Hello people :)
In all my high school experience I wanted to be visible. To be somebody people will know. Not necessarily popular person by the definition, just somebody who will enjoy their time in school because of friends. I was always the shy one, I said nothing until I got really really comfortable with someone. I could talk to everybody, I could really find topics with everybody to talk to, I just never did. Or I did, very rarely. My class really needed school trips. After every trip we became like a family, but that faded away during some holidays. In the fourth grade (seniors) I became more popular in my class. People needed my notebooks and my notes before big tests (not to brag, but I was the smart one). And I was fine with it. I knew they are not my real friends but I was still happy. I'm always happy if I can help someone. I started talking to people, I got to know most of them, the real them. I felt really good, but we still weren't that good to go out every Saturday together, to go on coffees, in the movies... And I was fine with that too. I'm still in touch with some of them on daily bases. I'm also trying to get in touch with everybody else just to remain some kind of communication, to see where they are and what's new. Now, in collage, I'm getting use to that feeling I never had. I'm a part of something. I'm getting dinner (sandwiches on some kind of a kiosk) with a guy friend (will call him Mr. F.), I'm teasing one guy (Mr. T.) that he owes me coffee, teaching some guys how to do braids just for fun... This all may seem lame to you and not a big deal, but if you had just walked a few inches in my shoes, you would know how strong feeling I have about all of this. By the way, I figured it out why it is that I hate Miss D. I'm jealous. And that's fine cause I don't desperately need a boyfriend like she do (or most of the girls I know), I need friends. Someone to hang with. And I think I'm on the right path to find them.
In all my high school experience I wanted to be visible. To be somebody people will know. Not necessarily popular person by the definition, just somebody who will enjoy their time in school because of friends. I was always the shy one, I said nothing until I got really really comfortable with someone. I could talk to everybody, I could really find topics with everybody to talk to, I just never did. Or I did, very rarely. My class really needed school trips. After every trip we became like a family, but that faded away during some holidays. In the fourth grade (seniors) I became more popular in my class. People needed my notebooks and my notes before big tests (not to brag, but I was the smart one). And I was fine with it. I knew they are not my real friends but I was still happy. I'm always happy if I can help someone. I started talking to people, I got to know most of them, the real them. I felt really good, but we still weren't that good to go out every Saturday together, to go on coffees, in the movies... And I was fine with that too. I'm still in touch with some of them on daily bases. I'm also trying to get in touch with everybody else just to remain some kind of communication, to see where they are and what's new. Now, in collage, I'm getting use to that feeling I never had. I'm a part of something. I'm getting dinner (sandwiches on some kind of a kiosk) with a guy friend (will call him Mr. F.), I'm teasing one guy (Mr. T.) that he owes me coffee, teaching some guys how to do braids just for fun... This all may seem lame to you and not a big deal, but if you had just walked a few inches in my shoes, you would know how strong feeling I have about all of this. By the way, I figured it out why it is that I hate Miss D. I'm jealous. And that's fine cause I don't desperately need a boyfriend like she do (or most of the girls I know), I need friends. Someone to hang with. And I think I'm on the right path to find them.
No comments:
Post a Comment