best friends that I would trust my life with. I hope that will remain like that till the end of time. Everything I wasn't thinking about is now coming out. And it's not pretty. I'm loosing hope and faith. In friends, in love, in trust, in my dad...

I want everything back!

Crying helps!

If you eavesdrop, do it right!

Well hi there :)

I don't know if you noticed, but eavesdropping is becoming more and more popular. Nobody trusts nobody. It's sad to realize that, but it's the truth. We often see that in TV shows and movies. It's so irritating that nobody waits till the end of the conversation. If you eavesdrop, do it all the way. Maybe you'll be surprised. Listen to this for example... A guy and a girl are in a relationship. Some other girl is in love with the boy. This other girl invites him to talk. Then she starts how she is in love, how he is perfect and so on... (It's not his fault that some girl likes him. This may be the proof for you that you have a good guy.) His girl listens to that and she will most certainly run away at this point. She will not hear his speech. He will say how he is really happy in his relationship, how he loves his girlfriend. And she will never hear that. She'll be upset and break up with him. And the guy will not know what the problem is. And even if he tries to explain, she will not believe him because she "heard" something. So my point is this: Listen everything to the end. Maybe you'll be happy with the outcome and maybe not. At least, you'll hear the whole thing with your own ears. Just to be clear, I don't think that spying and eavesdropping is OK, but, like everything, if you do it, do it right. Also, I've promised to myself that I'll always give people a chance to explain. I'm so frustrated with the fact that only few people will do so. Maybe it really isn't what it looks like. Listen, then decide! Also one example... If you see your boyfriend hugging some girl, of course you won't be happy about it, but give them a chance to explain. Maybe the other girl was hurt, or sad, or something, and your guy was good enough to help her. You know? When you look at it like that, your boyfriend might be a very good person (to others too, not just to you). Same goes for guys and their girlfriends. Of course, don't fall for every bulls**t they say to you. Like, if you see them kissing and they tell you they're just cousins saying "hello" in their way, it's most likely a lie. Don't be naive (like me), but try to be reasonable and understanding. I bet you would like for the other side to listen to what you have to say. Hopefully, this will save a lot of relationships from making stupid mistakes like breaking up for no real reason.

So this is it for now. Love each other and be happy. Bye :*

Eavesdropping, Marshal and Ted (HIMYM), Sheldon (The BBT)

Pretty, hot, beautiful. Or all three?

Good evening :))

First of all I would like to thank you for visiting my Wattpad profile and reading my stories. However, I do have some problem with it. All of you (that visited that link) read only the "Table of Contents" and not the stories. In that first part I just said that I'm new at writing stories. I want you to read some of them and give me a feedback on what you think. You can comment on Wattpad or here. I'll appreciate it. So, I'll help you. This are the links: Table of contents, Intro, Starting something new, Everything changes under the surface 1, Everything changes under the surface 2, Cold outside, warm inside 1 and Cold outside, warm inside 2. So, these are my stories. Hopefully, you'll read them and you'll like them.

So, what I wanted to tell you? Oh yeah... I've read somewhere that a girl (I think a guy too, but it was about girls) can be pretty, hot or beautiful. Pretty means she has a cute, pretty face. You know, small cute nose, big (blue) eyes, full lips... Hot is referred to her body. Slim, perfect shape, long thin legs, bigger chest. Simply, it means that she looks great in a bikini. Beautiful is all together but it actually means that she has a great personality, great spirit. She is funny, kind, polite, kinda shy but friendly... So, the conclusion is: If someone calls you girls beautiful, he's probably in love. Why? Because he thinks about your personality, you obviously suit him with just being you. He looks beyond your looks and you're not just a trophy for him. Most of the times when someone falls in love with someone's personality, that's it. It's true love. Loving someone just for his looks (body and face) is fake. That never lasts long. So, imagine this. You have a hot boyfriend/girlfriend and he/she has nothing in his/her head. Nothing that suits you. Could you stay in a relationship like that? I don't think so. Find yourself someone who you can call beautiful. Trust me, it's worth it. (Yes, this "trust me" part is a bit of a problem as I have no love life but I want to hope that it's worth it. I need to believe that!)

P.S. Just to inform you, I haven't started any of those project I told you about. :P

Have a nice day. :*

Yes, you are!!!!

My projects in 2014

Hello you all. :)

I had two really good ideas what to write and I lost them in a bus... I really need to start writing them down. Today, I'm gonna introduce you to my new projects. Everything I'm doing (or I'm trying to do). So, your job is to tell me whether you think I'm crazy, smart, ambitious, or any other adjective that comes to your mind. Also, you could give me some advises about it. So here we go:

1. I'm making my own calendar. I actually started that last year and I hoped it would be finished by this New Year but no. I let myself down again... This year I'm really going to finish it. I know there are lost of places where you give your photos and they give you back calendar with them but I really want to do it by myself. I did the first half and I wrote all the dates in it.

2. My new working program. This year I decided to surprise everyone with my new figure and I really think this could work. I have more motivation than ever. I didn't start on the first of January but I am going to start on the 13th because on that date my brother leaves and he's the person I want to surprise the most. I don't want anyone to know I'm working out and dieting in case I give up. This is so possible...

3. I'm writing a book. As you know, I started a book. Well, it's not really a book, it is just a compilation of short, one-page, stories that you can read on Wattpad. I'm also thinking about copying everything I wrote there into MS Word  or something like that so I can expand it. I really think I could do something with it although I don't have so much imagination for the whole 200-page book. We'll see.

4. Remodeling my room. My room is small and I have no space in it. But I love it. It's just mine! So I have posters all around my walls, tons of stuff I don't use or even look at and it all must go out! I have this one shelf that's a eyesore for me. I want to turn it into a book shelf but all kinds of stuff are there and I need to move that first. I think I'm going to do that during some holidays when I'll have time.

Besides all this, I have college that, normally, comes first. Of course, I have too maintain good relationship with my friends so I need to see them in my free time. Who knows, maybe I'll find love this year... I would love to see that on my project list. ;)

So this is it. Share your plans with me (you can do that anonymously) or just rate my post below. 

Bye :*

My plans in one picture ;)

Why did you add me?

Good evening :)

You all use Facebook, right? You know how it works... Well, today a funny but really weird thing happened on it. Me and several friends of mine got a friend request from this girl... The problem is nobody knows who she is. I asked some of our friends that have already added her who she is. Nobody knew, they just accept everyone. Fine. Than I got few messages asking me if I know who she is. No. So, I accepted her request to see her pictures, maybe I'll recognize her. Still nothing. She has only one cover photo and it's not her or any of her friends, and I can't open her profile pictures. The weird part is that she obviously knows us because she added my whole class and the class next to us but nobody knows her. And the funny part were these messages. All with the same question: "I saw you accepted her. Who is she?" Ten of those. And now I ask you, who is crazy here? I asked her if we know each other but she's not answering. God knows who is messing with us. This is not the first time this had happened to me. I get an awful lot of requests like these. I usually get friend requests from some Indian/Arabian/Chinese guys (no offense to anyone). There's not a chance that we know each other but they still think I'll be their friend. What the hell is wrong with you dudes? And it's not the biggest problem that they add me, it's the fact that they get so offensive when I tell them that we can't be friends (because I don't want to be). Or they tell me how I'll die alone or how stupid I am... Seriously? Facebook might be stupid but you need to have, at least, few of brain cells to manage it. Why start a fight with an unknown person over nothing? You just seem like a very rude and idiotic person and the other person is either hurt or pissed off. You know? Facebook was really great before, what happened? Facebook didn't change its purpose, people became more stupid. They use it for arguing, bragging or stalking. What happened to getting in touch with people? I know that's why I made my account...

My thoughts exactly...

Shopaholic or not?

Hello everybody :)

I have few things I want to say. First, don't be mad if you can't really read titles or links in my posts. I am trying to fix things, to remove this white color on yellow surface. I'm trying to make it more visible. Second, I'm sorry I haven't posted anything yesterday because I promised I would try to post every day... And, of course, thank you for reading. So here we start...

I bought new boots the other day. The story behind it is that I was looking for these ankle-high boots, leather brown with metal rivets. When I got into the store, they told me that it's an old collection and they don't have my number. You can just imagine my disappointment. I was looking for these exact ones for two years!! So, I bought these other ones, also brown leather with rivets, but these will never be as pretty as those ones. They are very pretty, but you know when you see something and you set your mind on that and then nothing... Now, my friend D. would say that I shop all the time because I talk about going shopping almost every day. Most of the times I don't go and if I do go, I don't buy anything because I don't have money for it. I never payed much attention on brands, I go and I buy what I like (if I can afford it). I know I said that I love Nike (and I do) but it's not a "must" to have everything from that brand. People often see me as shopaholic and I can't convince them otherwise. I really can't understand why that is. First of all, to be shopaholic you need to have money which I don't have. And second, you need free time to go to malls. I don't have that either. So, what's the problem? I admit that I would love to shop every day but that's not happening. And I want people around me to see that I'm not shallow person who only sees the clothes and shops. I do have other hobbies, you know? God, people can be so judgemental...

Shopaholic ;)

A day in the woods

Hey people :)

What was the first thought on your mind when you read the title? Wooden house like in movies, beautiful view, flowers all around you, birds on trees...? Yes? No! I've slept for 4 hours the last night, got up at 6 and my day began! I went to the countryside today cause we needed to go and get some wood for the winter... This was a day full of sawing, traction, cutting and pushing trees. Full of falling down due to knee-deep mud caused by light but constant rain. The result is pretty good. We did everything we were supposed to do. But I came home looking like a pig. Also, my German shepherd did a pretty good job in getting me dirty by jumping on me and standing on me when I was down. My friend Anchy asked me why I am doing that. There are two reasons. First is because I want to. I really want to be a part of that. So people can't say I did nothing. There were three male persons and me. And I did the best I could. I'm weaker than them and I can't do as much as they did, but I tried. I really did! And that's why I do it. I want to prove that I can! And it kills me that most of people don't recognize my effort. There are always two people who do and I thank them with all my heart ("step-brother" Den and his father, step-brother is under quotation marks because I only call him that way, he's not really my step-brother). The other reason is very simple. I do it because every help there is, is needed.

Here below I show you some pictures of the forest, houses in the woods... The last picture of the woods is probably the best one to describe our forest (on the hill and steeply). 

Picture below is Arnold Schwarzenegger in movie Commando. The opening scene and my personal favorite from that movie. This is pretty much how guys looked like. ;)

Enjoy the rest of the day, bye :*

Day two

Hi my readers :)

Today's post will be short. I think. I have to get up really early tomorrow and I've been doing nothing the entire day so now I have a million of messages I need to answer, mails from some unknown people that I need to tell that I don't want to be their friend, and this post to write, and get ready for tomorrow... Gosh, I have a lot to do, yet, it's nothing when you look at it. I just know I won't go to bed any time soon. It just popped into my mind... Do you know what I mean when I write something? I don't use smileys in blog so I'm not sure if you understand everything in the way I meant it. But, I guess, I can't change it... As I said this will be short, I just wanted to ask you if you ever think about old friends. Persons you once couldn't imagine your life without but you grew apart... I just contacted one of mine and I feel pretty great... I've missed her. I'm telling you now: pick a phone/Facebook/Twitter or any other way of communicating and pick one of your former friends. Just ask them how they are, what they're doing now... You'll be happier, they too.

I promised that I will post every day but these days nothing is happening in my life. Tomorrow I'll have something to write as I won't be home the whole day. 

By the way, I bought new boots, I'll post a picture tomorrow as well. I'll leave you with some of my works (yes, my natural nails and my own manicure on them without a gel)...

P.S. All "tomorrow"s are actually "today"s because the midnight has passed in my country. Sleep well...

First day of 2014

"Your whole year will be like the first day of it." So they say... God forbid. Today was awful for me. It was boring and depressing as hell. I got no "Happy New Year" messages (except the ones I sent first), I saw nobody, I didn't leave my room. It was just me and my laptop and the new show I'm watching. Also I've seen that I've put on some weight during these holidays so that depressed me even more. When I look at this day, I have nothing positive to say. I don't want my whole year to be like this. Either way, I don't believe in this. I never did. There is one good thing, though... I mean, it's nothing compared to loneliness that I had to go through today but, sadly, it was the highlight of my day. I got a message from Mr. M. He wished me happy New Year. That was nice. My plan was not to contact him immediately, just to see if he'll remember. And he did. That made me smile. Oh, I forgot to say that I was home the whole night. It was just me and my mother. It wasn't bad at all. New Year's eve, nothing special (you could say I got old). I was sad, though, when I saw a group of people kissing each other, wishing Happy New Year to each other. They had fun, they were together. And I had no one. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but I wanted to be with my friends, with my boyfriend. And, apparently, I don't have either. (I have my Fiba and I love them. I'm not mad at you in case you'll read this some day ;).)

Again, I wish you all the best in this year.

So, this was depressing enough from me. I got to watch some more episodes...

Alone, NYE 2014 in Sydney

Happy New Year

Hi you all :))

First of all, I would like to thank you for opening my blog more than a 400 times. It's really rewarding and an honor for me.

And now, I wish you Happy New Year. May this year be the best so far. I wish you health, happiness, love, money, friendships, fun, good grades, higher paychecks, more free time... I want you all to get the best out of this year. You and your family and close ones. I also want you to forget all the bad things that happened in the past (leave the past in the past). Look to your future. Focus only on the good memories. Delete all fake friends and enemies from your life and hold on to those who are there. Who matter. If you haven't, find that special someone to tell you you're beautiful every day. Someone who will love you for you. Also, I want you to start loving yourself. In case you do love yourself, love yourself even more. (But don't get cocky, nobody likes cocky persons.) For you who are still in school, I want you to finish it with the higher possible grades and to get into really good college that you want and to pass all your exams and to find a job. A job that you'll like and enjoy. I also want you to have a nice family, loving, caring, to live in harmony. There are a lot of wishes for this year but to sum up I wish you all the best.

Now I only wonder if anyone has wished that for me... That would be nice.

Enjoy your life, you only have one.