09 February, 2014

What's the point?

Hey there :)
Have you ever been in situation where you asked yourself: "What's the point?" I'm sure you have. What's the point of telling your little brother not to jump into mud, when you know he will, every time? What's the point of asking a professor if he/she has graded the papers when you know they haven't (they need a month or two at least)? What's the point of looking for good news in the newspaper when you know there isn't any? There are a lot of "what's the point" moments. I have lots of them at home. They are (almost) all connected to my father. What's the point of telling him to go to bed when he falls asleep on the couch and snores, when I know he'll get upset and just turn around and fall asleep again. What's the point of telling him how sipping is rude, when I know he won't give that up. What's the point of telling him the names of my friends (because he asks), when I know he'll forget them (cause he doesn't care). All these make me hate the person. I give myself up because I can't see the point. And then I just sit there quietly, burning inside myself. I hate myself for not saying anything, but what's the point? Nothing will change. (The person might hate me more, but that's it.) What to do in situations like this? Sometimes, the price of keeping quiet is too damn high. I don't want to lose myself here and change my stands and believes but there's nothing I can do. I'm very patient person and I can take whole bunch of crap, but some things are just too much. Maybe I wouldn't be that irritated if I knew the person is trying to change that thing or if I knew they, at least, accepted it. But this is impossible to endure. I get more frustrated by the day and I'm afraid it will mess with my mind. I'm seriously going crazy about this few (hundred) things. Help me! Give me some good advice how to cope with this feeling of hate and depression. However, I don't want that "Talk to him." advice because that doesn't work in my family. You need to give me some advice I can do on myself. (I hope you don't have problems like this...)

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