(...)
In our country every new generation in collage has it's party. It's like a welcome to hell, I mean collage, party. Normally, I wouldn't go because there was nobody I knew, nobody I could hang out with and I'm not a type of person that just meets new people every second. But, I said to myself: If you don't go now, nobody will notice you, this is your chance. And I went. I prepared more mentally than physically. I was going alone. Now, I knew that all my new "colleagues" were going to be there but we are just not close enough yet. You know how it is. New surrounding, new people, awkward silences. Later, I was about to make plans with that girlfriend of mine (I mentioned her in previous post). She replied (to my text, of course), that she's going to meet up earlier with that guy (I was becoming friends with, also in previous post). They were going together. In the moment I read that text, I felt a heavy stone falling on my chest. Real pain. I can't even describe it. I guess my heart was broken that day as I have never felt like this before. Was that great feeling I had falling in love? God, why it couldn't be me? I ask you the same question. I was the one who he has met first, I, in fact, introduced them. Obviously, a big mistake. I was the one who talked to him every day, we laughed together. Now, I know that not everybody that talk to someone has to be in a relationship but she has never spoken a word with him until like two days before that party. Is it really just about the looks? Her being prettier than me? To be continued...
In our country every new generation in collage has it's party. It's like a welcome to hell, I mean collage, party. Normally, I wouldn't go because there was nobody I knew, nobody I could hang out with and I'm not a type of person that just meets new people every second. But, I said to myself: If you don't go now, nobody will notice you, this is your chance. And I went. I prepared more mentally than physically. I was going alone. Now, I knew that all my new "colleagues" were going to be there but we are just not close enough yet. You know how it is. New surrounding, new people, awkward silences. Later, I was about to make plans with that girlfriend of mine (I mentioned her in previous post). She replied (to my text, of course), that she's going to meet up earlier with that guy (I was becoming friends with, also in previous post). They were going together. In the moment I read that text, I felt a heavy stone falling on my chest. Real pain. I can't even describe it. I guess my heart was broken that day as I have never felt like this before. Was that great feeling I had falling in love? God, why it couldn't be me? I ask you the same question. I was the one who he has met first, I, in fact, introduced them. Obviously, a big mistake. I was the one who talked to him every day, we laughed together. Now, I know that not everybody that talk to someone has to be in a relationship but she has never spoken a word with him until like two days before that party. Is it really just about the looks? Her being prettier than me? To be continued...
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